little cousin getting pushed around

[LonesomeFugitive]

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds"

the good people always get picked on.

[4_2_it]

blarg,

My last post was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I'll try to explain my thinking. We are talking about 5 year olds. There really aren't bullies (at least as far as most of us define bully) at that age. Some kids are just more physical than others. Obviously, there should not be an environment where 5-year olds are allowed to fight (sanctioned death matches in gyms not withstanding), but I think I need more evidence of a problem outside of the usual 1st day of school stuff that happens everywhere before I hit the panic button.

When schools get a batch of kindergartners they have no history or background on the kids. The teachers and school administrators need some time to assess which kids are likely to cause disruptions to the learning process. I would hope that if the parents truly feel their child is in any danger, they would go to the school and talk to the teacher and principal. That's what my wife and I do any time we feel the need to get involved what goes on during the school day.

If a kid has never been to a formal school, it is normal to expect a period of adjustment. Going from being the center of the universe with Mom and Dad to just one of 25 cogs in a classroom is not an easy adjustment for every child. I'm not excusing the behavior, but I am much less alarmed about 5 year olds getting physical then say 3rd or 4th graders.

[Ringo]

He needs to make a "shank" (prison knife) out of a toothbrush and a razor blade, then find the "daddy", and shank him on the first day of school. Problem solved.

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]

He needs to make a "shank" (prison knife) out of a toothbrush and a razor blade, then find the "daddy", and shank him on the first day of school. Problem solved.

[/ QUOTE ]

In my experience 10 cans of Yahoo in a pillowcase sends a better message. After you pummel the bully you give each kid who has been traumatized a Yahoo. That's the first step in how to start your own gang.

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

He needs to make a "shank" (prison knife) out of a toothbrush and a razor blade, then find the "daddy", and shank him on the first day of school. Problem solved.

[/ QUOTE ]

In my experience 10 cans of Yahoo in a pillowcase sends a better message. After you pummel the bully you give each kid who has been traumatized a Yahoo. That's the first step in how to start your own gang.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, its yoohoo ya yahoo.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
blarg,

My last post was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I'll try to explain my thinking. We are talking about 5 year olds. There really aren't bullies (at least as far as most of us define bully) at that age. Some kids are just more physical than others. Obviously, there should not be an environment where 5-year olds are allowed to fight (sanctioned death matches in gyms not withstanding), but I think I need more evidence of a problem outside of the usual 1st day of school stuff that happens everywhere before I hit the panic button.

When schools get a batch of kindergartners they have no history or background on the kids. The teachers and school administrators need some time to assess which kids are likely to cause disruptions to the learning process. I would hope that if the parents truly feel their child is in any danger, they would go to the school and talk to the teacher and principal. That's what my wife and I do any time we feel the need to get involved what goes on during the school day.

If a kid has never been to a formal school, it is normal to expect a period of adjustment. Going from being the center of the universe with Mom and Dad to just one of 25 cogs in a classroom is not an easy adjustment for every child. I'm not excusing the behavior, but I am much less alarmed about 5 year olds getting physical then say 3rd or 4th graders.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with pretty much everything you said, including that it's usually not a big deal at all at the age of 5.

Of note is that I think taking self-defense is just a fun, healthy, and wise thing to do for the reasons I've already given. So I don't believe doing that is a panic response or should be put in the category of desperate measures. It's just good for kids and gives them the confidence everybody deserves to go through life with.

I don't agree that dominance games are not going on by that age though. In our foster family, we saw that they were going on even younger. It's kind of human nature. Kids will steal each other's toys, sometimes even when they don't want them. And that's sometimes out of simple blockheaded greed, but sometimes it's about one kid punishing the other or pushing him around. Even kids in diapers can get into hitting each other spitefully, and knocking smaller kids around endlessly for entertainment. Establishing dominance and acting out against each other is just something we do. I think it's the nature of all animals. Plus, as animals go, we're jerks.

At five, these things are minor matters, but I remember well-established bullies in the second grade quite clearly, around age 7. So it's not long coming. And I remember one getting thrown flat on his back by an unassuming, passive, much smaller kid he had been picking on who had taken some judo. The bully who got thrown was stunned and shocked, but he didn't get hurt and he didn't pick on that kid anymore. That was the end of it between them. I'd say it was about as realistically ideal an outcome as you can expect in this nutty world.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

He needs to make a "shank" (prison knife) out of a toothbrush and a razor blade, then find the "daddy", and shank him on the first day of school. Problem solved.

[/ QUOTE ]

In my experience 10 cans of Yahoo in a pillowcase sends a better message. After you pummel the bully you give each kid who has been traumatized a Yahoo. That's the first step in how to start your own gang.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think the power of the wet willie is being given short shrift here.

[Rootabager]

[ QUOTE ]
Jon,

Tell your cousin you would rather him go to the principles office for fighting than the nurses office for bleeding.

Tell him to defend himself and to stop acting soft.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is the right answer. going to the teacher is against the rules of the playground.

[Blarg]

It will certainly get you ostracized and probably picked on and ridiculed even more.