Stupid things I thought when I was a kid.

[Emperor]

My mom would alway say, "Dad is going to work to make the money!" - I thought he worked at the Federal Mint...

She would also threaten "giving me back to the indians where I came from" when I was misbehaving.

I thought American Indians lived in Pizza Hut

I thought letting 4 guys I worked with pile into the car with open 40oz's, and driving them home to the ghetto was perfectly legal and safe. (My parents never told me we had an open container law! or that there were neighborhoods less savory than our wonderful suburb!)

I thought my parents were too poor to help pay for college... pwned

18yr old girl in high school who was dating my best friend replied when I asked her if she came, "Girls don't have orgasms!" - Poor guy, they are married now

Brag part... In Kindergarten we were reading See spot run... I walked over to the teachers desk and started reading the newspaper to her... She freaked... Mom taught me to read when I was 3ish and I couldn't get enough.

Weird part... When I was between 2 and 4 yrs old, I would often describe in extreme technical detail how to pilot my dead grandfather's airplane. (He had died when my father was 7yrs old) It was in such technical detail that my uncle freaked out, thought I was possessed or reincarneted or something. I got a super high fever at age 4 and never spoke like that afterwords.

Reality bites:

1. I thought colleges taught you something worth the thousands of dollars you were spending. I did some research on starting Salaries of graduates, and found out I was making more than than them at my part time government contracting job.

2. I was in awe to find out just recently 2 out of every 3 people are addicted to either Drugs and/or Alcohol. The average wage of a single person is $16/hr, the mean wage is $11/hr.

[Emperor]

We had these 2 girls in high school who were completely gullible.

One day we had them in tears because, "that morning the news had reported that the moon was going to crash into the earth in 3 days."

I cant remember any of the other ones, but it was a daily thing to see what we could get them to believe, 99% of it they bought without question. Usually it was hard to get them to believe we had made it up.

[Brom]

Not mine, but one of my little brother's misconceptions. He thought that just because someone's birthday came earlier in the year that they had to be older than anyone with a later birthday. He couldn't figure out how he was born in August and I was born in September, yet I was older than him. He didn't figure it out until he was about 7 or 8.

[Escape]

I thought that the traficlights were controlled by someone underground.That a light would turn up and a bell would sound when someone pushed a button. Boy did I hate those people who pushed the button multiple times, he was just doing his job alright.

Didn't buy the I'm born in september you are born in february you are older crap. (4 or 5)

[The Vibesman]

I thought the world was fair and just, and that everyone got what they deserved.

[eviljeff]

[ QUOTE ]
That reminds me: I used to think you had two options at the grocery. You could pay, or you could use a credit card, and get everything for free.

When we'd ask for a toy, and my mom would say we couldn't afford it, we'd counter, "But you can use your credit card!"

[/ QUOTE ]

the average American still thinks like this and has 10K+ of cc debt

[eviljeff]

[ QUOTE ]
I found out the "girls have 3 holes" thing at 13. Boy was that a shocker.

[/ QUOTE ]

no, the shocker only takes care of 2 of these holes

[Tenacious A]

Turns out bales of hay and hail are two different things.

[jba]

two things:

1) When you are a boy and you get old, you have to start going by your middle name. My older brother and I were given the middle names of our two grandfathers, who by coincidence both happened to have gone by their middle name since birth. I thought they just switched when they got old, otherwise what is the point of the middle name. I was always amazed that my grandmothers never messed up and called their husbands what they used to call them when they were young. I thought this was true for a surprisingly long time, and I was pretty pissed about having to switch when I got old.

2) People built the mountains with bulldozers.

[Bascule]

I thought that some people were born little, and some were born big, and I was one of the little ones.