need a clever zinger

hyde · #1 02-24-2007, 11:27 AM

Back story:
Dick and Jane get married. The night before the wedding Dick humps the local tramp. Local tramp is a very attractive temptress. Affectionately known around this small town as 'Sloots' R us'. Jane is unaware of the activity.
The marriage is clearly not made in heaven. In fact it sucks. but two kids arrive and so it goes " stay in it for the kids"...yada yada yada.
Years later the inevitable divorce occurs. Dick and Jane go on their merry ways, but are still finishing off the raising of the teens so small town encounters are unavoidable.
Lo and behold Dick shows up at a function with the aforementioned [censored]. New nickname around town " Target".
During the divorce proceeding when truths come out in the form of " I always wondered why you married him, I always hated him, did you know about....yada yada yada. Jane finds out about the wedding eve activity.
During the marriage Dick never struck Jane but many discussions began with " you stupid C**t"....verbally he was not much fun.

Interesting notes:
"Target" has broken up 4 marriages in a small town.
"Target" has three children. The middle child resembles DICK......
"Target was married once and it lasted almost a year.
So Jane would like to zing the Dick. Probably in front of others. The best I have so far is " Wow, what a surprise to see you two together, all this time I thought it was just a one night stand before my wedding."
A little help would be appreciated. Looking for clever, sophisticated?, leveler,
Goal is embarrassment with a side order of gotcha.