Scared of death

[CAPSLOCKFTW]

So I've been thinking a lot about death lately. I'm not religious in any way and what I basically believe in is when you die it's all over. You don't go to heaven/hell or become reborn or whatever. To me this is the worst thought imaginable. It scares the [censored] out of me, not like you're scared by a horror movie, this actually makes me sad. Knowing that you're never going to be able to think again that it's just all over. The universe will keep on going in eternity while you're just dead. No thoughts, nothing. Just eternal blackness.

A part of me says "this can't be it, there should be something more, life is pointless. ". I overhead two classmates talking about this some months ago.

Non religious guy: "Even though it's sad, I think death is the end".

Religious guy: "But if death is the end what is the point?"

Non religious guy: "Just life, having fun".

I think to myself, "wow this answer is total [censored]". How can it be the point if it's going to end. If all good things come to an end it's just sad.

I'm like 99.99% sure death is the end but actually hope I'm wrong and death is not the end. Even if this means Im going to hell I would still prefer that. Not having consciousness scares the [censored] out of me.

If I could press a button that made me religious and really believe in it I would do it immediately even though I think a lot of it is total [censored]. Having a reassurance that there's something more would be so nice to have. Even though there isn't. But Christians never find out that they lose. They think they go to heaven but they don't. Therefore they are the winners.

Have any of you had the same thoughts? If so how do you counter them?

edit: now that i think of it, this might not belong here. just move it to philosophy or psychology if it belongs there

[Kirkland]

"Almost everything you do, you do because you are afraid to die. And yet dying is exactly what you are doing, from the moment you are born.... You were born as a sacrifice. And you can either participate in the sacrifice, dissolving in the giving of your gift, or you can resist it, which is your suffering." from The Way of the Superior Man

[Kimbell175113]

This gave me an excuse to dig up one of my favorite 2p2 posts of all time:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...Number=9255926

"you should think of death (along with conception) more as a boundary to the little region of spacetime defining your existence. That corner of spacetime will always be yours; you do exist -- you have been granted reality along with the rest of the universe -- and nothing can ever change that."

(That whole thread has good stuff, too, ldo)

[Xibalba]

I've been fairly necrophobic ever since I was a little kid.

First, you should remember that in the way the religious man BELIEVES in an afterlife, you BELIEVE in the absence of one. No matter how far science has come, it will always be unable to conclusively prove it's the end, so your "fear" or "anxiety" or "whatever" is pretty much structurally identical to that of a bad christian fearing hell.

Not having consciousness scares you because you can't conceive it, but you will never be able to conceive it because it is a contradiction to do so. You are trying to imagine not being able to imagine, you are trying to think yourself as a nothing where thoughts are not possible, so you end up in panic. I know, I've been there.

Countering this type of thoughts is pretty hard in itself, because they are a circular argument in your head, that can pretty much creep up at any time. But there are some things that have always helped me. If you are involved and actively working towards things that are important to you, the recurrent thoughts start to appear less frecuently.
Also, as any recurrent thought-pattern, you have to remember that YOU are THINKING it. When you're down in the death anxiety hole, it sort of feels like you can't just avoid being there, but you thought yourself down there.

You have to remember that your conviction that death is the end is unfounded. You mention how christians still lose, but I'd wager they don't even if death is truly the end, because for the most part, their religion feeds their life and they don't suffer from this kind of thought. But I understand where you are coming from, thinking of it like a sad illusion they have, that you sort of don't want to break because they shouldn't "know" what you "know", but that still doesn't matter because they will "die" as well. All I can tell you is that while analyzing this for myself, it's that you are trying to convince yourself more that "death is the end" with those internal arguments than otherwise. See, psychologically (perhaps even biologically) we are wired to not believe death is the end. Now, this means nothing in and of itself, it just means that either by evolutionary mechanism or because non-existence is impossible to subjectively imagine, you, deep down, don't believe in death. The subconscious part of you can't simply process it.
One of the things that can set you "free" is remembering that you believe death is the end as much as one may believe its not and that your belief is what causes you anguish, not any sort of truth.

Also, and this is the most important thing I can say, excessive fear of death is the easiest way to guarantee lack of motivation, lack of goals for the future and apathy, because it doesn't matter. But it also shows that you think you, as in your consciousness, is worth existing and shouldn't stop. This is no suicidal tirade. If you don't want to imagine yourself not existing, it's because you think you should be existing. It's sort of a paradox that such validation for yourself causes you to think everything is meaningless, but it happens. Don't fall in the wrong side of the paradox.
I'd wager you probably fear more "losing control" of your "self" more than the possible "dissolution" of your "self"

PS. Try to remember the last time you were in deep sleep. Not REM sleep. No "dreaming" sleep. Deep, deep sleep. You have no memory and no "consciousness" of that. And it wasn't so bad, wasn't it?

[Kimbell175113]

^^^ This guy certainly has the right screen name for the topic.

[CAPSLOCKFTW]

Wow, thank you Xibalba, very good post.

Thanks for the links I'll definitely appreciate them.

[TheRempel]

There has been a massive amount of death in my family over the last two years. My mom lost both her sisters and my second eldest sister died in February after being sick for most of her adult life. My oldest sister Dena (almost 20 years older than me, I am the baby in my family) suddenly got really sick and went into liver failure in early June. She passed away in the hospital after they shut off life support while we stood around her bed.

She was unconscious and kept alive by machines while we waited for he rest of the family to get there, but for some reason her eyes were always halfway open. I spent fifteen hours in the room with her. Whatever had made her 'her' simply wasn't there anymore. All that was left was an empty shell.

Whether it was because the processes in her brain were shutting down or her 'soul' had left her body, I don't know. I have been agnostic for most of my life and don't believe in God(s) but I think there has to be some bigger part of being alive than just a bunch of chemicals and neurons.

I also drowned when I was 7 and required CPR. I don't remember experiencing anything but darkness.

The closest thing I've ever had to religion was Grant Morrison's The Invisibles. Bit easier to deal with existential problems when you believe everyone is going to become a god on December 22, 2012.

[Xibalba]

[ QUOTE ]
Bit easier to deal with existential problems when you believe everyone is going to become a god on December 22, 2012.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good post. Only 5 years left.

[nath]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Bit easier to deal with existential problems when you believe everyone is going to become a god on December 22, 2012.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good post. Only 5 years left.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, I don't know if "becoming a god" is the right term for what's gonna happen. We'll see. We live in interesting times.

[TheRempel]

Enter the super-context... yadda yadda yadda. Pass the mescaline.