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#1
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Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?
Hey guys.
In the coming few years, I may marry with my girlfriend. She is really nice. One thing I am thinking of is, say, after we are married, one of us has an affair. At this point, it looks extremely unlikely, but after reading some threads elsewhere I thought that I should better plan out my flowchart. How damaging is it for someone to have an affair? Does this change if there are children? Is it automatically divorce if that happens? What would be any mitigating circumstances? I am thinking of saying that we each get one chance, and after that it's instant split. Is this good? Will the marriage survive if an affair is had and discovered? Would it be better to have no chances instead? I know that wanting to have an affair is a very human thing, and is natural. We have to resist the temptation, but it can be hard for some people. Any advice? I am sure that I can bring this up with her without causing problems, our relationship is good. |
#2
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Re: Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?
you probably should never bring this up. It will be a weird conversation with no real point. You can never really know how you are going to react to infidelity until it comes up. Personally, I like to think that I might be able to forgive some mythical future wife, but who really knows. It is a broken trust, and sometimes that can neer be repaired.
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#3
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Re: Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?
DONT bring this up with your gf. Your supposed to be in love, not making a deal. Saying that you each get one chance is like saying that you will only do it once.
If you are serious about marriage, you shouldn't want to have an affair. If it happens it happens, and deal with it if it does at the time. If your future wife did have an affair, and you found out and she came and said 'well we did say we could have 1 right?'...how messed up would that be? 'oh ok honey, that's cool'. |
#4
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Re: Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?
[ QUOTE ]
DONT bring this up with your gf. [/ QUOTE ] Yep. [censored] now, think later. |
#5
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Re: Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?
This is just plain retarded. Stop talking about this immediately. You say that an affair is "extremely unlikely." Are you sure? If so, get married and live your life. If it is more likely than you say, then you need to seriously reevaluate getting married.
I'm sure there are marriages that have survived an affair. Best not to find out if yours is one of them. |
#6
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Re: Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?
[ QUOTE ]
I am sure that I can bring this up with her without causing problems [/ QUOTE ] Picture yourself in the last panel of a Konrad. |
#7
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Re: Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?
[ QUOTE ]
If you are serious about marriage, you shouldn't want to have an affair. [/ QUOTE ] There's a saying about fear - "Courage is being afraid, but doing it anyway." It could be that fidelity is sometimes wanting to have an affair, but not doing it. |
#8
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Re: Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?
Haha, I can just imagine this conversation.
"So honey, before we get married we each get one 'get out of infidelity free card', right?" "...." To be honest this is totally idiosyncratic and you'll never know whether you can forgive her until it happens. |
#9
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Re: Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?
the whole point of marriage is having children, otherwise why even call it marriage, just call if bf/gf.
by getting divorced, you risk screwing up your kids. once you have kids, i think you have to do whatever is best for them, not yourself. |
#10
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Re: Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?
Did you just watch the episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel each have a list of 5 celebs they can nail?
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