Does selfishness ever bother you?

[lucksack]

Do you ever think it's disgusting how obvious and thinly veiled it is that we only use each other to get entertainment/happiness/safety/whatever? This bothers me a lot sometimes when it seems so clear even parents and their kids use each other to benefit themselves, and I don't know a "solution" for this since becoming a hermit isn't a good option either.

[entertainme]

It really bothers me when my kids are selfish or have a case of the "gimmies".

On the other hand, we are all essentially selfish beings. No getting around that. It's a fact, and probably necessary to our survival.

So, like most things in life, it's all a matter of balance.

[Blarg]

Yeah, tit for tat. It's not wanting some tit that's the problem, because everybody wants tit, but when you become an unreliable and difficult to deal with source of tat. You should always carry some extra tat, just to be safe and not look like a moocher. And spread it around a little, and be able to talk about something besides tit.

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]
Do you ever think it's disgusting how obvious and thinly veiled it is that we only use each other to get entertainment/happiness/safety/whatever? This bothers me a lot sometimes when it seems so clear even parents and their kids use each other to benefit themselves, and I don't know a "solution" for this since becoming a hermit isn't a good option either.

[/ QUOTE ]

Can you give any specific examples of selfish behaviors that are particularly bothersome to you? Like how do you mean that parents use their kids to benefit themselves?

[daveT]

Isn't it comforting to know that you are selfishly taking happiness from your friends and they are selfishly taking happiness from you.

You can't take unless someone is willing to give.

[Shadowrun]

My roommate "thinks this is BS and the OP is being idiotic. He is not seeking the right people"

Personally, I think my roommate is a little bit naive, and i agree with OP that almost all human interaction is like this. But every now and then you might be surprised.

[Blarg]

Actually giving is very fun and often more rewarding than taking. For instance, I don't give a damn about Christmas, except for the giving part really, and then mainly to kids. I'm awestruck by how good it can feel to give a kid a christmas present and see his frenzied delight unwrapping it, and maybe even liking it(kids are nothing if not honest). Makes me feel like a million bucks and just seeing that happiness is worth so much more to me than the money and time and effort I put into buying the present.

Also, cooking is cosmic or something in how it can seem to feel so good and welcoming and loving when you're on the receiving end of it, but also how great it can make you feel doing it for others, too. I mean not every meal and every audience, so to speak. But still, it just feels great to do for people that way. If they like it, you feel like a million bucks.

Or if you have older parents and you come over to help them out with some physical chores around the house or something. Sure you may have no fun, but it feels good that they don't have to do that kind of thing, at least not every time. Payback, of the good kind, feels pretty damn good.

[lucksack]

A good example is how they would want their kid to choose a profession that they like so they could feel good about it (especially when talking about kids with people).

Accepting meat industry is another thing that generally bothers me since almost all people do that (and obviously can't hide it, so it's easy to see the selfishness). And grading friends/people based on how beneficial they are.

[Blarg]

The grading friends on "who can do more for me now" thing can be pretty icky. Happens in love relationships too, which is really sad.

[daveT]

Blarg, I like your post. Do you think that you are in a way being selfish by seeking out your own pleasure?

This could go in huge circles all day long.