#1
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Survival of the fittest
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. |
#2
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Re: Survival of the fittest
i find people with no life much more interesting than people with a life
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#3
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Re: Survival of the fittest
this is beyond awesome
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#4
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Re: Survival of the fittest
try a plain M&M vs a skittle and report back
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#5
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Re: Survival of the fittest
lol A+
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#6
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Re: Survival of the fittest
[ QUOTE ]
this is beyond awesome [/ QUOTE ] |
#7
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Re: Survival of the fittest
If EricW's posts were as good as this one I'd join the Friendship Club.
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#8
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Re: Survival of the fittest
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] this is beyond awesome [/ QUOTE ] [/ QUOTE ] |
#9
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Re: Survival of the fittest
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] this is beyond awesome [/ QUOTE ] [/ QUOTE ] [/ QUOTE ] |
#10
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Re: Survival of the fittest
haha nh
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