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Old 04-29-2006, 06:05 PM
diebitter diebitter is offline
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Default For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

Okay, this is one for fathers, and therefore mostly the older posters.

I've been a father for over 10 years now, 3 children. I still remember my first one's birth very vividly.

It was a Monday, late November 1995, and the evening by the time he was delivered. It was a relatively short labour, and the little guy was 2 weeks early, but still 8 and a half pounds.

He was born on 9:40pm in the evening. I remember this cos back then, X-Files was big, and run on a Monday from 9-9:50pm, and I remember thinking absently '10 minutes of the X-Files left'. I tend to think dumb things like that in intense situations.

Afterwards, he was checked over and cleaned up, and pretty strong and healthy, they gave him to me while the midwife took my wife for a bath. They left me in a little room with a dim light, sitting in an armchair, all alone with my new son.

He was so light, and he kept looking around the room, and then looking up at me, straight into my eyes. All the time, just looking straight into my eyes with his enormous, dark eyes, and then a quick look around the room. Each time he looked up, it felt like he was thinking 'this guy's okay, he'll look after me.' He was quiet and didn't cry, and 24 hours before I would have been terrified of being left alone with a little baby, but this just felt right.

It was very peaceful. Finally, about 1 or 2 am, I left them at the hospital and went home alone. Slept, went back the next day, and had to leave for an hour or two during lunch time, when I wandered into town.

As I walked in, I remember feeling scared, thinking how now there was one other being in the world that I'd actually do absolutely anything for, before I let him come to harm. I grew terrified about how destroyed I'd be if he was to die, is the bottom line, it was like a wave of panic. It was a profoundly and shockingly deep feeling, and it grew as I walked around the busy town in a sort of daze. Finally I went back, and the feeling disappeared as something powerful by the time I got back, and I felt okay again.

I don't know if many new fathers get something like this. I think each guy is probably completely different in how he reacts.

Can you remember your feelings when your first one was born? What was it like?
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Old 04-29-2006, 06:10 PM
Gunny Highway Gunny Highway is offline
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Default Re: For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

I remember the day very vividly, but honestly, when my first child was born, it was like a couple of weeks before I really felt any kind of bond. It bothered my for awhile but I've since been told that it's fairly common for new fathers, first time fathers in particular. Now my kids mean pretty much everything. Nothing I wouldn't do.
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Old 04-29-2006, 06:15 PM
diebitter diebitter is offline
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Default Re: For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

Yeah, I was surprised how fast it was for me. I really think being left with the little guy in a quiet, low-lit room, with him looking up at me and being very calm, must have accelerated it quite a lot.
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Old 04-29-2006, 06:37 PM
sandycove sandycove is offline
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Default Re: For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

I remember it quite well. It was exactly 37 years and 7 days ago. Ten days after the birth I was in Vietnam. I did not expect to see him again.

Somehow, 28 years later, I was in another delivery room, in scrubs, with 24 medical professionals who were involved in various aspects of the delivery of my 50-day-premature twin daughters. Ten days after the birth, I carried them home. I've never left their side since.
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Old 04-29-2006, 06:38 PM
youtalkfunny youtalkfunny is offline
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Default Re: For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

I was in the delivery room. What a horrible custom that is. I'd much rather live in the "Father's Waiting Room" era.

C-section, wife is out cold. I'm standing next to her head, video camera in hand. That's another stupid custom. I refuse to watch the video. I didn't even want to bring a camera, but everyone urged me to, so I did. I didn't bring any cameras for subsequent visits to the delivery room.

I was working at the IP sportsbook at the time, and it's the day after the Superbowl, so the entire video is the doctor and I talking about prop bets.

Finally, I hear a "squish, plop!" noise. The kid is out.

And she's not crying.

Uh-oh.

Nobody on the staff sounds panicked, but their body language has changed completely. We've gone from "routine" to "urgent" without anyone saying a word.

The head nurse has the kid, and is walking quickly over to the "clean the baby up" table. The kid lets out a half-hearted welp, which I decide is better than nothing. And I catch a glimpse of my daughter for the first time: she's blue.

I can't remember exactly what happened next. Bottom line is, she had a partially collapsed lung. They got her breathing, and everything was fine within minutes.

That fear of the kid potentially being in harm's way that DB mentioned--I got to feel that when she was two seconds old. Abject terror.

I wasn't at the hospital when my second kid was born. I can't remember why not, but I got there when it was all over. Instead of a blue kid, this time we got a yellow one (jaundice). "She's in the nursery. They have her in one of those glass cases, under UV lights, to treat the jaundice."

Down to the nursery I go. I find the glass case with the lights. There's my little girl. They have a blindfold on her, to protect her eyes from the lights. And they have her hands tied behind her back, so she doesn't tug at the blindfold.

Somebody could've taken a minute, and prepared me for that sight. I became completely unglued for a few minutes.

Third kid, third color: pink. Healthy! About damn time.

At that point, we quit while we were ahead.

(This thread where men talk about their feelings strikes me as very un-macho. My father would not approve.)
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  #6  
Old 04-29-2006, 07:00 PM
GambleGamble GambleGamble is offline
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Default Re: For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

DB,

Great post......

....I just hope when I spawn my demon child that I will have a similar experiences to yours...

GG
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Old 04-29-2006, 07:08 PM
diebitter diebitter is offline
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Default Re: For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

[ QUOTE ]
Down to the nursery I go. I find the glass case with the lights. There's my little girl. They have a blindfold on her, to protect her eyes from the lights. And they have her hands tied behind her back, so she doesn't tug at the blindfold.

Somebody could've taken a minute, and prepared me for that sight. I became completely unglued for a few minutes.


[/ QUOTE ]

Holy crap. That's just awful. How could they not warn you of it? [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Thanks for sharing though. Parenthood is a long, long march, and you really don't get to ease into it, do you.
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  #8  
Old 04-29-2006, 07:33 PM
KyleC KyleC is offline
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Default Re: For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

A good thread...I've been a father for just a little over a month now and it's crazy how much your life changes once you become a father. My daughter Rachel Michelle was born March 30th at 9:54 pm weighing 9lbs 8oz and 21 inches long. Our digital camera has been very handy and I advise any soon to be fathers out there to make sure to have one. I have taken over a couple hundred pictures in the past month. All in all it's been great my wife and daughter love our daughter very much even though she enjoys waking us up between 3-6am heh but it's all good. Theres my little story kind of hard to forget since it was only a month ago. Looking forward to more stories.
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Old 04-29-2006, 07:48 PM
Salt N Shake Salt N Shake is offline
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Default Re: For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

I remember giving birth to my number tWo. Sitting on that cold plastic toilet lid, elbows on knees and giving a satisfying squeeze it slid out and sploshed into the bowl.

It stank of victory.

AFTER THAT I SMEARED POO EVERYWHERE.
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  #10  
Old 04-29-2006, 08:03 PM
daveymck daveymck is offline
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Default Re: For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

It was pretty quick for me but horrible non the less, was overdue so they broke her waters. Hooked up the tens machine, I was in charge of the control and turned it up a touch too much she nearly bounced off the ceiling.

Labour was very quick but we had a problem that the nurse assisting was a trainee she was ending training she checked when the head was out for the cord etc but screwed up. SO cord was round which meant my daughter came out not breathing properly, so she was shoved in front of her mams nose then rushed off to get oxygen.

Very scary moreso for me as our lass was out of it on the gas and air, but everything was fine.

I think looking back now though while it is a life defining moment and people build up to it as the pregnancy goes on as a main even, I think though that the highlights come a lot later in parental life moreso once the broken sleep nights and nappies finish.

Then the buggers become teens and I see what a pain in the ass my stepson currently is I would say make sure you make the most of these early years.
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