Need advice on how to scratch my butt when I 'can't'

[Howard Beale]

So there I was getting my hair buzzed off at Super Cuts by a 20 something cute girl when I got one of those INCREDIBLE itches in my butt that absolutely HAD to be scratched. But I couldn't because there was no way that she wouldn't see me scratching my butt. I got to thinking that this must happen a lot. Say you're 5 minutes into chatting up some new girl and you've got to scratch real bad. You can't do it in front of her and you can't leave while you're on a roll. Or you might be on a witness stand or something. Or at a job interview or a business meeting So what do you do? If you have developed a technique to handle this discreetly please share.



And now the obligatory sort of lame poll:

[bisonbison]

The way I fight this is to shower occasionally and achieve a bare minimum of civilized hygiene.

[Howard Beale]

[ QUOTE ]
The way I fight this is to shower occasionally and achieve a bare minimum of civilized hygiene.

[/ QUOTE ]

Faults I have aplenty but I've got one of the cleanest butts in the world. Wash cloths, liquid soap and bent over rinse with the high power pulse from my Waterpic shower head. You could eat dinner off of my super-clean butt. Well, not you personally, but certain posters on here could.

[bisonbison]

The answer is: you suffer until you can't suffer anymore, trying to distract yourself the whole time. There's no other option.

But given that this question has made me itchy, it's not like this is easy.

[XXXNoahXXX]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The way I fight this is to shower occasionally and achieve a bare minimum of civilized hygiene.

[/ QUOTE ]

Faults I have aplenty but I've got one of the cleanest butts in the world. Wash cloths, liquid soap and bent over rinse with the high power pulse from my Waterpic shower head. You could eat dinner off of my super-clean butt. Well, not you personally, but certain posters on here could.

[/ QUOTE ]

I used to think that hell consisted of watching Granny Mae shave his back, but I think watching Howard Beale shower has got to be at least one of the levels of hell. I think it's somwhere between the whole Sisyphus rock pushing and actually being Howard Beale.


Edit: Sometimes I bite the inside of my cheek really hard and it makes it go away. hope that helps.

[dlk9s]

[ QUOTE ]

Edit: Sometimes I bite the inside of my cheek really hard and it makes it go away. hope that helps.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's too far for most people to reach.

[adsman]

Howard looks out the window and then quickly double checks. His mouth falls open, he raises his arm and points towards the street while saying:

"Oh my God! Check out what that guy is doing outside!"

Scratches butt.

[DrewDevil]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Edit: Sometimes I bite the inside of my cheek really hard and it makes it go away. hope that helps.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's too far for most people to reach.

[/ QUOTE ]

A

[garyjacosta]

Just piss your pants. It's a great diversion. No one will pay any attention to you scratching your butt.

[KilgoreTrout]

Hire a personal assistant. Have him/her take care of it. You're a busy guy.