Beat: People that don't know how to order pizza

[SomethingClever]

Have you ever gotten stuck in line behind people who don't know how to order pizza? This [censored] happened to me again today, and it reminded me I'd been meaning to make a post about it.

*** SC's Pizza Ordering Guidelines ***

Step one: So you've decided to have pizza for lunch. Great choice! After reaching this decision, whether you're going solo or with a group of friends, consider what kind of pizza you might like. Perhaps you have a favorite topping, like pepperoni, mushrooms or sausage. Really, what sounds good? The options are endless, but, here's the important thing: Try to take two seconds to consider what you might want before you even depart for the pizza venue.

Step two: Are you a woman? If so, you probably like dumb toppings on your pizza. Like chicken or feta cheese... or no cheese at all. Anyway, if you like dumb toppings, have your dumb topping recipe memorized, so you don't have to spend 5 minutes thinking about it at the register.

Step three: Really, there is no excuse for taking more than 30 seconds at the register once you arrive at the pizza parlor. If there is an exotic topping ("ooh, should we get the bacon and avocado pizza lol?") available, I will allow another 10 seconds for you to consider it. If you fail at steps one and two, and haven't considered for one second what kind of pizza you might like until you actually reach the pizza place, try to use the time waiting behind other idiots to think about what kind of pizza you want. Really, what we're striving for is basically the opposite of the following:

Pizza Guy: Hi, what can I get you.
Woman (with three girlfriends): Ooooh, pizza! Ok, what do I want. Oh look, they have barbecued chicken, kalamata olive and leg of lamb pizza!
Pizza Guy: Is that what you'd like?
Woman: Oh wait... maybe I want no cheese. Nah, I'm doing Atkins. Okay. Can you tell me the difference in size and price between the slice and the mini?
Pizza Guy: Uh, our slice is this big... and our mini is this big. Like, you see those cutouts on the wall?
Woman: Oh, right, ok! Now, if I get tomatoes as a topping, do you put those on before or after cooking?
Pizza Guy: Before.
Woman: Hmm. I don't know. Nancy, what are you having?

Step four: Just order pepperoni for [censored]'s sake!

[mbillie1]

lol, yeah that [censored] drives me crazy. It's not like buying a house. Pick a slice of pizza and put it in your stupid c*nty mouth, next.

[bmwguy525]

hahah mbillie on a roll today

Yeah we went to a NYstyle and thankfully didn't run into this. I love when the menu says "Pizza by the Slice - $.$$ Each topping - .$$" and then someone says Sooo...can i get toppings on the slice or is it just cheese?

[mbillie1]

bmwguy525 wtf did they tempban you for? that's gay. anyways you missed my 3000th post mspaint parade [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] but I will bump it for you because I am an attention whore [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

edit: NVG is tag I guess, in those 5 days I have eclipsed your post count, bwahaahha

[whoisthedrizzle]

Heh I totally did this the other day and after like two minutes of holding up the line cause I didn't know what I wanted on my pizza, I remembered that what I really wanted to have was Chinese food. Man, those were some good egg rolls though. True story.

[mbillie1]

[ QUOTE ]
Heh I totally did this the other day and after like two minutes of holding up the line cause I didn't know what I wanted on my pizza, I remembered that what I really wanted to have was Chinese food. Man, those were some good egg rolls though. True story.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think you might really be Jack Handy

[bmwguy525]

I was reading it during the ban anyways....

Dids banned me for 5 days for telling some guy to DIAGF in NVG. Then it got quoted like 15 times cuz the OP srsly was a moron

[mbillie1]

you need backup gimmick accounts [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[tisthefire]

woah, five days for diagf?

[bmwguy525]

yeah...it was going to be a 2-day cuz it says in the sticky "NO DEATH WISHES", but I guess the mod notes on my account are quite extensive so he bumped it to a 5-day