GF wants to live together

DayTripping · #1 03-22-2007, 11:39 AM

My girlfriend and I have been doing the long distance thing for about 6 months now and everything has been going as well as can be expected. Pretty soon I'm going to be moving out to Vegas, which is where she lives. Last night we got to talking about whether or not we should move in together or whether I should get my own place. I'm leaning towards getting my own crib, while she has recently become more and more in favor of shacking up together. Last night we were talking about the benefits of living together, and all she kept saying was that it would be better for financial reasons. She was like, "Money is the big reason." For some reason it kinda ticked me off that all she was talking about was money and she was making no mention of actually wanting to live with me because she would, you know, enjoy living with me.

I say to her, "So you're saying the main reason you want to live with me is so you can save money?", to which she bluntly responds, "Yes."

I say "That's nice" and hang up on her. This morning I get a text message from her saying "Maybe it is best that we do not live together."

I guess my "I'm being used radar" kinda went off and I got pissed. I understand that living together would save both of us money and it is without a doubt an advantage, but when you're going out w/ someone and decide to move in with them money should not be the main reason you do it. You should do it because you enjoy that person's company so much that you want to basically be married to them without being married. Anybody agree with me on this one, or am I totally overreacting?

drexah · #2 03-22-2007, 11:43 AM

sounds like a bitch, she didn't call you back or anything/apologize? wtf?

if you talk to her and explain how you feel and she still says thats the main reason/doesnt apologize/doesnt at least state the fact she really likes you and wants to live with you because of how she feels about you, then i say F her.

also, i completely agree with you on the 'married but not married' point. i cant see myself wanting to live with a gf for any reason besides i want to share a home with her because i like her so much and always want to be with her.

barryc83 · #3 03-22-2007, 11:44 AM

[ QUOTE ]

I say "That's nice" and hang up on her.

[/ QUOTE ]

You [censored] woman.

jba · #4 03-22-2007, 11:44 AM

you are overreacting and she is being insensitive.

what was the deal before the last six months?

Quanah Parker · #5 03-22-2007, 11:45 AM

Read the other thread on GFs/wives.
Obviously, it will benefit her financially.
You've got 1% chance you're finances will improve, unless you have no plans on working, or paying rent.

If you're skeptical now, go with that feeling. It's a lot easier to decide to move in together later, than to try to move out once you're there.

Phresh · #6 03-22-2007, 11:46 AM

I think hanging up on her was pretty immature and unnecessary. A simple, "Uh, shouldn't your main reason be that you'd actually enjoy living with me?" would've sufficed. It seems pretty unlikely that she's using you if you're in a long distance relationship (unless you just met this chick off the internet and haven't met IRL yet). I really doubt her master plan was to string you along for 6 months until you move in with her in Vegas so she can save a few bucks.

wtf is the deal with you only knowing her for 6 months and being in NH and LV?

pergesu · #7 03-22-2007, 11:47 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I say "That's nice" and hang up on her

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh god. You're such a girl.

Despite that, you're thinking the right way at least. It's obvious that moving in together has far greater emotional than financial consequences, as fas as you're concerned. So tell her that. You want a girlfriend, not a roommate. If she needs to save money she can get a roommate.

I think you're completely justified in feeling the way you do, just handle it like a man.

pergesu · #8 03-22-2007, 11:49 AM

Also, it really sounds like she's just not as caring of a person as you would need. Sure it could be too early relationship-wise for her, but in that case she shouldn't be bringing it up. You seem like a dude who wants/needs a really warm, caring chick, and I don't think she'll do it for you.

punkass · #9 03-22-2007, 11:51 AM

Going from never seeing you for 6 months to seeing you 24/7 is a huge transition. I'd go with getting your own place. If in a year of actually having a not-long-distance girlfriend, you find yourself in a good relationship, then you guys can rethink living together.

Worst case scenario is moving in together, realizing both of you hate each other not, and have to either live with each other for a year, or break lease/find subleters/etc.

DayTripping · #10 03-22-2007, 11:53 AM

I actually know her from way back in college. We kinda kept in touch through email after graduation, and about a year ago she moved to Vegas. During one of my trips out there we got together and hooked up, and we've been together since then. I've had plans to move to Vegas since before we even got together, which is why I've been willing to do the long distance thing as a temporary deal until I get out there.

Maybe I was immature to hang up on her, although I didn't realize it was a womanly thing to do as others have said. I'm stubborn, I have a short temper, and when I'm mad I usually don't feel like talking so I just wanted to end the conversation immediately.