Worst beating off experience

[ZOMG_RIGGED!]

[ QUOTE ]
And this is a bad experience because...?

[/ QUOTE ]

Because he said only a little hit him. Obviously a Brag if he gives himself a full facial

[Smell The Glove]

oh i've got a good one. when i was in college i beat off and then went to a job interview with my fly still open. i didn't realize it until i got home.

[Ihavenoavatar]

Ok these stories are all pretty funny but one thing....most of them involve pr0n and all I want to know is what happened to the spank bank? Are your imaginations or memories of being with an actual female vivid enough?

[Smell The Glove]

[ QUOTE ]
Ok these stories are all pretty funny but one thing....most of them involve pr0n and all I want to know is what happened to the spank bank? Are your imaginations or memories of being with an actual female vivid enough?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know you but you're a hater.

[Paulie Walnuts]

[ QUOTE ]
Ok these stories are all pretty funny but one thing....most of them involve pr0n and all I want to know is what happened to the spank bank? Are your imaginations or memories of being with an actual female vivid enough?

[/ QUOTE ]

Is this oppsed to boning your blow up doll? Personally if I have the opportunity to wank it to some porno i use it. I have a short attention span so if i have no visual aid id just get bored and bust a quick one. with the pr0n i can cherish every stroke and than it increases my chances of shooting a huge load that might strike me in the dome if im lucky. If not itll just settle in my cupped around the dick hand and i sorta toss it in the toilet before it dissolves and drips all over the carpet than my dog might lick it uop if hes around than maybe lick my face later on so i guess either way it makes it on my face

[Triumph36]

[ QUOTE ]
Ok these stories are all pretty funny but one thing....most of them involve pr0n and all I want to know is what happened to the spank bank? Are your imaginations or memories of being with an actual female vivid enough?

[/ QUOTE ]

the spank bank exists, but most embarassing situations are going to arise with porn - spank bank takes way longer ime, can't really use it on the job or when parents are about to get home

[killsadie]

i walked into my friends place one time, go up to his room and knock on his door. he yells "DONT OPEN, IM MASTURBATING!!" so i obv burst in calling his fib. there he is no pants on, fully going at it. sees me and raises both his arms in the air like the police just busted in his room and just goes "ya caught me!" i literally had tears in my eyes it was so funny.

[jackflashdrive]

I was on a transatlantic flight and some barely legal hottie was sitting a bit in front of me and across the aisle. Coach airline seat way too small for me and my boner -- one of us had to go. But I want a neked body to go with her cute face so I pop my laptop open. Lights are off and everyone is sleeping, and I have a screen on my laptop that prevents anyone not viewing at a direct angle from seeing. I plug headphones in the headphone jack so nobody can hear and drag the volume all the way down. I just want 2 seconds of nakedity before I shoot into the bathroom sink.

I open the pron with my laptop open at like a 45 degree angle so that even I can just barely see it. I don't hear any sound so I know things are OK. However, I had opened the movie to the very beginning where there wasn't any sound for me to hear because this particular video is one of those 'let's drive around and pick up a real chick' movies where in the beginning it is all driving and no sexing. I raise the volume to a little below medium -- where I am certain nobody is gonna hear the sound coming out of my headphones. I don't hear any sound so I think wtf I don't need sound anyway it isn't worth the risk.

Then I click on a later point in the movie where I expect to find some titties and out of my computer speaks comes "yes yes [censored] me ya do it." I HAD PLUGGED MY HEADPHONES INTO THE MICROPHONE JACK!!?!!

Now, I had turned the volume up to about 25%, but my computer has pretty loud speakers and we are on a dead-silent plane so everyone within about ten seats heard me and there were two kids sleeping behind me. THIS IS NOT THE WORST PART!

I immediately close the vid window but there is a delay of like 5 seconds before media player actually closes. This was the longest 5 seconds of my life -- the woman beside me who was sleeping with one of those eye-shields over her face TOOK THE EYE SHIELD OFF and gave me a look of utter disgust. The sexy girls mother leaned way across her daughter to get a look at wear the sex was coming from and glared back at me. Then, staring right at me, she pressed the 'call' button to bring the flight attendant back.

So I see the flight attendant walking back towards us and I know I am about to be arrested or something and end up on the news. Just then, thank god, a miracle happens that completely saves me from utter embarrassment.

I hear a weird noise come from my side of the plane -- it sounded like someone hitting the bottom of a tin can three times -- clank, clank, clank. The captain immediately and simultaneously puts on the fasten seatbelt sign and announces that flight attendants should take their seats.

The mother gives me one more really dirty look for good measure and then looks forward again.

The plane begins losing altitude for about thirty seconds -- it feels like slowly descending in an elevator. Then, all of a sudden, the plane drops like a damn stone. We crash in the Atlantic and -- long story short -- the only two people who survive are me and the hot chicks mother. I have to wait with her in a raft for about four hours with her as she cries about her dead daughter. Although she didn't say anything, and didn't mention the porn video to authorities when they picked us up.

[killsadie]

you seriously wrote all that?

[Paulie Walnuts]

[ QUOTE ]
i walked into my friends place one time, go up to his room and knock on his door. he yells "DONT OPEN, IM MASTURBATING!!" so i obv burst in calling his fib. there he is no pants on, fully going at it. sees me and raises both his arms in the air like the police just busted in his room and just goes "ya caught me!" i literally had tears in my eyes it was so funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

reminds me one time I caught a friend wackin it. Drove over to my boy Mark's house to smoke a bowl. knocked on his window and hes like WHO IS IT in a really nasty tone, im like me bro hes like hold on I peek through the blinds and hes wankin it like a champ looked like Balboa trainin for a fight sweat on his brow and all that [censored] I was like dude WTF you wackin off hurry up i aint gonna stand out here all day. he then gets really pissed off comes out the front door and bucks up like he wants to kick my ass. I was high and in a chill mood and he looked really pissed off so I just hopped in my car and drove off and he threw a rock and hit my back windshield. Weird thing was we bussed tables at a restaurant together and didnt speak for about a month. One day he just came up and apologized and we were cool again. Needless to say some people get really mad when they get interrupted right before they cum.