d10 drives home from work, a trip report

[d10]

I was very relaxed today. Not in the mood to make any aggressive moves to squeeze past one more car, which I do quite often. Just cruising along the road doing 65 in a 45, but content to slow down if I hit traffic. So I'm driving down this road on my way home, and I come up on some traffic. It looks a bit like this mspaint:



So I slow down in the right lane, and as the cars in the left work their way past I move to the left. Apparently douchebag in the pickup truck (yes, specifying pickup truck is important, because the average douchebag level of a guy driving a pickup truck is higher than other motorists) that I moved behind didn't like how close I came to him, even though I gave him at least a half car length if not a full car length of space, so he brake checks me. AGGGGGGHHHH I am not relaxed anymore. But I am smart and douchebag brake chekers are predictable. So I begin to creep up on him until I'm confident that he is about to brake check me again. As soon as he does I am ready, I am down a gear and I quickly slide out into the turn lane and I'm half way past this guy before he even gets off the brakes. His braking has left just enough space for me to slide back in front of him. I briefly considered just going ahead and passing the guy in front of him as well since I'm already illegally passing in the turn lane, and doing so would have put me back on clear roads, but I chose to stop just in front of him as a means to better display my dominance.

At this point I'm just about past a group of cars on the right and there is enough room to pass the last guy in front of me in the left lane legally using the right lane. So I do that just as douchebag pickup truck guy decides to pass the same car using the turn lane. I get back into the left lane as he's still passing the first car and attempting to pass me. I can't have that, so I speed up to stay in front of him, but not too much because there is a car traveling in the other direction ahead using the turn lane for its intended purpose, I want to keep the back half of my car equal with the front half of the pickup so that he can't just slide in behind me, he has to brake and slide in, basically a conscious decision on his part to admitting defeat. Again I exert my dominance.

We come up to a stoplight and he is behind me. I see him waving his arms and yelling. At first I think he is yelling at me, even though I can't hear him. Then I realize he is yelling at a guy who has stopped next to us in the right lane and exited his car to tell us both how we are retards. I give the stopped guy a "sup bro?" and then my light turns green so I'm like "I'm out, holla".

I continue on towards my house. Douchebag pickup continues to follow. I turn into the entrance to my neighborhood, and made a circle just to be sure this douchebag following me was not just a coincidence. It looks like this:



No way I'm letting this guy follow me to my house. Unfortunately I had nothing in my car that I would feel comfortable using as a weapon. Fortunately this neighborhood was under construction. So I stopped, jumped out, picked up a loose cinder block laying on the side of the road and went to talk to this guy. He started to get out of his truck. I told him to get back in, because even with a cinder block I don't feel like fighting, fortunately he did. We exchanged some [censored] yous and [censored] and then he drove off.

Moral of the story, don't brake check, it pisses people off.

[onthebutton]

This is in Nashville, right? Not surprising, really.

[d10]

Nope, Clarksville. Close. I think Clarksville is worse but I am probably biased.

[kipin]

LOL you're both idiots. You for tailgating, him for brake checking.

Although I do love to brake check people who insist on tailgating me.

[JJSCOTT2]

[ QUOTE ]
LOL you're both idiots. You for tailgating, him for brake checking.

Although I do love to brake check people who insist on tailgating me.

[/ QUOTE ]

There is literally no downside to this move. If it works as desired you piss off the douche behind you, if he hits you, hilarity ensues and it's his fault.

[StaticShock]

Interesting choice of weapon in the cinder block selection.

[Dilznoofus]

[ QUOTE ]
LOL you're both idiots. You for tailgating, him for brake checking.

Although I do love to brake check people who insist on tailgating me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah the guy in truck was pretty ridiculous, but seriously why do you need to get within a half car length of him, especially since he's not technically the one holding you up? The guy in front of both of you was. Were you seriously riding no more than between half and one full car length behind him? I would be pissed at you too, considering it wasn't a heavy-traffic situation and, presumably, I am not the one slowing you down.

Good story though.

[AbreuTime]

I'm a rather fast driver, not content to go 15mph over the speed limit, and even I have the brake check in my arsenal. It is reserved for special situations, not a simple close lane switch.

[Duke]

A cinder block? I would have expected you to pick up a telephone pole to exert your dominance.

[g-bebe]

HAHAHA!

This has got to be one of my favourite 2+2 threads yet and it's barely 10 posts old. Great story, great graphics, and great post-OP posts.

As for the story... damn, using the turning lane to pass? [censored], I've never ever seen anyone do that, and I doubt I'd have the balls to do it. And to be honest, I've never thought/heard of brakechecking someone who's driving right up my ass.

This thread has opened my mind to tactical vehicular movements.