Love-life - Girl probably on the rebound - What to do?

[goofyballer]

Write her a letter, for sure.

[THEOSU]

siihp imo

[Droogie]

I've read it all but:

Cliff notes : Met girl at party. Dated, she seems very interested, but reserved because of recent relationship. Put pressure on, or wait till she's ready?

This seems to be your opinion instead of fact to me.

Your problem is that, from the timetable you gave us, you took more than 8 hours (dude wtf?!) to just kiss her. And when you finally did she was drunk.

Here is my version:
You were put in the friends area because you weren't sexually agressive enough. The morning after you kissed her she probably woke up with a hangover and thought to herself: "Ehm did we kiss, but he was on my friends list... OMG I must text him that it wasn't the right signal".

Of course you should have picked up the phone and called her after such a text. But that would take balls, and no offense, you seem to lack these and instead you failed to take the role of agressor *again*.

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And it's not going to be awkward being around her. I'm not in love (yet..), and will easily get over this if she definitely doesn't want it to get any further, so I won't have any problems being close friends with her. In fact, that would be great too! But yeah, if I take your "give me a call when you're ready" route, it could get uncomfortable being just friends....and it's a route I'm tempted to take.

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I just threw up a little in my mouth when I read this. Sorry this is just an excuse you are giving yourself to not make a step forward.

Next time you're alone with her just tell her you want to be more than friends and if she doesn't want that you rather not see her again.

[garcia1000]

BTW OP do you work in sales? I think you would have great potential as a salesman.

[ScandieManiac]

[ QUOTE ]
I've read it all but:

Cliff notes : Met girl at party. Dated, she seems very interested, but reserved because of recent relationship. Put pressure on, or wait till she's ready?

This seems to be your opinion instead of fact to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, yeah, it is just my opinion, and it might not be fact, but it's a read that fits well with how she acts, and with how her previous relationship was (she has told me very very little about this, but I've got close friends in her class, who have talked to her about it)

[ QUOTE ]
Your problem is that, from the timetable you gave us, you took more than 8 hours (dude wtf?!) to just kiss her. And when you finally did she was drunk.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not entirely correct, but you've got a point. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] I somehow failed to mention this in my OP, but I did get a short kiss after our first date.

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Here is my version:
You were put in the friends area because you weren't sexually agressive enough. The morning after you kissed her she probably woke up with a hangover and thought to herself: "Ehm did we kiss, but he was on my friends list... OMG I must text him that it wasn't the right signal".

[/ QUOTE ]

She sent me that SMS after our second drunken kiss. After our first (semi-)drunken kiss, she asked ME out. When she sent me that SMS, it seemed more like she was thinking "I'm letting this go further than what I'm ready for...I probably need to tell him". I translated the SMS in my OP, but her words in that message isn't easily translated into english... The main thing in the message was "I'm not ready for a relationship YET" ("yet" being the keyword). But yeah, I haven't been very sexually aggressive... I'm too nice....it's my curse. When we first met, it was at a party, and I am as I said no good at closing when I'm drinking. And when I learned that she had just finished a long-term relationship, I thought to myself that I needed to go slow, to not scare her away entirely.

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Of course you should have picked up the phone and called her after such a text. But that would take balls, and no offense, you seem to lack these and instead you failed to take the role of agressor *again*.

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No offense taken! I know this... [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

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BTW OP do you work in sales? I think you would have great potential as a salesman.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ummm...not sure how to respond, because I'm too confused! Huh? Why do you ask? No, I don't, but are you hiring?

[Droogie]

Women talk a lot. Ignore anything ambigious they say and act on what they *do* instead.

[ QUOTE ]
Well, yeah, it is just my opinion, and it might not be fact, but it's a read that fits well with how she acts, and with how her previous relationship was (she has told me very very little about this, but I've got close friends in her class, who have talked to her about it)

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Why do you care?

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The main thing in the message was "I'm not ready for a relationship YET" ("yet" being the keyword).

[/ QUOTE ]

I interpret that as "I am not sure I want to go into a relationship with you, I think I can do better, but I might just keep you around for my own entertainment until I do find someone I want to go into a relationship with".

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I thought to myself that I needed to go slow, to not scare her away entirely.

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Focus on your own feelings instead of hers. Stop being a nice guy, nice guys finish last. It's a cliche but it's a valid cliche nonetheless.

If you gonna keep fiddling your thumbs like this you are gonna end up disappointed with a lot of time wasted. I don't have enough knowledge of you, the girl and the situation to give an educated guess on whether or not this situation is salvageable but I think it will be very hard.

[garcia1000]

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But yeah, I haven't been very sexually aggressive... I'm too nice....it's my curse.

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This begs for a FYP. Anyone?!

[ScandieManiac]

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But yeah, I haven't been very sexually aggressive... I'm too nice....it's my curse.

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This begs for a FYP. I suck at creativity. Anyone else?!

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FYP

[Nemesis69]

TL, but I DID read. So euhm are there any pics?

[botulism]

1. The best advice is this thread is to ignore her girls hate that sh*t. Ignore her for a while and as soon as you open up to her again she'll be all over you.
2. Stop throwing around this word "love" its making me sick.
3. Pics FTW