So long OOT, I'm converting to Kemet

bisonbison · #1 09-19-2007, 11:17 AM

Well guys, it's been fun knowing all y'all, first as a guy who sucked at poker, then as an online poker guy, then as a guy who sucked at poker. I've spent years on these here forums, posting about dicks and vaginas and the fights they have, but I've been hiding a secret pain. Something's been missing.

That something? A religious faith founded over 1 decades ago by a wiccan with a hunger for ancient Egypt.

Call it kismet (or rather, Kemet!), but in my standard ramble through wikipedia this morning I came across the inspiring story of the Kemetic Orthodoxy. Kemet is an ancient word for Egypt, a place familiar to many of us. I think it's a word we're going to be hearing a lot more about.

Why? Because when Jolliett, Illinois-born Tamara Siuda was 19, she had an ecstatic vision, a religious calling that inspired her to found a religion based on the unrecorded rituals of Egyptian people who are dead and thus can't complain. Crowning herself Nisut-Bity and Her Holiness and gathering about her Chicago's finest fat women and distressed manboys (It's not a feedee cult. Oh no! Nope.), she started a temple, founded a divinity school, and created a "ritual calendar, which is based on the rising of Sirius over Jolliett". 12 years later, she polished her credentials with a master's degree in Egyptology.

I need you guys to know and respect that this is a fully functioning and totally legitimate religion, run by "the current incarnation of the kingly ka, or the invested spirit of Heru, the Kemetic aspect of divinity incarnate in its spiritual leaders." Our nisut is 196th in a lineage, man.

I won't have time for OOT now. I belong with my new friends. I can't describe the inner peace I'm feeling, so I'll just leave you with some daily devotions and say "Em hotep to the children of Netjer!"