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#1
11-19-2007, 12:40 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
the ppl who say that kids are huge investments for little return and ppl who don't like kids usually need to take a look at their own childhoods and parents and see what went wrong..
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#2
11-19-2007, 12:58 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
the ppl who say that kids are huge investments for little return and ppl who don't like kids usually need to take a look at their own childhoods and parents and see what went wrong.. [/ QUOTE ] This is exactly the mentality I find funny. I would never try to convince someone they shouldn't have children but parents seem to think people who don't want children are defective. I have nothing against children. I actually volunteer at a spelling bee which has me coaching young children. The reason I don't want children is because I value my social life more than I value having children. I love my life. If I had children my life would be boring. I tried doing the whole domestic thing for two weeks and I was so miserable that if I had to wake up to that for 16-17 years I rather just jump in front of a bus and get it over with.
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#3
11-19-2007, 01:08 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] kids i know i want 100% a wife, i'm not so sure. [/ QUOTE ] I had to laugh at this. While neither my wife nor I have ever regretted having kids, I can assure you we've both had moments of regretting we ever got married. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I think that's pretty par for the course in marriage. [/ QUOTE ] i know that there are ups and downs during all marriages, but i don't really see a point in getting married unless it is to raise children together.
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#4
11-19-2007, 01:09 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
While neither my wife nor I have ever regretted having kids [/ QUOTE ] See, I want to have kids, but statements like this actually make me think about changing my mind. First of all, I find it hard to believe that someone would never question a decision that big. And second, if having kids really does [censored] with your mind so much that you can't even longingly consider what might have been, then maybe I don't want them after all. Does this make sense to anyone? Even though I'm a children person, I'm on Henry's side in this thread, in the sense of I think the social stigmas about this stuff are 99% ridiculous. edit: I'm 20, since everyone is giving ages in this thread and since it seems to matter
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#5
11-19-2007, 01:57 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] While neither my wife nor I have ever regretted having kids [/ QUOTE ] See, I want to have kids, but statements like this actually make me think about changing my mind. First of all, I find it hard to believe that someone would never question a decision that big. And second, if having kids really does [censored] with your mind so much that you can't even longingly consider what might have been, then maybe I don't want them after all. Does this make sense to anyone? [/ QUOTE ] This makes perfect sense, if you don't have kids. I know it gets a little cliche' after awhile, but you just can't possibly understand it until you have kids of your own. That's just the way it is. Yes, there were times when I longed for the day the kids would be on their own and Mary and I would have our free time together. But I never once longed for the past, the days when we didn't have kids. Do you understand the difference? Probably not. That said, now that my son is off to college, what I long for more than anything is to turn back the clock and make them young again. I am not looking forward to the empty nest, even if I may have occasionally wanted it in the past. Make sense? I doubt it. You gotta live through it to understand.
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#6
11-19-2007, 02:03 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] While neither my wife nor I have ever regretted having kids [/ QUOTE ] See, I want to have kids, but statements like this actually make me think about changing my mind. First of all, I find it hard to believe that someone would never question a decision that big. And second, if having kids really does [censored] with your mind so much that you can't even longingly consider what might have been, then maybe I don't want them after all. Does this make sense to anyone? [/ QUOTE ] This makes perfect sense, if you don't have kids. I know it gets a little cliche' after awhile, but you just can't possibly understand it until you have kids of your own. That's just the way it is. Yes, there were times when I longed for the day the kids would be on their own and Mary and I would have our free time together. But I never once longed for the past, the days when we didn't have kids. Do you understand the difference? Probably not. That said, now that my son is off to college, what I long for more than anything is to turn back the clock and make them young again. I am not looking forward to the empty nest, even if I may have occasionally wanted it in the past. Make sense? I doubt it. You gotta live through it to understand. [/ QUOTE ] Henry was right. It's a cult.
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#7
11-19-2007, 02:49 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
I have only one regret in life, not having more children when I had the chance.
You can never consider yourself complete and mature until you marry and have kids. This is 5000 year old common wisdom. Times HAVE NOT changed but there are a whole lot more selfish folks today.
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#8
11-19-2007, 03:05 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
I haven't posted much in this thread despite not having kids being something I'm pretty sure about (I'm 31 if age matters here) because Henry17 has said pretty much everything I would say and has done it in a very eloquent manner.
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#9
11-19-2007, 03:06 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
You can never consider yourself complete and mature until you marry and have kids. This is 5000 year old common wisdom. Times HAVE NOT changed but there are a whole lot more selfish folks today. [/ QUOTE ] I'm pretty sure I'm complete. I only took a few physiology courses but with the exception of some baby teeth I have all the rest of my original equipment. Maturity is much harder to judge but I'm pretty sure in a western liberal society part of maturity is having the reasoning capabilities to realize that conceptions of the good are part of the personal sphere and not part of the public sphere. To believe that one's own personal conception of the good is epistemologically superior is actually an indication of immaturity.
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#10
11-19-2007, 03:18 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
I'm 26 and have zero interest in having kids right now, but I'm fairly certain I will want them when I'm in my 30s. My only problem with my dormant desire to have kids is that I think having children of your own is a selfish thing to do when there are so many children in need of a good home. I fully expect to rationalize this by the time I'm ready to have kids, as well as get attacked by people who claim having children is not selfish.
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