Beat: My Life

[john voight]

yoyowhoawhao why the eff are you telling depressed ppl to smoke weed?

[dogdrool]

I only read the first post and a few that follow.

Lurker, don't do it. You're depressed and will feel better if you receive help. Depression is not "oh, I'm a little bummed out today." Depression is a complex state of mind that is caused by many factors, including chemical and physical reactions inside your brain.

With a little bit of help, you'll feel a lot better and go on living an amazing life.

Don't do it.

[boomshakalaka]

Post deleted by boomshakalaka

[React1oN]

[ QUOTE ]
I hate when people open with "my thoughts and prayers are with ..."

yada yada blah blah meow cheow. Not trying to be a dick, its just something that always irks me for some reason.

[/ QUOTE ]I understand, but this really isn't the thread for this.

[MurphNKY]

[ QUOTE ]
I hate when people open with "my thoughts and prayers are with ..."

yada yada blah blah meow cheow. Not trying to be a dick, its just something that always irks me for some reason.

[/ QUOTE ]

So weak, I mean..seriously..again, who says this in a thread like this?

Hey assclown, as others have stated..this was, for something of this medium, exceptionally moving and touching to see so many come to the aid of this young man. So, I will be thinking and hoping he's ok..and, as a Catholic, my prayers will be with him.

Get the f over yourself and take it elsewhere. No one cares about some random senseless thought you have.

[boomshakalaka]

yah, too late cuz its quoted I guess, but I deleted. Sorry dont know what I was thinking. Didnt mean to be that guy.

[React1oN]

I tried to edit my post to delete it, but it's being weird. Being that you realize there's no reason for it to stay quoted.

[Jazzy3113]

I also wont go into details about my experience with depression because it puts me in a bad mood to think about it and truth be told i think i will always feel like there is a gloomy overcast surrounding me (but it lifts for a few minutes every time I crack aces).

I have chosen not to take medication and talking with therapists has never helped me. Maybe because I majored in pysch I kinda knew what the talks entailed and I would always give answers I knew they wanted to hear without seeming insincere.

As far as wanting to kill myself, I of course thought about it but could never act on it. Sometimes when a depression wave hits me I will think about it. My dad lost his other brother to an accident in India when his brother was 18. He said it was the most painful thing in his life, and my Grandparents still cannot talk about it. I could never do that to the only people who could love me unconditionally. I can see in your post you mentioned that hurting your father would be the one thing you regretted and I whole heartedly agree with you.

As I mentioned before of all the available options for depression I only use a few suggestions. Medicine is there but I don't use it for a few reasons. One, if you study psychiatry you'll realize that this is still a relatively young field in medicine and the medicine have certainly not been perfected. There are many choices, you have to adjust dosages, and they sometimes take weeks to take effect. It is also hard to measure their effectiveness and I know friends who have had to switch suddenly because one type stopped working. I am afraid that there are simply not enough long term trials to tell us if taking these pills could have severe negative consequences in the long term.
Another popular method is talking. I feel like the fact that the doc gets paid to talk with me makes him not really invested in me, so it feels superficial. Also, I knew how to act in different stages of Type I and II depression and it was like a game to me. I also did not like talking about it with my folks, who initially thought I was just being lazy.

However, I find exercise helps me the best. I have also read a few articles on how the endorphins can mimic what some antidepressants do. It will be difficult at first if you are not active, but try to run or swim a few times a week. It can really help. Also, writing helps me a lot. When you are depressed you have conflicting emotions. You want someone to talk to, but you do not want to make the effort to find someone. One minute you want to tell everyone your hurting and the next minute you want to be alone. Writing helped me because it was like a running dialogue. I would look back at what I wrote and be like Jesus, this kid is a pussy, snap out of it. Also, you don’t feel like a hypocrite. I felt ashamed or confused that I wanted to hurt myself and be alone, but I also wanted to tell someone about it. Finally, try to set a goal and work towards it. Graduation, a promotion, completing a marathon, etc. It gives you something to work towards and look forward to.

At first, these suggestions may seem trivial and even obvious. Exercise, talking, setting goals and in fact they are. But what is life but a series of trivial moments that build into larger, over reaching moments. Find what works for you. But my best suggestion is exercise and spending time with your family.
Reading this post it seems that you are charismatic and have forged real feelings for people who have never even seen you in real life. It is such a commonly used phrase but I want to use it again: You are so freakin young, you can do whatever you want.

Now just a few caveats. Depression is real and I believe that its onset is caused by genetics, chemical imbalance in the brain, and environmental factors. Each factor can play a large or small role but they each are a factor. I do not know your situation, but maybe college life is tough for you, maybe its in your blood or maybe your neurotransmitter reuptake is a little off. Either way, there are some things you should try to avoid, even though the easy road is to engage in them.

Don’t spend all your time on the net. Its addictive, fun, and easy but it is very socially isolating and also unhealthy. An AIM convo is not a real conversation. Sitting for long periods of time and not being physical wreaks havoc on your body.

Please try to avoid gambling. I know that seems like a ridiculous statement coming from a kid who likes to gamble and is posting on a poker forum, but there it is. I know I should avoid poker and sport betting for awhile and I have cut back significantly but it takes time. The psychological swings of betting simply exacerbate your depressive feelings. I feel the “moneymaker” effect is going to have tremendous positive long term effects on casinos’ bottom lines, but also disastrous effects for many people out there. I sometimes feel like poker was a gateway drug but that’s another topic.

Finally, avoid alcohol and drugs but especially drugs. Depressants are one thing, but avoid X, amphetamines, and similar substances as their effects can be very detrimental to someone in your psyche.

I do not think you were making a cry for help, but were serious. People who don’t suffer always seem to make that claim, but rather than signaling a plea for attention, asking for help is common for someone who is depressed. BBV4lifed save a life, at least for one day.
Good Luck Lurker.

[knowledgeORbust]

Excellent post Jazzy, thanks for that man.

GL Lurker, I know what depression is about, things will be better, don't let anyone knock ya.

[React1oN]

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Excellent post Jazzy, thanks for that man.



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