This just means a lot to me I hope you can help

[TheGame232]

Hallo guys.

When I first found this forum I was very impressed by the knowledge and the experience of its users und so I have this last hope that you can help me.

When I fist started to play poker I was totally hooked and motivated to learn every aspect of this game. So I tryed my best, (expecting nothing), but winning a lot.

I also became addicted to the pokervids on you tube and pokertube (I really believe I wathced at least 90% availible) and Hsp even 2-3 times.

But unfortunatelly i cant handle money, I never had a seriouse Bankrollmanagement, and whenever I won I gave the money away playing Roulett,Blackjack,poker in higher limits, buying things I dont need and giving my money away.

You guys would never believe what I tryed to disceplin myself (talking to myself, reading artikles about Bankroull management, even meditation!)

But it all failed to succeed. In the last 6 months I went broke 8 times! and everytime I went broke It was hurting so much becouse poker is my everything. I have no girlfriend, not much friends and only work 20h a month. So I am constantly alone in my appartment with my computer and when I have poker in my life i am so happy but when its gone I feel depressed.

My main weakness is that I try to get what i lost in a session back throu playing in higher limits, Blackjack or Roulett. That always destroyed my bankroll and I AM AWARE OF IT.

But THATS the unbelievible Thing: even though I knowe it I still do it!

I hope you guys can share your experiences with me and give me an advice.

Thanks in advance for your help
and for the love to this Game