Remove Fetus, Advice?

[J4Frankie]

Aright folks, seems were in a bit of bind here. I got my girlfriend passed out on the kitchen table right now, and am having trouble removing her fetus. I'v been going at it for 45 minutes, but it seems either her vagina is not wide enough, or I underestimated the size of this bastard.

My brother said you can crush it up with a wire, and then suck him out with a straw (or vacuum if it can fit), but I believe this is only if your in the first or second trimester.

Advice?

I'd like to get this done before turkey day if at all possible.