BBV- Help me write a love letter

[Oxy]

Wow.

I didn't know if anyone could take such a [censored] topic (to post in BBV; it's like begging to be eaten alive) and made it hilarious. Your posts rule. I can't help you with your letter, but I think you should be an honorary BBVer or something.

[Vehn]

does she wear the penguin suit in bed?

[pennpal]

[ QUOTE ]
If you gonna write a letter, at least make it funny as opposed to cheesy.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree. I expect this to be a serious thread giving me real world advice about my girlfriend, who I'm clearly inept with. RAPTOR H CHRIST THIS IS BBV PEOPLE, call my girlfriend fat or something

[Sk00l4m3nts]

[optimus_prime]

ayo bitch, get a tan.

i keeps it real,
pennpal

[Velocity]

Dear GirlieMcGirlfrienderson,

I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY GANGS OF AIDS INFESTED PYGMIES WHILE YOUR PARENTS WATCH. MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING TURKEY ERUPT INTO FLAMES BURNING DOWN YOUR HOUSE, LEAVING YOU WITH ONLY YOUR BURNT OUT SHELL OF A HOME TO BE THANKFUL FOR. IF EBOLA WERE TO ARRIVE IN AMERICA, YOUR VAGINA SHOULD BE GROUND ZERO. I'M SURPRISED NATURAL SELECTION HASN'T ALREADY KILLED YOU OFF YET, BUT I TAKE PLEASURE IN KNOWING IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME. IF THERE'S ANY JUSTICE IN THE WORLD YOU'LL FALL DOWN A STAIRCASE ONTO SOME HEROIN NEEDLES, THEN STUMBLE OUTSIDE ONLY TO GET HIT BY THE AMBULANCE MEANT TO SAVE YOU. YOU COMMUNIST SATAN WORSHIPING SCUM, I WONDER IF THAT BLACK [censored] YOU ARE SUCKING WAS WORTH THE SOUL THAT YOU TRADED FOR IT.

Love,
pennpal

it's practically your own words, and i have a feeling she's interested in someone else and is telling you to make a move to reclaim her or she's riding the guy who lives close to her full time.

[pennpal]

Now this thread is getting somewhere

[schundler]

[ QUOTE ]
do something with thread cat

[/ QUOTE ]

[Weir]

problem solved

[apefish]

Dear (insert correct name of girlfriend here- NOTE: make sure it's the correct name)-
I too have put a lot of thought into our relationship, and I have decided it is the right time to take it to the next level.
Right now I have an offer of $200 to help infuse romance back into our lives.
Have you ever heard of Grimstarr? Well- anyhow he's this guy in BBV. Totally trustworthy dude.
He claims to be busto- but am sure he can afford you for at least a night. Please PM - erm... call me if allowing him to rent you for a night works. Also- if you have a rate sheet for multiple nights- please send that.
I just want you to be happy.
He said he would transfer me funds on a site of my choosing once said night/(s) happens.

Love,
pennpal

ps- tell your sis and mom I said hi.