jokes you've made IRL that flopped - Page 12

Bond18 · #**111** 10-26-2007, 01:57 AM

I was in 11th grade business class. We were doing an exercise where we practice a job interview with partners. We got to pick which job we would interview for, so i decided with my partner i'd interview to be the president of the US. Our teacher was young and pretty hot but way to uptight.

At one point we are supposed to ask the question "how can we be let go or lose this job?"
and my parnter says "well there are numerous offenses you can make of varying degrees that can get you indited"
i reply, without having told my partner ahead of time
"Oh yea? LIKE BANGING AN INTERN!?"

Partner could barely keep a straight face but teacher gave me a C because of it.

Triumph36 · #**112** 10-26-2007, 02:03 AM

I was at a college dinner - the whole senior class was there, it was the day before graduation, and anyone was allowed to go up and give a toast - so this boring guy gets up there and starts giving a toast to rhetoric, just droning on about how we've all learned how to make glorious speeches off the cuff - and I finally heckle him with 'You're doing a great job of showing it!' from the back.

I learned then - it is not a good idea to heckle a toast, regardless of how poor it is. I got a few gasps and stifled laughs from my friends, and a strong desire to be anywhere else in the world.

ski · #**113** 10-26-2007, 02:25 AM

most of the stuff I say that I think will be absolutely hilarious people don't get.

The stuff I say that I think is a bit funny people crack up at. Its so weird.

Kimbell175113 · #**114** 10-26-2007, 02:48 AM

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most of the stuff I say that I think will be absolutely hilarious people don't get.

The stuff I say that I think is a bit funny people crack up at. Its so weird.

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Absolutely. Whenever I say something that is just a standard joke, that I'm just doing because it's so obvious and somebody has to say it, that gets the laugh. But when I think of something brilliant, unique, and obtuse, I get stares.

Pudge714 · #**115** 10-26-2007, 03:05 AM

I had a friend who I went to elementary school with and hadn't seen in awhile when we went on a summer exchange together. The kid is a pretty stereotypical rich white kid who is a little artsy and thinks he is much deeper than he really is.
We are having a discussion about what's on are IPOD
He says: "I used to listen to Death Cab a lot when I was depressed"
I say in my best emo impression: "I listen to them when I slit my wrists"
Turns out he had some pretty serious issues. Him and the other girl there just stare at me, not angrily, but just shocked.
Happy end note That kid got his some of his [censored] together and I am now good friends with him.

34TheTruth34 · #**116** 10-26-2007, 03:40 AM

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I assume they are all hilarious and just chalk it up to people being dumb.

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this is the correct answer

TeeJayOrTJ · #**117** 10-26-2007, 03:54 AM

I was in an English class and our teacher was a huge comic book nerd. We were talking about weekend plans and he said he was going to a comicon convention. I raised my right hand in the air and yelled "VICTORY". I had one guy elicit a reaction.

KLJ · #**118** 10-26-2007, 05:17 AM

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I have this one joke that most people havent heard and it usually kills. I dont know if i was off or what but im at a party with a ton of people i dont know, i was drunk and dont know how the conversation led up to it but i say...

"Whats tall green and [censored] old women?"

"What?"

"Me in my lucky green jacket"

dead silence.

[/ QUOTE ]

first one i laughed hard about

grando · #**119** 10-26-2007, 07:01 AM

I'm waiting tables in Ontario and in the fall we get all these Americans coming up and hunting/fishing - they all tip amazing.

so these 4 American guys come in and take a seat at the semi-casual restaurant I was at. these guys are total American hunters - overweight, big manly men. they're ordering rounds of Bud and JD and finally they order food.

guy 1: I'll have bla bla bla bla
guy 2: yeah make it 2
guy 3: so, what about your pizza?
me: what would you like to know?
guy 3: so how big is it about?
me: 12 inches - about 8 inches more than you're used to
guys: .....

THAY3R · #**120** 10-26-2007, 07:17 AM

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For a lifelong class clown like myself, I am not sure I can even grasp how many of my jokes have bombed.

I do stand up, and some of it is intentionally very corny and I like to tell it at drunken parties. Usually the following joke gets a few laughs, but in a class of mine the other day where upon hearing I am a jokester it was requested I make a joke, it got nothing:

"When I was a kid I went out to Missouri, visiting my great grandparents. When I was there I saw a caterpillar museum, and it was awesome. I came back the next year but it had flown away.

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FYJ