An Obvious Guide to Relationships #1: Reprise of an old post

[diebitter]

mkay, I posted 'The Obvious Guide to Relationships' years ago in OOT here, but since there's so much interest in being a PUA, I thought it might be cool to reproduce it verbatim here, with links to the remainder of the series in OOT (sorry):




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This is the first in a series of posts to help you with relationships and sex. It's intended to be an obvious guide, so you shouldn't see anything groundbreaking here - it's just laying out the stuff you know but forget.

Link to #2: Finding Girls
Link to #3: One Night Stands
Link to #4: Dates and Making a Move
Link to #5: Sex and Sex Tips


1.1 Your Body

Your body is what the lucky girl's gonna get, but it's not perfect. It's gonna need work. Some things you can change reasonably easily, some you can change with drastic measures, some things you just can't change.

You have to learn to live with those you can't change and basically do not let such things undermine your confidence.

1.1.1 Negatives and how to handle them

1.1.1.1 Things you can change without drastic measures

Poor skin, being fat, bad teeth, smelling, bad breath, dandruff, spots

- Skin + being fat + smelling can be greatly improved with suitable exercise (1.1.3) and nutrition (1.1.4). You know that. Smelling might also involve trying different deoderants. If you really can't smell yourself, you need a good friend to let you know what is and isn't working.

Bad teeth + bad breath - dentist recommended, but for the bad breath, the minimum you should do is read up on it on the internet and figure out a DIY fix.

Dandruff - medicated shampoos!

Spots - exercise and diet can help, as can some sunshine. If we're talking spots on the body (like your back), try changing your sheets and shirts more often, or changing washing powder.


1.1.1.2 Things you can change with drastic measures

balding, penis size, big nose, being ugly, strong accent (except French/Italian/posh English, these are +EP), high voice

Balding - This sucks, but hiding it by comb overs, stupid spiking of what's left, wigs or whatever just says 'I'm going bald!'. Learn to live with it, and keep it short. You may find you're losing it now, and something like going to the gym is accelerating it (all the hair washing). What to do? Keep going to the gym. Buff + short cut >> slobby and balding anyway.

Let's put it this way, who is gonna get laid on appearance here:

or

Penis size - Okay, you can get surgery, but you'd be mad. Learn to live with it. As long as it gets hard, you can have great sex. You just have to really get a good handle on foreplay and related stuff (I'll cover this in a later section). Wondering how you really compare? Ignore what other guys say, the sizes are:

When fully erect:
small - < 4"
medium - 4" to 6"
large - 6" to 7.5"
extra large - > 7.5"

Yasher says that among his gay friends, thickness is also prized - vexvelour says the same, representing the girls.


PS. There has been research showing frequent masturbation increases penis size. I'm not kidding.


Big nose, being ugly - Surgery if you really must, but the important thing is DO NOT LET THIS SHAKE YOUR CONFIDENCE - it really isn't that big a deal if you sell yourself right.

Strong Accents or High Voice - Accents don't matter that much if you're still where you were raised, but do come into play when you move. Just try to tone it down ALL THE TIME. You'll soon develop it as a habit rather than a strain. You can similarly lower your voice by developing the habit of speaking lower. Both of these are quite intense and hard-going, so you need to really commit if you want to do it. Or, as Ron Burgundy pointed out, unattractive accents can be fixed by hiring a speech coach. Actors do this all the time.



1.1.1.3 Things you can't change

Being short (< 5"9'), pale complexion - too bad. DO NOT LET THIS SHAKE YOUR CONFIDENCE, is the important point.


1.1.2 Positives

All of these are gonna help with women, and if some are you, you've got a head start.

Good teeth, good hair, being buff, soft accent or Italian/French/posh English accent, strikingly-coloured eyes (blue or green are good), low firm voice, being tall (>= 5"9'), being famous, being rich.

Buff is probably the only one of these acheivable by anyone, so aim here first. Rich is always a reasonable goal. Money isn't a bad way to score yourself at the game of life. You can also work at softening your accent and lowering/firming your voice, but that's hard going, and needs commitment.


1.1.3 Exercise and Body Care

1.1.3.1 Exercise Regimen

If we're talking about getting girls, you want exercise that broadens the shoulders, tightens the stomach, and muscles up the butt and legs. Weights combined with suitable aerobic exercise (running, cycling, rowing) is good. Swimming is even better, cos it just does it in all the right places. Not only will your body look good, but clothes will hang really well on you.


1.1.3.2 Nails
Keep them well-trimmed at all times. And clean.

1.1.3.3 Monobrow
Unless it's really part of your look, might wanna remove ithe stuff above your nose.

1.1.3.4 Feet
Take care of them please - horrid feet make girlies not too happy.

1.1.4 Diet

NEVER be seen to be calorie conscious. This is really only okay for the ladies, but is massively wussy for guys. Be seen to be health conscious. Having said that, diet away from dates/girls, but don't be afraid to eat on dates. You can still be healthy - but don't make a booboo like turn down pudding when she's wanting a choccy treat. you say no, she'll feel a pig for having one, or a bit mean towards you if she feels she has to turn it down or look bad. Give the girl a break. Oh, and gamblore99 says studies show that men with large appetites are seen as more attractive.

With diets, don't do it as a short-term fad thing, try and develop good eating as a habit. It takes 30 days for a deliberate action/behaviour to become a habit - so work at it for 30 days, and then you'll have developed a great habit for life!

One addenda to diets, kindly provided by Ron Burgundy: Appearing nutrition conscious really depends on the area you're in. If you like to pickup chicks at Whole Foods market (if you're into the Lisa Loeb type), it's a definite plus.

1.1.5 Clothing
Simple, smartish, not too colourful but not too bland. No extremes, and no very adventurous. Make sure it's clean and well-pressed. Jewellery - no.

And a silver-braceleted watch goes with anything.

For a better overview of clothing (and general appearance), See this excellent post by GambleGamble , and check the rest of the thread too.


1.2 Your Personality

Your body is the goodies, but your personality is your sales. The best product in the world can fall over with bad salesmanship. So your personality is vitally important. Rememeber this: you don't have to be attractive, you have to appear attractive. Personality does this.

Now, I'm not advocating being false, but there are things you can do to be more effective with the opposite sex, and less effective with the opposite sex. Below is the list, and you need to work out how to use your own personality to bring out the more effective items on this list. Be yourself, but be the best bits of yourself.


1.2.1 Personality traits effective with the ladies

1.2.1.1 CONFIDENCE

You must be confident. Always. Either decide or speak confidently, or shrug confidently, or say nothing confidently. Don't hunch over, don't walk uncertainly. Stride like a man, hold them shoulders back and chin up. Talk firmly and clearly, and make decisions firmly. Don't pussy about.

Here's a pictoral representation:

Think of yourself like this:


then you might end up like this:


Instead of being like this:



1.2.1.2 CONFIDENCE
I'm making a point

1.2.1.3 CONFIDENCE
Got it?

1.2.1.4 Add a little charm
Be playful, be teasing, be cool. If she starts asking you stuff and you're tongue-tied answer in short, mysterious phrases.

Example:
Her: You're not saying much.
You: er, well, I guess that there's not much...er...to say

NO!

It should be:
You (smile a cool little smile): I know.

I could give examples all night, but I won't. You figure it out.

1.2.1.5 A tiny touch of sensitivity
Less is more here. 30 seconds of saying something sensitive just once is good. Show passion about something delicate and sweet and touching - children, dogs, anything she's mentioned she loves/likes. 30 minutes is horse [censored].

1.2.1.6 A tinge of vulnerability
See the previous item. Less is more even more so here. Don't it if you can't do it though. This must always be implied too, never explicitly stated. (You need shooting if you say 'I'm a vulnerable guy' or similar). Excellent work if she tells you you're a vulnerable guy though.

1.2.1.7 Compliment
This is controversial - some say NEVER compliment. That's fine for beginner advice, but if the mood strikes, a single compliment delivered at the perfect time in the perfect way, and passed over like it never happened will make a girl warm to you from her rosy cheeks down to her ovaries. Warmed-up ovaries will make your job sooo much easier.

1.2.1.8 MANNERS

These are incredibly important. Blarg covers them here at length , but I'll mention the salient points; manners cost nothing and definitely improve the effect you have on others, particularly when absent. Don't forget your 'please' and 'thankyou'. Try and keep good posture, eat without noise or opening your trap while chewing, don't talk with your mouth full, and generally be aware of the effect you may be having on others while eating and elsewhere.

1.2.1.9 CONFIDENCE
I'm pushing it. But here's a word on the subject from the master, Dr Dom, on when not to be a gentleman.


1.2.2 Personality Traits that are Turn-offs for normal girls

1.2.2.1 Lacking confidence, obviously. Dithering, umming, not being decisive, being timid or scared. BAD!

1.2.2.2 Whining - if you start badmouthing something, make sure you don't go into a whiny voice

1.2.2.3 Moody or down - go mope alone, ya dope. you don't deserve a shot.



There you go, it's a quick and obvious runthrough, but hope it helps someone. Please post suggestions, additions, especially if you have fuller points to make (say you can suggest more detailed diet advice, for example). Anything that sounds good. Also feel free to link any past advice/posts that may be useful for this specific topic.

So ends the first lesson.

[Conspire]

[ QUOTE ]
PS. There has been research showing frequent masturbation increases penis size. I'm not kidding.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well that is always good news, especially for BBV.

[KidNotor]

"PS. There has been research showing frequent masturbation increases penis size. I'm not kidding."


everyone wins

[its_just_me]

[ ] funny
[x] OOT trash
[ ] chloroform
[x] animals havin sexy time
[ ] midgets

[samsdmf]

An insult is better than a compliment if your pure skillz

This is a good thread idea actually, we should make a series- first date, second date, when to move in for the seks, moving from female friend to partner, ending relationships..... all pretty important (and amazingly simple) things that a bunch of people here would benefit from.

A quick note on jewelery/clothing more directed for late teens 20s I guess.

Jewelery it is fine- wear as much as you want, as long as its unique and original. Nothing is more lame than the everyday ring, necklace or earings- but if you can get stuff that stands out from the crowd this is a hudge +.

If you are in doubt about clothing/ accessories ask a woman, be it a friend, family member or ever someone working in a shop.

Worth remembering that you must always keep to colour scheme; got brown shoes? then wear a brown belt and watch (although as mentioned a silver one will go perfectly).

Dressing up isnt always good, but always make it look like you have made an effort. For a date overdressing is just as bad as under- women will feel often uncomfortable if they are in smart casuals and you are in a 3 piece suit- jeans with nice shoes and a shirt are pretty much spot on for a first date (unless you are planning on going somewhere more upmarket, if so you should tell your date prior to dress up); be smart but understated.

[bigt2k4]

I remember reading this in OOT

[samsdmf]

[ QUOTE ]
I remember reading this in OOT

[/ QUOTE ]

This be a big beat

[joeblack]

OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls

[samsdmf]

[ QUOTE ]
OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls OOT sucks b@lls

[/ QUOTE ]

If i quote this will it put amusing email tags everywehre

[RunyonAve]

All my emails to balls keep getting sent back.