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Blowing People Off & The Social Balance Sheet
TLDR: How do you blow people off and be nice about it?
Time is a precious commodity. I have a large group of friends and acquaintances, and I don't necessarily get to see or interact with everyone as often as I would like. C'est la vie. Everyone has friends and acquaintances from whom in some sense they have "moved on." Circumstances may have changed, or common interests may no longer be shared. People in this category might be a former co-worker, someone from a sports league you were in, or an old apartment neighbor, etc. What do you do when someone contacts you for plans and you don't really want to hang out (ever)? Not because you dislike them, necessarily, but that other friends of yours have a higher priority or there are simply other more important uses of your time. * * * The people I'm talking about are usually not especially interesting or otherwise not a "gain" on the social balance sheet. Social Balance Sheet Theory People can be categorized into three groups: Type 1) those who are almost always fun to be around--you are usually glad to see one of these people added to your social setting. Type 2) those who don't necessarily bring much to the table, but you don't mind them. You would not go out of your way to make plans with a type 2 person but would gladly talk to one at a party for few minutes. Type 3) Those who not only do not bring anything to the table, but they actively detract from the group environment. They are awkward, or weird, or overly argumentative, etc. I consider "pure" type 3s to be fairly rare. * * * So if a type 2 or mixed type 2/type 3 person from your past contacts you, is the simple plan to provide polite excuses until they stop contacting you? At what point, if ever, can you start ignoring them completely without being a douchebag? |
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