girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don't play poker?

getsick · #1 07-30-2007, 05:41 PM

lately, it seems that guys that i've met haven't been all that interested in me, ever since i started playing poker. i think it may be because these guys think i'm a degenerate gambler, because they don't understand poker. i just graduated from college and i'm unemployed; i only play poker right now. do you think this is something that a lot of people would not respect?

i'm a really honest and straightforward person, but i think the next time i meet a guy i'm interested in, i'm going to hold off telling him about my poker playing until we get to know each other a little. or maybe i have no choice but to stick with dating fellow poker players.

MrWookie · #2 07-30-2007, 05:46 PM

I think this is something that's common to both sexes. How would you expect many girls to react if they met a guy who was a professional poker player and not someone they'd seen on TV? A lot of people don't understand the game and assume you're a degen if that's how you plan to earn your bread.

getsick · #3 07-30-2007, 05:57 PM

yeah, that's true, since stereotypically females are more concerned with their partner's profession and financial standing. i can see how a lot of girls would find it a turn off that a guy plays poker for a living, and is not famous for it.

odellthurman · #4 07-30-2007, 07:59 PM

I think most guys are sufficiently shallow that they could care less what you do for a living or whether you even have a job. Or maybe that's not shallow? I don't know.

Blarg · #5 07-30-2007, 08:45 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I think most guys are sufficiently shallow that they could care less what you do for a living or whether you even have a job. Or maybe that's not shallow? I don't know.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah that one changes depending how you throw the light on it.

But it's very true that men usually don't care what kind of job a woman has. In fact, men tend to marry women with worse jobs than they have themselves. Women at their own level or above are usually looking for something better.

OP, if I were you I'd worry that guys might think your poker playing is only a "pretend" job like actress, that is so often really just treading water until you find some dude to support you. This could be a turn-off.

So maybe be careful to emphasize that you have a schedule, and plans, and study the game, and financial goals you're serious about. A lot of poker players brag about how they can do whatever they want whenever they want, how balla they are and how they don't care how much stuff costs. That might look worse on a woman because an unmotivated, unrealistic woman looks like a forgotten birth control pill waiting to happen. That or easy prey. You probably don't want to look like either.

Coffee · #6 07-30-2007, 09:23 PM

If you're looking for an upside, post this in OOT and see how many damn marriage proposals you get.

odellthurman · #7 07-30-2007, 09:37 PM

[ QUOTE ]
If you're looking for an upside, post this in OOT and see how many damn marriage proposals you get.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or post in BBV4Life - - over/under at number of seconds until "worthless without pics" comment is 15.

daveT · #8 07-30-2007, 10:39 PM

I used to hate all forms of gambling, and would never think to date any girl who even played scratch-offs. Actually, even if I know a girl plays scratch-offs, I am immediately disgruntled. Understand that to most people, poker is just gambling and no one wins. I try to explain to people all the time that I am not playing against the house. They can't get it through their head, and some of them have sat at a poker table. Remember that 95% of all players are losing (I say 75% on this forum).

I decided in the end that if anyone judges me for playing poker, they aren't very driven and aren't my friend, so they can take themselves on to somewhere else.

I am very proud of what I have accomplished, and if any women says that I am worthless because I play, well, they aren't worth impressing in the first place.

As a player, you need to become comfortable with what you are, and then worry about other people. I remember when I first started how I couldn't justify taking addicts money, but I got over it. We all progress at some time.

kerowo · #9 07-30-2007, 11:34 PM

It probably wouldn't be much different if you just told them you are unemployed. I'd come up with a cover story for why you don't have a "real" job yet; "finding myself," "living off my parents while I look for work." Something like that. If poker comes up, it's a hobby.

Until you find out what the guy's view on "non-standard" women is I'd suggest being as standard as you can be.

diamonddawg · #10 07-31-2007, 12:11 AM

Did you play poker in university? Did you date there? What did those guys think? What did other people - women friends, male friends, etc - think or express to you that they thought about your poker playing?
I believe that you will find a similar cross section of judgement patterns in the general public about your current life style / career choice as you will in potential dating partners: that is; some approve some do not.
I for one when I first encountered online poker thought it was like those online video games where people played for "play money" and thought it was a bit, well, wacky (like those nice, but rather odd people who go to ComicCon) and didn't believe a whit of how it could be a career choice until I educated myself. Also, btw, it is a challenging career choice - especially as a woman.....