Ask Howard about Oriental Massage Parlors

[Howard Beale]

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If you had to guess, how many times would say you have been to asian massage parlors

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In the hundreds.

[mbillie1]

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In the hundreds.

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Do you have to go a few times w/o getting it on to establish trust with them, or anything like that?

[Howard Beale]

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Did anyone ever suspect you of being a cop, or did you ever suspect you were being set up?

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When they bring you to the room they tell you to get 'ready' and that means naked. No cop can do that, so, no, I was never suspected of being a cop.

One time I walked into a new place and it was a different set-up and looked really sketchy. There was a guy behind a desk and he wanted to see ID. I turned around and walked out.


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Do these places get busted with any regularity?

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In NYC they were. All the time. I got caught up in a couple of them. They always just let the customers go after taking their pictures and trying to humiliate them. It didn't work on me. One time a cop asked me what I was doing there. I said 'First, let me tell you that I respect the police. I know you're just doing your job. I'm sorry to have caused you any trouble. What am I doing here? I'm here to get laid, that's what I'm doing here!' He said 'Oh, just go home.'


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Are all Asian Massage Parlors the same way? Eg, if you walked into an "Asian Massage Parlor" in a random city cold with no read or information, would you expect to get laid?

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Yes. If the sign says 'Oriental' or 'Asian' Massage and ESPECIALLY 'Accupressure' that's the place you will get laid.

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BTW the linked article is absolutely hysterical.

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I'm glad you liked it.

Edit to add:

Actually, the thing you most want to look for is the parlors' closing time. The places you want will close at 10pm at the earliest.

[Howard Beale]

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Edit: if the girl is seriously busted, can you just say "no thanks" pay her and leave? lol

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I wouldn't have had to pay her. I could have just left but I wouldn't get the money I'd paid for the room back. I was really pissed at the time. There I was, out $60 for the room already, naked, horny, the tip on the table and a hooker who would never get picked standing there waiting to take care of me (it's really true that she gave a hell of a bj, thank goodness. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to 'do' anything!) That's one of the reasons some places make you pay for the room first. From now on I ask to see the girls first. If they say no I'll tell them I'll leave and go to another place. I'm sure that will make them let you see all the girls first.

[RiverFenix]

How much money have you spent at massage parlors, estimate if you have to.

[Howard Beale]

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In the hundreds.

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Do you have to go a few times w/o getting it on to establish trust with them, or anything like that?

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Absolutely not. If you don't get laid the first time you've stumbled into the wrong place or gotten unlucky with the wrong girl. Over the years that only happened to me once and all I got was a hj.

Remember, most big cities have a bunch of these places. They are in competition. The only city where I think my advice may not hold is in LV. I haven't been to one there. I have a feeling that the LVPD may lean on them real heavy. Also, they may not be relying on repeat business like the ones in any other city. Here in Phoenix there are dozens. I have a steady one but the regular girl I had (she was great) left the business and I might start looking around for another. I'll probably just ask around in the poker room or look in the New Times for some ads.

[Howard Beale]

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How much money have you spent at massage parlors, estimate if you have to.

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It's way up there, I couldn't even guess. It might be an Aston Martins' worth.

[ElDuque]

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How much money have you spent at massage parlors, estimate if you have to.

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It's way up there, I couldn't even guess. It might be an Aston Martins' worth.

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Would you say you have a problem?

[Howard Beale]

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How much money have you spent at massage parlors, estimate if you have to.

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It's way up there, I couldn't even guess. It might be an Aston Martins' worth.

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Would you say you have a problem?

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I'd say I have money.

[CheckRaise]

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How much money have you spent at massage parlors, estimate if you have to.

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It's way up there, I couldn't even guess. It might be an Aston Martins' worth.

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Would you say you have a problem?

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I'd say I have money.

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