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View Poll Results: What Day?
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  #71  
Old 11-23-2007, 01:32 PM
checkmate36 checkmate36 is offline
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Default Re: 400,000 hands in 46 days???

[_] nice graph
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  #72  
Old 11-23-2007, 01:44 PM
leatherass leatherass is offline
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Default Re: 400,000 hands in 46 days???

[ QUOTE ]
u guys think this is possible?? You prob dont... well Im doing it and 1/6th done with 40 days to go!

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't do it man.....Here is what I wort in my blog.

The worst decision I have ever made as a poker professional was the day I decided to try and become a Supernova elite. I look back and while I had good intentions when deciding to do it, it has made my year less fun than it should have been and has been the most Ė EV thing I have ever done. Right now I am going through a stretch of poker that is only not the worst stretch of my life because early October was about the same. But this is darn close. And when things are going poorly the last thing on earth I want to be doing is playing poker. There is truly nothing more miserable for me than running terrible. I can tolerate running bad. And while running bad is part of the game, running the way I run at times is not. Sure every once in a blue moon you should have a prolonged terrible streak. It happens to everyone. But it happens to me a lot. And it really sucks. I am down 1.33bb/100 over my last 41k hands now. And I am playing mostly 3/6 and 5/10 where I am a long term 5bb+/100 winner. It is truly gross that something like this is even part of this game. It truly makes me hate the game of poker when stuff like this happens. And like I said, if it only happened once in a blue moon I could swallow it much easier. But this is, oh I donít know, like the 10th+ time something like this has happened this year. Maybe people just arenít talking about it, but I canít remember the last time someone I knew that was a 5bb+/100 winner had a single streak like this, much less 10 of them!

In all honesty I do love poker. I really do. But the thing that always gets me down on it is the bad runs. It really does take away from the game for me. I mean letís really think about this. I have played 41k hands and lost money. 99.9% of the poker playing population will never play that many hands in their life. So to think that there could be a guy out there playing world class poker for his entire life, and not even know it because he is a lifetime loser. HahahÖI mean seriously what a joke. If you play live, it would take you about a year to play 41k hands if you played frequently. Can you imagine me playing golf frequently for a whole year at a PGA Tour level and not even know it? And not even being a good player? Ha! Yeah right. That to me is why my heart of hearts will always be with golf. I HATE the fact that in poker no matter what you do or how well you play, your results at times are not even remotely in your control.

But getting back to elite. I think I have to finish it at this point as I have come so far. But I really and truly wish I had never tried it. It has been bad for my bankroll, bad for my psyche and for my game overall. It has caused me several complete meltdowns. As I write this I have just come off a session that was so bad I literally had a breakdown. I was shaking for 45 minutes and was in a fit of rage. There is some broken stuff, but not more than $50 in damage so not too bad considering. I truthfully canít even believe that I am writing about this. Stuff like this shouldnít even be happening. I mean first of all I should have more control over myself. But beyond that it shouldnít be happening because I should be taking a day or two off when poker goes this poorly. But I canít. I have to get this gosh darn supernova elite. I tried to avoid something like this from happening. I stopped and started over 10 times in the past 3 days. Some sessions never made it past 30 minutes because I got screwed like 400 times in those first 30 minutes and quit. But this session was the final straw and the end result is going to be spending 15 minutes picking up the pieces in my office.

Next year I donít foresee something like this happening again. I never get that pist off in poker as long as I can walk away. But if you force me to sit there and then torture me pot after pot, well, Iím not just going to sit there and take it. Stuff is going to get broken and fly around the room. Thatís just the way it is. I really donít have much of a temper actually. When I played golf people always said my demeanor reminded them of Fred Couples. Iíd like to think that that also translates to poker. But I am a cool cat up until a point. If I cross into the dark side then I lose control. It takes a lot to get me to the dark side. 41k hands at 6b/100 lower than what I deserve will do the trick apparently. I used to get to the dark side a lot easier back in my early poker days. But that was mainly because I had rent to pay and losing like this meant a lot more than just simply not getting my EV.

Anyway Iím not really sure where I am going with this at this point. I mostly just needed to write which always makes me feel better. I used to keep a journal and now I write this blog instead. Sure I canít say 100% of what is on my mind like I would a personal journal, but I like to get as close to 100% as I can. So I guess that is that. I do know that I very much regret chasing elite. It has negatively affected the overall enjoyment of my life, it has hurt my game, my bankroll (I know I could be a huge winner at 25/50 and beyond if I didnít have to play 8 jillion tables and never get to study), my overall psyche, my attitude towards poker, my involvement with stoxpoker (which I very much love to work on), my golf game, my physical fitness (so tired of being fat and lazy), the amount of time with friends/family and most importantly my wife and well, that probably about covers itÖlol. At this point there is nothing I can do about it. I canít get back this time and I canít quit now that Iíve come this far. So my only hope is that the poker Gods take it a little bit easier on me and make the last 5+ weeks more enjoyable then it has been lately.
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