What's the funniest 1-liner you've heard after a hand?

[Turning Stone Pro]

My old italian buddy Don, from a game we used to have in the basement of a pizza place, in response to raising a strong hand early in a 7-stud game and driving everyone out . . .

"a c**k in the hand is worth two in the bush"

TSP

[Bad Beat Maker]

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a few nights ago i played 2/5nl at bellagio and this guy called me down w/A high no pair (obv lost) and said:

"you're lucky i suck"

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haha, as ESPN would say thats an instant classic.

[Bad Beat Maker]

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I'm playing 25nl vs. some donk. I 3bet AKo vs. him and he flat calls. Flop is A89r and he bets like $10 into a $12 and I raise to $25 with like $6 behind he pushes and flips over JQo for a gutshot. He hits and I ask him why he played it so bad.

He says "well I had 14 outs against you plus I had fold equity, but you wouldnt understand that." lol

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I wish I could meet this guy. I'd kind of take him around with me everywhere kind of like a pet dog. Loads of fun.

[Mingdu]

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Ok this one needs a lil back story. Im down in a 10-20 game in LV and one super overweight redheaded hick that I have played w/ before from AR in the game. And the other key player is a man who looks like he was burnt up really bad, whole face was burnt, only had use of one arm, was in a wheelchair, looked like he could only use 2 fingers, basically looks like an old man who was in a terribly disfiguring accident then set on fire 10 years ago.

Redneck gets drawn out on once, and starts cussing. he gets drawn out on a second time and stands up and says "GD-it!! You are the luckiest mother F#####r on this F"N Planet!!!!". so loud everyone turned around. I did everything in my power not to bust out laughing. the poor guy could barely push his chips in the pot. lol. funniest thing i have ever heard in a live poker game

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I would have laughed ... pretty funny

[BowToYourSensei]

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BOOYAH

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i destroy you