Problem with husband of friend - need advice please

[supafrey]

Alerting the authorities is most likely a waste of time, unless it offers you some sort of mental security, etc. They won't/can't really do much in these kinds of situations, and personally i value my time too much to haveta sit in some station for hours. God knows what substances they'd smell on me, anyways.

Linking the other woman to this thread seems like a good idea, but recording a conversation seems a bit too Full House or Dharma and Greg or something for my liking. Life isn't an intricate series of zany plots to solve otherwise semi-difficult situations. lol at everyone talking about phonetaps' legality being of concern in this instance, btw.

Personally, I would have just told the girl, cut ties with him (and almost 100% her too, obv) and gone on with my life after a sharty situation. Yeah, it sucks- some guys are pricks, and I'm sorry you had to deal with it.

[cpitt398]

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Alerting the authorities is most likely a waste of time, unless it offers you some sort of mental security, etc. They won't/can't really do much in these kinds of situations, and personally i value my time too much to haveta sit in some station for hours. God knows what substances they'd smell on me, anyways.



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filing a report is not being recommended b/c people think something will be done about it. The OP doesnt even want something to be done about it, for fear of retribution and the fact that despite being put in a scary spot, not much physical harm was done.

The whole point is just getting it on record so if he does something like this again it isn't brushed aside as a one time thing or a misunderstanding. By simply having the police make note of it, a future victim (most likely 3rd) may not have to go through being a victim of a possible rape or assault. The cops prob wont even talk to him about it at this time and it shouldnt take long to get it on record

[pergesu]

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Alerting the authorities is most likely a waste of time, unless it offers you some sort of mental security, etc. They won't/can't really do much in these kinds of situations, and personally i value my time too much to haveta sit in some station for hours

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How about this scenario. Two years ago this creep did the same thing to another girl. She reports it to the cops, they say, "it's a sad story really, there's nothing we can do though sorry."

Flash forward to last week when this goes down. OP calls the cops and informs them what happens. Before whereas it was (still) probably worth investigating, now they are compelled to investigate this.

It's sad that complaints like this often aren't taken seriously. It's especially sad when that results in another women being far more severely harmed. In the mean time, every woman who lets this sort of behavior go unreported is doing a disservice to the next woman. And I think women should be more aggressive in pursuing charges in these sorts of cases, and should receive the benefit of the doubt from and full support of their friends and family. This kind of stuff happens to millions of women every single day and it's about time we put a stop to it.

[aladare]

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Alerting the authorities is most likely a waste of time, unless it offers you some sort of mental security, etc. They won't/can't really do much in these kinds of situations, and personally i value my time too much to haveta sit in some station for hours

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How about this scenario. Two years ago this creep did the same thing to another girl. She reports it to the cops, they say, "it's a sad story really, there's nothing we can do though sorry."

Flash forward to last week when this goes down. OP calls the cops and informs them what happens. Before whereas it was (still) probably worth investigating, now they are compelled to investigate this.

It's sad that complaints like this often aren't taken seriously. It's especially sad when that results in another women being far more severely harmed. In the mean time, every woman who lets this sort of behavior go unreported is doing a disservice to the next woman. And I think women should be more aggressive in pursuing charges in these sorts of cases, and should receive the benefit of the doubt from and full support of their friends and family. This kind of stuff happens to millions of women every single day and it's about time we put a stop to it.

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You sound like ME, and now i'm questioning if you're a male!

seriously tho, excellenct point, and that is what i was saying as well about reporting these things! I do. And it' s for ALL women in the future, or those that have cases in court and would get corroborating evidence of such behavior! Way to stand up for women Perg!!!!!!!!!!

-ala

[supafrey]

Judging purely from my legal knowledge, I'm nearly certain that anything sans rapekit "proof" or other witnesses/vids/whatever to an actual act does NOT warrant pressed charges or trial for a DA. Circumstantial stuff about other people coming "forward" with this stuff is inadmissable and while it may get the cops to ask a few more questions, it ultimately won't lead to much. (I'm in Canada.. if these rules are somehow different in a more stressed out/busy precinct in some state, so be it)

I understand the sentiments and the intentions, I just wanted to inject some "what the law will actually do" into this hopeful endeavour.

[RacersEdge]

This is the most bizarre thread I ever scanned - woman trying to decide whether husband of friend should be reported to police - then paranormal activity??

Anyway, OP, you sound like a nice person, but fairly naive. You've only known these people a couple years - not a lifetime friendship. Don't be surprised the guy is not as he seems when you were in social settings. And of course the wife would tell her husband she was meeting you - and give him time to manipulate her.

All the "I'm a private person" and "i don't want to spend anymore energy on this" really sound like copouts. Sorry to be so direct, but this is a serious matter that you want to sweep it under the rug.

File a police report. Move away if you have to.

[imitation]

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does anyone seriously believe a middle aged women reads OOT, and not only that she comes here to post her problems....people amaze me.

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