Tact Filters

[mmbt0ne]

I saw an interesting blog post on this today linking to something written in 96 by a guy at MIT. I think this sums it up pretty much perfectly, and we can all think of people here who would exhibit these traits.

post: http://www.43folders.com/2007/09/24/...-filter-theory

original article: http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/tact.html



All people have a "tact filter", which applies tact in one direction to everything that passes through it. Most "normal people" have the tact filter positioned to apply tact in the outgoing direction. Thus whatever normal people say gets the appropriate amount of tact applied to it before they say it. This is because when they were growing up, their parents continually drilled into their heads statements like, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!"

"Nerds," on the other hand, have their tact filter positioned to apply tact in the incoming direction. Thus, whatever anyone says to them gets the appropriate amount of tact added when they hear it. This is because when nerds were growing up, they continually got picked on, and their parents continually drilled into their heads statements like, "They're just saying those mean things because they're jealous. They don't really mean it."

When normal people talk to each other, both people usually apply the appropriate amount of tact to everything they say, and no one's feelings get hurt. When nerds talk to each other, both people usually apply the appropriate amount of tact to everything they hear, and no one's feelings get hurt. However, when normal people talk to nerds, the nerds often get frustrated because the normal people seem to be dodging the real issues and not saying what they really mean. Worse yet, when nerds talk to normal people, the normal people's feelings often get hurt because the nerds don't apply tact, assuming the normal person will take their blunt statements and apply whatever tact is necessary.

So, nerds need to understand that normal people have to apply tact to everything they say; they become really uncomfortable if they can't do this. Normal people need to understand that despite the fact that nerds are usually tactless, things they say are almost never meant personally and shouldn't be taken that way. Both types of people need to be extra patient when dealing with someone whose tact filter is backwards relative to their own.

[jackflashdrive]

Interesting essay. I think the psychological theory behind it is very dubious, but I think it is worthwhile because the effect of the 'tact filter' story is to encourage people to give other's more slack and generosity when interpreting their communication. This could only serve to aid one's social functioning, and so an individual who finds that social functioning is improved by this story is probably likely to conclude that the underlying theory is valid. Sort of like making money at poker because a flawed theory happens to result in +EV decisions much of the time.

[Autocratic]

This is clearly very limited in its depth of psychological analysis, but an interesting way to look at this issue nonetheless.

[keikiwai]

this is pretty bad analysis

from spending years at various universities, i can tell you there are tons of bitter nerds who do not have the incoming filter

[WhoIam]

I'm not convinced. "Captain Kirk sucks compared to Captain Picard" will set off a lot of nerds.

[Jordan]

While this analysis is not universally applicable, it certainly describes me very well. I am often way too blunt with other people, as well as very difficult to offend.