I Dream of Patrik (w/ pics)

pennpal · #1 01-22-2007, 07:10 AM

I was inspired by eagleskickass' "Dream about 2p2" thread, so I figured I'd recount a recent dream I had about the poker world. This dream is 100% true.

The dream began with me, sitting on a septa bus, half asleep. I'm doing what I normally do on buses, trying to conceal the erection the vibrations are giving me, when I suddenly see a new excuse for my hard-on. You see, sitting across the bus from me is none other than PATRIK ANTONIUS!

I stare at him longingly, planning on "falling asleep" into his arms, when the bus comes to a grinding halt. The driver has only seconds to react before he's riddled with bullets, and a terrorist boards the bus. Women are screaming, babies are crying, and I've all but lost my erection. Then it happens-the dream of any poker player incarnate- I WAS PATRIK ANTONIUS. Don't ask me how it happened, but I was suddenly endowed with the powers of the poker gods at my disposal. It was magical. I/Patrik then walked to the front of the bus to calmly face my foe. It's hard to explain exactly how Patrik views the world, so I made this diagram to show you.

The terrorist looked at me with incredulity, then fired his pistol. A shot low - a jump high. A body shot - a quick duck. [censored] HELMUTH, I WAS DODGING BULLETS. Then I realized: I am Patrik Antonius. I know no fear.

I stopped dodging and watched him unload a cartoon capacity clip into my chest, the handgun sprouting bullets like an AK-47. Flinching a flinch that could seduce a thousand women, I looked down to see the bullets harmlessly turning to molten lead on my rock-hard abs. No more time for games. Smiling, I used my gun (?) to strike him in the chest, stopping his heart and saving the bus. And so ended the best dream I've ever had. And Patrik, if you ever read this: pm me so we can have some *real* adventures.

Mission Accomplished.