***SSNL LIFE THREAD [OCT]***

[ChoicestHops]

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Also, lol at americans for calling the French pussies because of their refusal to support the war in Iraq

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Doesn't the French president support the soon to be Iran invasion?

[bpc009]

Btw, he was talking about hockey. The pipe being the hockey term for goalpost.

[bpc009]

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Also, lol at americans for calling the French pussies because of their refusal to support the war in Iraq

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Doesn't the French president support the soon to be Iran invasion?

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What are you trying to say here? You are clearly connecting the war in Iraq with a potential war in Iran. There would be a connection, sure, but they way you're doing it seems strange. Clarify.

[stonescar]

So I'm back from Paris. Awesome town. Obv I missed my ex, we even planned a trip to Paris this fall at some point, but I think it was good to get away from it all, keeping myself occupied with other things. Ate so much good food, and the wine and coffee were excellent. Fell in love with cous cous, think I have to add that to my cooking repertoire (not too big atm). Mostly just wandered around in the streets, really good atmosphere in this town, ate and drank a lot, went to some concerts. I'll definately go back some day. Also went to the ACF one night (lal no poker content obv), but I only played for like an hour after waiting for 3 and then they broke up the table and put me on the waiting list again. I was like wtf, so I left. Lots of fish there, though. (I guess fish is pretty standard in live smallstakes games, but I'm not that used to casinoes).

Kind of weird going back to the normal everyday life, too much time to think about what I lost etc. emo obv. Also, my newly purchased Talisker was smashed to pieces when it fell out of my tax free bag, and I was really looking forward to drink away my sorrows with that one. I guess beats often comes in succession, so I wasn't too surprised when the train from Oslo to Trondheim broke down, causing almost 3 hours delay. Obv caught a cold on the train just to top it off.

Anyways, I'm still paying for my ex's internet sub (no biggie, she'll pay me back), but what's worse is that the NRK - the national broadcasting channel, wants me to pay for her TV in another city, even though she has started paying for it after I moved, and the TV is not even mine. They say it's too late to cancel because they [censored] up and didn't manage to send the first bill to my new adress, although I still don't even get why they think I'm supposed to pay in the first place. After I moved, one of their "agents" came to her door, and made a bill in her name for this tv, but without managing to comprehend that I obviously won't be using it or paying for it anymore. So now I'm supposed to pay for the rest of 2007, on top of what she's paying, in addition to a penalty for not paying the first bill I never got, AND I HATE TELEVISION. GG NRK. Commence life tilt.

Speaking of life tilt, somehow my ex and I are trying the friendship thing now, against ALL advice (even my own), and I think it's gonna suck for a long time. Every time we talk on the phone, I'm like - yay phone call with gf...wait a minute. She seems very settled with the fact that we're not together anymore, and I hate that. Still I can't even feel a hint of anger towards her, as she did tell me she broke down in tears once after I left, angry with herself that she didn't have feelings for me anymore. It sucks that she's so wonderful, makes it that much harder to let go. Bahhhh.

I'm kind of torn. Some times I cling to the hope that she'll come around, seeing as she still thinks highly of me, but I have a feeling she just wants to be my best friend forever, and have all that we had except for the nearness I need. Other times I just want to get away from it all, live the single life, have lots of sexytimes - but I think I would be pretty hard on myself, denying myself to feel good about it, because I know it would probably be mainly to rebuild my ego getting recognition from the ladies, even though that's probably a very normal reaction to have.

Still, I'm afraid that I will avoid getting intimate with other girls, because I have this silly idea of getting back together with my ex, and the thought of doing anything that could even possibly diminish my chances is unthinkable. I'm pretty sure this thought process isn't going to do me good. Maybe I should just keep my pants on for some time in respect of what we had, I sincerely don't know which impulses to listen too. I mean, I obv won't get into a relationship any time soon, but I don't know if seeking comfort with other girls is just natural and healthy for me or just stupid.

Sorry about the long post. Just 2 questions to wrap it up.
1. For the coming months: Monk style, or GA style?
2. Haven't come up yet, but sex with an ex is a bad idea (c/d)?

[TheChad]

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This year Im being the egg while all my friends are being sperm, and they are gonna bump into me all night.

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I'd be a little nervous about this. As drunk as I get, they'd bump me into a TV or something bad.

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Look up a pic of me in the pic thread. It would take a lot of force to do that.

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haha! they would find a way!

[Sciolist]

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Yeah, I'm supposed to hate them and all. When you are taught about the Vietnam war at school in America do you not get told about Dien Bein Phu or any of that?

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Or, like, the civil war? I don't get how France has a poor reputation in the US

[Cue-Ball 66]

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Sorry about the long post. Just 2 questions to wrap it up.
1. For the coming months: Monk style, or GA style?
2. Haven't come up yet, but sex with an ex is a bad idea (c/d)?

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Nice TR, I think I missed your earlier posts about this ex if you made them but it sounds like the situation sucks.

To be honest, it sounds to me like you're not even close to letting her go. You really need to. It's been said a million times and you said it yourself...being good friends right off the bat is NOT a good idea. NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT!!! I'm telling you, please don't do it. For your sake, for hers, for your friendships sake.

My first girlfriend I tried staying best friends with straight away (long distance too), and we talked on the phone almost every night for a few weeks. It went horribly, and eventually we stopped talking for months. Now, 3 years down the line...I talk to her on occasion and we're very close again...she even helped me through tough times in my last relationship.

My last relationship we tried it aswell (much closer proximity this time, both at the same college), but the whole time I was desperately trying to get back together with her. I spent so much time crying and telling her how much I still loved her...it was horrible. Looking back now I realise I probably didn't love her like I said I did, I was just [censored]-scared of being alone again. She was actually a pretty terrible girlfriend towards the end...not that I was perfect...but I digress...

Life got so much better for me when I just moved on...stopped spending time near her or with her and hung out with other groups of friends. Just try your best to hang out with mates as often as you can, make some new friends if you're in a position to do so... I started hanging out with my brother and his friends and it was amazingly good for me.

So in answer to your questions, just get out and have fun...I think you'll find if you do this and decrease contact with your ex (I know you don't want to but you have to - she'll understand, believe me) you'll find life much easier. You'll meet other girls and have a good time...if this leads to sexytimes, hooray, if it doesn't, hooray...it really doesn't matter.

The less time you spend with/talking to your ex, the more you'll see there's a lot of other awesome girls out there just waiting to be found...you never know where/how you'll find them.

Bottom line is you still love her and you need to stop. Any sex with her would set you back months. Don't.



EDIT:

P.S. This is all just rambling/ranting and speaking from the heart and from my own experiences. I don't want to come across as condescending and telling you what to do, but after reading through it reads a bit that way. Not my intention.

[stonescar]

I appreciate all kinds of input I can get, and I don't think you were being condescending fwiw. You are also right about a lot of things. I do still love her, and I'm well aware of it. We spent the last 5 years together and she ended it 11 days ago, so it's still pretty fresh and It'll probably take some time to get over anyhow. I just don't know if I want/should try to forget her as soon as possible and start seeing other girls right away. I'm just afraid of any possibility of regretting anything I do right now, and as you said, in addition to loving her I'm uncomfortable with being alone again. I have some really good friends that unfortunately lives spread out through the country, but I'm considering taking the trip to visit as many as possible as soon as I can.

Also because I know with myself that it would take a long time before I could bear the thought of her with another guy, I kind of feel like I should live by that, even though she'd probably have less problems with me seeing anyone else. IDK, I think I'll just try to make time pass and see what happens. I really don't think it's fair to myself thinking of regretting anything atm either, so I'll try not to let it control me completely. Part of me wants to seek comfort with girls and feels I deserve it, the other part feels it's unethcial and/or may cause regret. [censored] it.

[manupod]

Stone-

I'm going through a similar spot right now. GF and I mutually broke up at the beginning of August because of distance and immaturity issues. Didn't talk for a month or so, but once Sept started it was clear that I still wanted her and she was on the fence. I think I pushed too far, as evidenced by my last email from a couple days ago, asking her to call me if she wanted to talk/hear what I had to say or write me back and tell me no (that went unanswered btw).

I guess what I'm saying is that you can't change people the way you want to- you can't get things back to the way they were. The closest thing to that is taking time apart and then trying to be friends and then realizing that you want to start things again. But that's different- it's not getting BACK together, it's getting together again, under different circumstances and whatnot, and it's not something that you can force.

The toughest thing for me has been dealing with other girls in the time we've been broken up- when I'm drunk it's obviously easier, because I don't think about her as much, but I've started dating a couple girls and generally push them away because they want to be more intimate than I can handle at the moment, but every experience is good, IMO.

Another thing you mentioned was the fear of being alone, and for me and many, many others I suspect, that's the main reason for wanting to get back together. I like thinking of myself with someone else, it makes me feel good about my actions and decisions and forces me to be a better person knowing someone else cares about what I'm doing. But in reality, I need to be that person for myself and I've had such a history of long relationships that I haven't had much time on my own to cope with those feelings/emotions. I am terrified to be alone, to tell you the truth, because it's so much scarier than being with someone comfortable and familiar.


*Summary, I guess, because it was long: You need to make yourself happy by doing things you enjoy and things that take your mind off of her. Focus on being happy by yourself, alone, and not needing another person to validate your existence. Don't think about getting back together with her, since that'll never happen (if you do get back together down the road it'll be because things have changed, but you can't force them to change by talking/thinking about her now).

Hope this helps. PM me for my AIM if you ever want to talk or whatever.

[EMc]

cue,

same number of days I can ban you, but more than the number of days in a row we can lose 1-0. [censored] Jagr