Your favorite post of all time

[Chump Change]

Ama's post in the eezespearfish thread. Brilliant encapsulation of an epic thread.

[crfergu]

One of KKF's Best:

[ QUOTE ]
its my senior year and school just got back in session.



i wake up in one of the periods, second or third, i couldnt remember which subject it even was until i heard the teacher mr. harrison running his fat mouth about how we students need to work harder studying and need to stop screwing around or we will end up in downward spiral in a sewer eating dog food for dinner. you know that pep talk teachers give you. they pretend they care about you, but really, the only reason they teach is for power.




its a math class that i flunked last year due to absenses. i spent the entire summer 12 tabling SNG's on party and i was up all night playing until 6 am when i caught the school bus. i slept all through the class so far.



one of the jock rejects in the back says something to harrison like: Why do we need math in the real world.



to not get all-in with TT in EP on the bubble of a MTT I say a little too loudly.




harrison gets pissed that i interrupted him and wants to know what the hell im talking about. i say that i am a pro poker player and i am trying to give him a hand helping these donkeys understand math better.



he basically tells me to stfu. he says poker is a great way to become a degenerate. he says its a sinful and motions to the jesus on his desk. he says that if ive gotten lucky i outta put that money in a mutual fund and save it for my future.



i cant take anymore. lucky?, i say. i make more in a hour then you do in a week you min-wage 40-hour Clown.

he is a little pissed off and tells me to watch it. he says something about anyone can get lucky.



I mutter, over 70K hands? Keep dreaming Grandpa.



I take a deck of cards from my jean pocket and put it on my desk. You want some of this bitch?, I say.



He goes mad at that, and tells me to get out of his classroom. At this point my future is written. Im done with high school. I pick up my backpack and empty it on the floor. I knock over a row of books on my way out the door. I know that i wont be coming back to that class or any class.



I jump over the fence to avoid the min-wage affro security guard whose always stoned I jog home hoping to catch the next $100 MTT Nl Holdem on party.

i was born in the wind, and will die in the wind.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ebepse]

[ QUOTE ]
One of KKF's Best:

[ QUOTE ]
its my senior year and school just got back in session.



i wake up in one of the periods, second or third, i couldnt remember which subject it even was until i heard the teacher mr. harrison running his fat mouth about how we students need to work harder studying and need to stop screwing around or we will end up in downward spiral in a sewer eating dog food for dinner. you know that pep talk teachers give you. they pretend they care about you, but really, the only reason they teach is for power.




its a math class that i flunked last year due to absenses. i spent the entire summer 12 tabling SNG's on party and i was up all night playing until 6 am when i caught the school bus. i slept all through the class so far.



one of the jock rejects in the back says something to harrison like: Why do we need math in the real world.



to not get all-in with TT in EP on the bubble of a MTT I say a little too loudly.




harrison gets pissed that i interrupted him and wants to know what the hell im talking about. i say that i am a pro poker player and i am trying to give him a hand helping these donkeys understand math better.



he basically tells me to stfu. he says poker is a great way to become a degenerate. he says its a sinful and motions to the jesus on his desk. he says that if ive gotten lucky i outta put that money in a mutual fund and save it for my future.



i cant take anymore. lucky?, i say. i make more in a hour then you do in a week you min-wage 40-hour Clown.

he is a little pissed off and tells me to watch it. he says something about anyone can get lucky.



I mutter, over 70K hands? Keep dreaming Grandpa.



I take a deck of cards from my jean pocket and put it on my desk. You want some of this bitch?, I say.



He goes mad at that, and tells me to get out of his classroom. At this point my future is written. Im done with high school. I pick up my backpack and empty it on the floor. I knock over a row of books on my way out the door. I know that i wont be coming back to that class or any class.



I jump over the fence to avoid the min-wage affro security guard whose always stoned I jog home hoping to catch the next $100 MTT Nl Holdem on party.

i was born in the wind, and will die in the wind.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]


oh yeah this was awesome. who posted it? I forget

[crfergu]

Kane Kung Fu on one of his gimmicks.

[mbillie1]

the KKF post about limit hold'em was pretty awesome, also the one about copping a feel in the elevator. other favorites are the "roommate from hell", "ultimate butterface-off", "where does sammy farha's money come from", the bastard thread, and this:

Things about poker I never knew until I started playing FTP

[ QUOTE ]
1. Ax, Kx > AK, where x does not = A or K

2. Underpair > Overpair

3. Getting in with AA preflop = -EV

4. To calculate your odds of winning when getting it in on the flop as a coinflip, take your odds of winning (50%) and subtract your opponents odds (50%). 50 - 50 = 0%. yay!

5. To calulate your opponents odds of winning when getting it in on the flop as a coinflop, take their odds of winning (50%) and add your odds of winning (50%). 50 + 50 = 100%. yay!

6. Gutshots are the nuts, value push/call them on the flop and turn.

7. Your odds of someone else being dealt AA when you have KK = ~ 1 in 4.5.

8. Top set is approximately 65% to win on the flop versus bottom set.

9. Flush draws are teh nuts. Do not fold them. Ever. If I am in the pot.

10. Poker is not fun. At all.


GODDAMNIT when Party shut down I decided I would buy into one more site, and I picked this godforaksen fjangf site over Doyles room, which come to find out later was the fishiest site ever apparently, gjoidsaijf;dsaf goddamnit I want to cut out FTP heart with a spoooon.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Quicksilvre]

Oh yes, I remember this one. That might be the thread that made me realize the caliber of most 2+2ers.

[T-God]

I like the daniel robot ones

[toss]

[ QUOTE ]
One of KKF's Best:

[ QUOTE ]
its my senior year and school just got back in session.



i wake up in one of the periods, second or third, i couldnt remember which subject it even was until i heard the teacher mr. harrison running his fat mouth about how we students need to work harder studying and need to stop screwing around or we will end up in downward spiral in a sewer eating dog food for dinner. you know that pep talk teachers give you. they pretend they care about you, but really, the only reason they teach is for power.




its a math class that i flunked last year due to absenses. i spent the entire summer 12 tabling SNG's on party and i was up all night playing until 6 am when i caught the school bus. i slept all through the class so far.



one of the jock rejects in the back says something to harrison like: Why do we need math in the real world.



to not get all-in with TT in EP on the bubble of a MTT I say a little too loudly.




harrison gets pissed that i interrupted him and wants to know what the hell im talking about. i say that i am a pro poker player and i am trying to give him a hand helping these donkeys understand math better.



he basically tells me to stfu. he says poker is a great way to become a degenerate. he says its a sinful and motions to the jesus on his desk. he says that if ive gotten lucky i outta put that money in a mutual fund and save it for my future.



i cant take anymore. lucky?, i say. i make more in a hour then you do in a week you min-wage 40-hour Clown.

he is a little pissed off and tells me to watch it. he says something about anyone can get lucky.



I mutter, over 70K hands? Keep dreaming Grandpa.



I take a deck of cards from my jean pocket and put it on my desk. You want some of this bitch?, I say.



He goes mad at that, and tells me to get out of his classroom. At this point my future is written. Im done with high school. I pick up my backpack and empty it on the floor. I knock over a row of books on my way out the door. I know that i wont be coming back to that class or any class.



I jump over the fence to avoid the min-wage affro security guard whose always stoned I jog home hoping to catch the next $100 MTT Nl Holdem on party.

i was born in the wind, and will die in the wind.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

This might be the greatest post ever.

[demon102]

I like the recent starwars mspaint thread, that was a very funny thread.

[inside??]

Commodus and the 3 things I want to do in college.