Weighty issue I feel powerless to handle (Longest Post Ever OMG)

[Hellmouth]

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Microbob:

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I get the impression that he's not really in this for the drama and would be MUCH happier if they could just be happy together and she could introduce him to her parents like a normal GF would and their relationship could proceed like normal.


I also am not sure about the idea of telling him to cut his losses right-away. Maybe there's something to that.
But the dude's in love so that just doesn't strike me as a realistic option at this point.

They do need to have some extended real time together without the other drama-stuff to learn better if they are the real deal though.

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yes yes yes yes.

***

Anyway, I see that recently this thread has taken a bit of a turn to the direction I anticipated (and believe me, a direction I fully sympathize with), which is the instruction to get out. But let me do my best to steer it back if possible, based once again on this statement from my OP:

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And I know some of you may be thinking “give it up, dude, she’s nuts, her family is nuts, and you need to find someone else.” I understand that sentiment, but unfortunately that doesn’t help because a) I don’t really want to leave her; we have too good a time together… and b) that wouldn’t solve her situation at all. The question isn’t whether or not I should stick with her – that’s beside the point. It’s how can I, if possible, help to prevent the imprisonment and selling out of a woman who doesn’t deserve to be abused by her family like this.

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Maybe she and I will split up; maybe we won't. That's for us to decide. But what I'm hoping you guys can do -- based on experiences you've had with similar situations, and knowledge about Chinese culture (as many great posts have granted thus far) -- is shed some light on what's going on with her family and what might be done to prevent her from completely submitting to the will of unreasonable parents.

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If it were your parents and the situation were reversed would you expect that she could do something?

This is a problem that for better or for worse you are along for the ride. You have already professed to feel powerless. It is because for the most part you are. There is really not much that you can do.

The best thing you can do is to take care of yourself (thats where all the "run away" comments are coming from). However, since that is not an option, the best thing you can do is to lend May support as she tries to deal with the situation. In the mean time, as the good Dr mentioned above, use this situation as a catalyst to do a little self reflection and figure out why you only want inaccessible women. That way if things don't work, you won't end up reliving this a second time.

Regards,
Greg

[Anacardo]

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In the mean time, as the good Dr mentioned above, use this situation as a catalyst to do a little self reflection and figure out why you only want inaccessible women. That way if things don't work, you won't end up reliving this a second time.

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Lines like this strike me, an observer, as really stupid and presumptuous, so I can only imagine what Joker makes of them.

[Hellmouth]

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PJ,

Going on what little I know about this situation, you need to get the [censored] out of it before it costs you more than it already has, 'costing' being the only likely thing it will do for you.

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Lines like this strike me, an observer, as really stupid and presumptuous, so I can only imagine what Joker makes of them.

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Funny, I was just thinking the same thing. Maybe he should go off to reflect about the 'cost' of love? [/sarcasm]

[MicroBob]

I think Hellmouth's points are all very good ones.