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#42
08-04-2007, 05:45 PM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
Yeah its not a great analogy because marchron, the author greatly resembles "Irish Mike" the lead protagonist [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]. Or perhaps antagonist [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
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#45
08-05-2007, 02:14 AM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
Honestly, I don't know whose TRs are better, my boy Marchon or BBB, but since March is an LT member, I gotta ship him da gorgonzolas.
My favorite part: SOAGDB HYA(CHA X5) Brilliant!
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#46
08-05-2007, 03:01 PM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
[ QUOTE ]
My favorite part: SOAGDB HYA(CHA X5) Brilliant! [/ QUOTE ] seconded and NC title nominated
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#47
08-06-2007, 03:40 PM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] the new Harry Potter of poker [/ QUOTE ] New title b/c no one gets the Snakes on a Plane reference anymore. [/ QUOTE ] I second the motion!!! [/ QUOTE ] New title yes (thanks Wook), Harry Potter no. Sorry. Colossal finale coming later tonight.
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#49
08-06-2007, 06:45 PM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] the new Harry Potter of poker [/ QUOTE ] New title b/c no one gets the Snakes on a Plane reference anymore. [/ QUOTE ] I second the motion!!! [/ QUOTE ] New title yes (thanks Wook), Harry Potter no. Sorry. Colossal finale coming later tonight. [/ QUOTE ] I just suggested that so you can keep your grouch on, what with boz still being away and all. Keep up the good work.
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#50
08-07-2007, 05:00 AM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
[ QUOTE ]
Colossal finale coming later tonight. [/ QUOTE ] You know, on second thought, I think I'll split these up. FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORT DAY 3 Hi, I'm Irish Mike, and I'll be your Trip Report Guide today. Hi, I'm Irish Mike's translator. For all those of you who have never read 2+2 before, I'll be here to explain what the hell some of this crap means. It's almost as if we speak an entirely different language. Vets, I'll explain why this is necessary in a minute, but until then, order to keep the flow of the story moving for you guys, from here on out my text will appear in <font color="white">white</font>. Just click and scroll to read it. And for a video with more about me, click here. <font color="white">What you just fell victim to was a "rickroll," where unsuspecting 'net-surfers think they're clicking on a legitimate link, but instead get sent to a video of "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Once you've clicked, you are honor-bound to watch the whole thing. And if any of you vets got suckered by that, shame on you.</font> At the conclusion of Part III, I pronounced "Sleep is overrated." And shortly after submitting that post, I realized just how wrong I was when I ordered coffee, black, from the cocktail waitress. I distinctly remember doing this. But there were two things that were very obviously wrong with that: 1. I never drink black coffee. 2. I was at my house. Somehow, I staggered off to bed at just after 9 AM and didn't wake up until almost 5 PM Saturday afternoon. Guh, I've missed almost a whole day, and this little party ends tomorrow so I need to figure out some way of fixing my sleepclock. Hmm . . . guess there's nothing left to do but an alllllll-nighter, hell yeah. I arrive at Four Winds' E-Poker Room at just after 6:30 and discover one thing instantly: the TVs were all showing the Cubs game. This is great, because for the two days and three nights previous, those TVs had all been fixed on ESPN, and let me tell you, there's nothing I like more when playing poker than watching "Pardon The Interruption" . . . on mute. I think we can all agree that Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon are better heard and not seen, if they should be allowed to be heard or seen at all. So the fact that someone in Central Security found a remote control was awesome, but all of the TVs in the poker room are a good 15 feet off the ground. I'd like to see it closer, please. So I walk out into the non-poker poker game area and discover that those TVs were on the Cubs game as well. I sit down at Pai Gow, just to be doing something while watching the game, and discover that it's basically as wild as Pai Gow can get. The first three seats were occupied by a husband and wife and their friend, and the fourth was by someone who looked like Johnny Chan, only miniature, and Johnny Chan isn't exactly a giant of a fellow to begin with. Well after the Cubs game ended, I was still there, getting liquored up on their dimes. I left with about a $3 profit, lol pusheveryotherhandaments. <font color="white">"lol _____aments" was originally "lol donkaments," a catch-all response to anyone who was the victim of an atrocious suckout in a tournament, especially a low buy-in tourney featuring lots of "donks," awful players. Eventually, it morphed into a general "eh, what can ya do?" statement, with the specific object or sentiment crammed into the space before "aments," so what I said, translated, was "I played for a while and only won $3, but hey, it's Pai Gow, that happens when almost every hand is a push." Nobody really says "lol donkaments" anymore unless it's an intentionally sarcastic statement about a high buy-in tournament (like the WSOP Main Event) or when we pledge large amounts to charities headed by players like Barry Greenstein or Phil Gordon in exchange for them saying it and/or giving us a shoutout on TV.</font> When I finally decided to play real poker on artificial tables, I got seated at another fairly rowdy table. I'd been toeing the Mike Matusow/Tony G line between garrulous entertainment and arrogant prickishness since I'd been there, but I found someone who was even louder and more boisterous than I was: Dave. Dave's standards for raising preflop were, by his own admission, any two cards that were red (not necessarily SUITED, just RED), or any hand containing at least one 8, and I think he was serious. He would also say things like, "I guess if I have the nuts I should press THIS button," then bet and watch everyone call him down when he had the nuts, usually something like 4[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 3[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] that made a straight. What caught my attention, though, was that when Dave found a hand he'd play until the river, he always bet it for value. This was refreshing, and I told him so, because at a level like 3/6 people would check top set of Kings on the river because the running two cards that filled the backdoor straight for 62 got there. (Seriously, I saw that.) So naturally, the first hand I played with Dave, I had A[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] A[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], the river made the board 8[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] Jx Q[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 9x K[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] and I didn't have the stones to value-bet into him heads-up with every single hand in history getting there. "I would have paid you off," he said when I won the showdown. Why, what did you have? "A pocket pair." Huh, every single pair from KK to 88 beats me on that board, why did you pay off a much smaller pair with all those overcards on the flop and turn? "'Cause, they were RED sevens." Oh, okay. Have another beer, Dave. Speaking of boisterous, two of the players there had screennames in capital letters, MITCH and JASON K. They didn't do a lot of talking, but they did do a lot of sucking out, so much so that I christened MITCH with my "MacGyver" moniker, and he seemed to dig it as much as Donkald did the day before. So you may all feel free to steal it. I was also trying to outdo Dave in terms of general rowdiness, so everyone else at the table got a nickname, usually built off whatever screenname they'd selected. So the old black guy named Ronald became "Ronald McDonald," the chubby gray-haired guy named Ken became "Ken Doll," and Ken's girlfriend? Amy became "Aaaaammmyyyyy, whatchuwannado?" Pure Prairie League FTW. <font color="white">"FTW" is "for the win" in internet-speak, said in the same confident manner as contestants on "Hollywood Squares."</font> I was in Seat 10 on that table, Dave was in Seat 7. I beat Dave out of another couple of pots and ran up $75, so on a smoke break, I went out to the Pai Gow table to check on my new friends and pay them back all the drinks I owed them because I was kicking so much ass. When I get back, Wes had sat down in Seat 8, soon to be followed by yet another Mike, in Seat 9, and they were the bane of my existence for most of the rest of the night. I watched Wes suck out on Mike with K4 vs. AK when they both flopped a pair, but Wes hit a runner-runner straight to win, and from then on out Mike tried to isolate Wes in every hand they were in together, which made it really expensive for me to try to isolate the both of them. For example, they both limp and I raise AT[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img], MITCH and JASON K call, Dave has two red cards (but not an 8, otherwise he three-bets) so obviously he's in, and we see a flop of KTx. Wes bets, Mike raises, I three-bet, folds around, so it's three ways to the turn where the board pairs Kings. Wes checks, Mike bets, I say "Well, you can't have the King, because you'd check/raise me" and call, Wes check/raises as if he had Dave's "if you have the nuts, press here" button, Mike calls, I LOL and fold. The hand ends with Mike having JT and Wes having the obvious KJ, and Mike is stunned that I folded a better hand than his. After a few more hands I realize I've got them pegged wrong; they're not donks, they're just the LAGTAGs you hate playing when you're in a fishbowl, because they get in a lot of pots and they're a pain in the ass when they do. Plus, they knew how to extract value; I saw Wes value-bet a 6-high one-card flush, and get paid off. I was quickly going broke trying to force them out, until a timely hand when I had TT and flopped a set in a four-way capped pot, while Ken Doll had AK and flopped TPTK, and that put me back at break-even. After that, I changed my strategy against Wes and Mike; instead of attempting to outplay them, I'd just hit them upside the head with my luckbox and rob them when they were lying on the floor dazed. <font color="white">Luckbox is just what it sounds, only it's a metaphor. At least, I'm pretty sure it's a metaphor.</font> I limp in from EP with QTs, MITCH limps in, Wes limps from the button, we see a flop of Kxx. I check, MITCH checks, Wes bets, I call, MITCH folds. No, I didn't have a straight draw, but I had six clean outs. Turn 9, I check, he bets, I call with four more outs; river 10, check bet call, I win with a pair of tens, mwahahahaha. Later, after a smoke break, I come back and log in (when you sit out a hand, the table reserves your seat for you, but you still have to log back in to play) and forget that once you do, the table will post missed blinds automatically, so I'm stuck posting second to act. Mike raises UTG, and I warn him that I'm calling with any two since he basically did the same to me when I raised his post and he called with T6o and outflopped me. I look down and see 95s and call; MITCH three-bets. Oops. Mike and I call and the flop is 99J, and I catch Mike with AJ and MITCH with QQ, ship it. On my next smoke break, I'm talking with a couple guys outside the poker room, mistaking them for other players. They ask me what I think, and I tell them basically what I've told everyone else: while I miss some of the poker ambience, the electronic tables speed up the game and free up the casino to charge less rake. They 'fess up that they're with PokerTek, the company that makes the tables, and then they ask me about recommendations. Straddling and chopping? "Those will be available after the system upgrade in October that will include adding Stud." Okay, if you have Stud that means you can have HORSE, right? "Actually, we were thinking about programming a dealer's choice variant." Sweet, all you need now is 6-max tables. (And are you hiring? Let me know where to send a résumé.) After I go back in, I think to ask one of them something else, so I flag him down. I forget what it was, exactly, but it basically came directly from this thread. He starts with "Yeah, we read that somewhere . . . " then looks me over: Notre Dame T-shirt. "Whassup Bro?" hat with the PPA pin in it. "Hey, you're the guy from 2+2, right?" Holy [censored], you read that? "Yeah, it was hilarious." Did you understand any of it? "No, not really, but the MS Paint thing was funny as hell." Then he gave me a polo shirt. They gave out hats to everyone who wanted one, but I'm special, I get a shirt. Ship it. <font color="white">I'm not sure how the MS Paint phenomenon started here, but it made logical sense. Regular pictures: not funny. Pictures altered with PhotoShop: funny. Pictures crudely drawn by hand or with an anciently old program: HILARIOUS.</font> The place was still hot well after midnight, but my cards were cold. Dave, inspired by my "Irish Mike" moniker, went and got his name changed to "Poker Dave," which seemed a little silly, but it reminded me of Super Dave, which is awesome. He also moved from Seat 7 to Seat 3. Even though the place was busy, it seemed to take a turn for the worse in terms of action. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like after midnight, a lot of poker rooms go from fun to serious. Even Dave was quiet, but maybe that was just because he'd either quit drinking or drank too much. Wes and Dave had left, but in Poker Dave's old seat came a "Michael," and I had to comment about that, since I'd seen 391 different "Mikes" walk in, but he was the first "Michael." He never took the iPod headphones out of his ears to acknowledge me. Okay, you're pretty serious for 3/6 limit. After about forever and a day, I pick up QQ in middle position. Michael limps, I raise with much fanfare, and the table respected my raise because I only got five coldcallers instead of seven. Michael calls and the flop comes Kxx with two clubs. Michael donks, I raise, it's called three or four times and Michael three-bets. I LOL and fold, knowing QQ can't possibly be good. Turn is a blank, river is a non-club 8; Michael wins the pot with 87[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] for a pair of eights and I go on insta-tilt. I fold the next couple hands and log off before the big blind. How am I going to spend the rest of the night? Will I ever recover from my crazy monkey tilt? This and more, next time.
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