Some Stuff About PUA (very long)

[MaxPower]

There is no way to prove whether it is evolutionary or cultural, but the general idea is that women are attracted to men who have higher social value.

In the old days men in general had higher social value than women because women for the most part didn't have the same opportunities that they have today. So it wasn't that hard for a man to display higher social value.

I think it is pretty clear that social value has a lot to do with attraction. It is true in the animal world and every indication is that is has always been true among humans.

I think the idea of the neg is only supposed to apply to women with the most social value (usually those that have the most beauty). But regardless, I think the idea is that when a man subtlely communicates to the woman that he does not need her approval, that displays higher social value and is attractive to women.

I've read the Mystery Method book and while much of it doesn't apply to me, because I don't go to clubs and try to pick up young girls, the theory of attraction and social dynamics behind it is very interesting and brilliant in my opinion. The idea is that social dynamics and the working of attraction have not changed, the way in which these things manifest themselves have changed. The things that gave your grandfather high social value no longer give you high social value.

[snagglepuss]

anacardo wrote:
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...a funny, unique, interesting person who commands attention, pushes boundaries and stands out, then I respectfully suggest that I should be teaching these courses. I am unquestionably all these things..


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I get bored very quickly with most conversation in spite of my considerable skill with such things and I generally find it very difficult to approach strangers who are not obviously inviting.


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I have had a lot of social success for just the reasons described. I was one of the most popular kids in my high school, I had several college classes that basically ate out of my hand. I'm funny, unique, memorable, express myself well (contrary to what the above thoughtblob might lead you to believe), am not afraid to push people's boundaries, and have worked hard to instill in myself what Bison just called 'an attitude of trained fearlessness.'


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All my life complete strangers have randomly come up to me on campus, at parties, in various organizations, etc. to tell me that I don't know them but that they've heard of me and that they wanted to meet me because I rule. So forth.


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Dude, I'm fine with how I deal with women. For the last time, this isn't really about my dissatisfaction with anything. Once I was clueless, then that changed. Then I got fat, then that changed. Then I went crazy, and that's the 'Cardo many of you remember, but that's changed too. I'm fine. As I said earlier, my only real problem with girls atm is 'meeting one I like.'


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(in reply to: "i think it is very possible to be both successful with women and virtuous")----

Dude from where I'm sitting the overlap of that particular Venn diagram is very very thin, certainly for guys under 25.


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Dude I have sick convo skills, you have no idea. All I need is a primer. Give me one excuse to like you, lady, anything. Catch my eye and make yourself seem worth talking to for the love. Of. God.


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But don't assume I can't talk. I talk the [censored] out of people. It's just that most women, and most people in general, are terrible bores.



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seriously...

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i honestly believe your reading time would be much better spent with:

Narcissism: Denial of the True Self

Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

Narcissism and Character Transformation: The Psychology of Narcissistic Character Disorders

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[Anacardo]

Diablo,

Not exactly. Ima go ahead and chalk this down as yet another balance / synthesis thing.

To me manhood is about humble competence. Just to speak well, and act well, and think well, and live well, with sort of a Zen attitude towards yourself, never thinking anything particularly positive or negative about yourself at all, really. (I feel compelled to note that I am exhibiting nearly none of these qualities atm.)

Do I have an example in mind? Thank you for asking. I think 'Chair, otherwise known as FFK's boyfriend, is a pretty good example of what I'm talking about. He's chill, laid-back, a little self-deprecating but clearly doesn't sweat [censored] or take himself too seriously. He seems like he really appreciates his woman and doesn't look on her as the just reward of a lifetime of mad pimping or anything. I really admire all that stuff; to me that's better than any big-swinging-dick baller in the world.

[Anacardo]

That's nice, Chudster. I saw Olivia the other day; she's lookin' foooooooooooine.

[snagglepuss]

you are hopeless. i hope you are in therapy. i pity your family.

p.s. sick burn!

[El Diablo]

Cardo,

'Chair sounds like me and just about every normal dude I hang out with on a regular basis.

[guids]

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That's nice, Chudster. I saw Olivia the other day; she's lookin' foooooooooooine.

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On that note, snaggle is right on. You said a lot abotu how you have sick conversational skills. The simple fact is most people would rather not listen to some other stranger actually "talk". People want strangers to listen, and they want friends that they can go back and forth w/, but no one likes conversations unless you KNOW they like to have a conversation. good friends can have convos, strangers can not. Personally, I dont say too much, I listen, and I use people to learn about people, 99% of the time, Im genuinely interested in others, especially women, if for no other reason is that talking to someone is like reading a text book on how minds work.

[Anacardo]

Dude, LOL. I've spent this whole thread having to justify / defend myself and generally try to get across that this some new edition of EmoCardo spazzing out about his life problems. And you just ignore all of that out of hand so you can twist [censored].

[Anacardo]

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Cardo,

'Chair sounds like me and just about every normal dude I hang out with on a regular basis.

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Diablo,

I'm afraid I don't really see the resemblance.

[Anacardo]

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That's nice, Chudster. I saw Olivia the other day; she's lookin' foooooooooooine.

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On that note, snaggle is right on. You said a lot abotu how you have sick conversational skills. The simple fact is most people would rather not listen to some other stranger actually "talk". People want strangers to listen, and they want friends that they can go back and forth w/, but no one likes conversations unless you KNOW they like to have a conversation. good friends can have convos, strangers can not. Personally, I dont say too much, I listen, and I use people to learn about people, 99% of the time, Im genuinely interested in others, especially women, if for no other reason is that talking to someone is like reading a text book on how minds work.

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Okay I'm gonna address this.

I don't know quite how to describe this process, but I think some of you are gonna nod and say 'yeah, exactly' and others will have little idea of what I'm talking about.

I find interest in other people - girls, dudes, kids, milkmen, old fogies at the park, whatever - to be very difficult to consciously manufacture. For me it's like a light switch. I have to notice something to set me off - some detail that seems interesting, something I can comment on or point out or give me a fresh angle to approach them from. With that in hand I usually just start talking and everything works out fine. Without it I have nothing to say at all. It's a completely binary, on-off thing. It's like people are invisible to me unless I already know something specific about them.