What are you proud of as an American?

[2/325Falcon]

Why I'm proud of America by 2/325Falcon.

Why am I proud of America? Because we're the best at everything in the world. Ever. Everyone in the world wants to learn English and no one wants to speak Scandinerdian. Know why? 'Cause America rules and Europe drools! You are the ones who are the ball lickers. That's why.

America has invented every good thing that's ever been. Karate and drum solos and T-bone steaks are all American inventions. Chocolate and titties and Space Invaders? That's right, they're all from America. We invented dogs and beer and chess because we're better than the rest of you.

America is the land of the free and the home of the Whopper. If you want fat bitches at the opera try some other country. You foreign poopyheads can go eat at Bjørn's House of Fishsticks and choke on it while I dine on one of America's greatest invented foods: pizza.

In short, I say to you: U S A ! U S A ! U S A ! and go [censored] yourselves.

Sincerely,

2/325Falcon™.