The Official "Where's The Deck?" Post - including the worst beat ever

BitterChris · #1 07-02-2006, 01:08 AM

I've been sitting on this one a while. One thing I've never been wondering about in online poker is "where's the deck?" I know that it sounds silly, but seriously, even in rigged live games the poor sucker has a chance at winning the pot when he catches a hand.

Not so online: 3-1, 4-1, 10-1, 1000-1, they're all just figments of a good players imagination as pot after pot goes to the donks (who don't win anything either, as they just plow it back into the rake).

Can you imagine a player calling out to the dealer, "throw an ace up there, Johnny, or "Give me running diamonds", and he fans out the deck and starts riffling through the cards?

Just normal variance, you say? I guess it is useful as a cover story. In a a game like poker where it can take several years before you can truly know your win rate, it is also the perfect situation for a scam.

A man offers you 2-1 on a $10 coin flip and you accept, when you lose he offers you 4-1 on a $50 bet, when that goes sour he gives you 10-1 on $1000, and then, stuck for more than a grand, he makes a proposition that he will give you a 1000-1 on 10 grand, but if you lose, you will be blinded, deafened, and paralyzed, and live out the rest of your days in a room full of sweaty, flatulent men.

Just after your spinal cord is cut, but before your eardrums are punctured, you hear the hustler tell the doctor "what a sucker", as your last sight is a dozen 300 pound guys carrying large bags of Mexican takeout.

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em Tourney, Big Blind is t1600 (7 handed) Hand History Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: 2+2 Forums)

Button (t14086)
SB (t5393)
Our Bitter Hero (t15359)
UTG (t85168)
MP1 (t41977)
MP2 (t91653)
CO (t70504)

Preflop: Our Bitter Hero is BB with K[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img], K[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].
UTG calls t1600, 4 folds, SB raises to t5318 and is all-in, Our Bitter Hero raises to t15284 and is all-in, UTG folds.

SB has 6c Qd

Flop: (t22577) 3[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], K[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 3[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (2 players)

Drawing dead? Think again...

Turn: (t22577) 3[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] (2 players)

River: (t22577) 3[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] (2 players)

Final Pot: t22577

Results in white below: 
SB has 6c Qd (four of a kind, threes).
Our Bitter Hero has Kd Kh (four of a kind, threes).
Outcome: SB wins t11288.50. Our Bitter Hero wins t11288.50. 

- Bitterness is joy with a bad attitude

Josh. · #2 07-02-2006, 01:50 AM

philosophical question: is a bad beat really a bad beat if it costs you no money?

Woolygimp · #3 07-02-2006, 01:56 AM

Money not won is money lost.

-Sun Tzu and the Art of War

Etric · #4 07-02-2006, 02:06 AM

That was weak. When first saw the post, I just looked at the board and expected the villain to have Ax ftw... Q6 is a disappointment

DaveyDonk · #5 07-02-2006, 05:33 AM

Ax would be much less of a disappointment. While its true that Q6 really wasn't drawing "dead", the Ax hand would have a very small glimmer of hope that is obvious to the normal bystander. In this case, that is not the case.

Chris Daddy Cool · #6 07-02-2006, 05:52 AM

soooo you split a pot?

Clayton · #7 07-02-2006, 05:58 AM

tournament.

dont care.

Black winter day · #8 07-02-2006, 06:13 AM

Nice start to the post then i see a donkament hand which you didn't even lose.
Blah.

BitterChris · #9 07-02-2006, 11:38 AM

Ummm... I lost all but about two chips of his stack.

Anders · #10 07-02-2006, 11:53 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Ummm... I lost all but about two chips of his stack.

[/ QUOTE ]

but his stack wasn't even made of real money