Stupid things you believed as a child

[TheDudeAbides]

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I used to speculate that I was the sole survivor of the human race and that everyone else was a robot. It made it easier to slack on my paper route.

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I take it you were the eyes and ears of the creator of the universe?

[Dids]

I used to believe that if you lived to be 100 you would die on your 100th b-day. I had a very vivid perception of 100th b-days as these weird happy/sad wake events.

[Five-Star]

That those stupid "Woman gives birth to vampire baby"-"God shows himself for chess match"-"black and white tabloids were real. Very young at that time.

[Alobar]

When I was like 6 all the skin on my friends palm was peeling, and I asked him what happened, he said it was from honking the horn on the car. The horn on our car was this round metal plate in the middle of the wheel about the size of a palm, so I theorized that it must have some kind of electric current or was really hot or something, and it blistered your palm when you honked the horn. I believed this until I was like 13 or some way to old age where I should have realized how retarded that was.

[Vyse]

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-god
-santa

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[amplify]

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That black people's poop was black and white people's poop was white.

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I hope you're black.

[Holybull]

No. But my avatar is.

[27offsuit]

I thought girls peed out of their but because they always had to squat.

[Bostaevski]

I used to think your feelings were these organs shaped like a kidney, wrinkly like a brain, and about the size of a racquetball. You had 2 of them and they were located inside your chest wall, sort of under your arms. My feelings never got hurt like other kids.

I also used to think that the "distance" was this tinfoil like stuff that covered the earth. It was because when I was maybe 2 or 3 we were on an airplane and my dad pointed out a mountain poking out of the clouds way off in "the distance". I didn't realize they were clouds... i thought it was a mountain poking up out of tin foil.

[MC Chris]

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I thought girls peed out of their but because they always had to squat.

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yeppppppp, i'm guilty of that one. i don't think i discovered the truth until 15 or so