Optimal number of friends

[gumpzilla]

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whats taken out of context? when you were younger one of the main reasons you had friends was to validate yourself socially, correct? If I took something wrong, I apologize. Ive never felt this way, so maybe I dont understand it, but my friends are my friends because I enjoy their company, and I assume they enjoy mine. Its fun to be around your friends, I just assumed thats why everyone had them.

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Yes, it is fun to be around them, and of course that is the point. However, one can certainly be more or less active in going out and trying to solicit new friendships. These days, I'm not going out of my way at all to try and make new friends, and so it doesn't happen very often. When I was younger, and just starting college in a new setting where I didn't know anybody, I felt a lot more urge to try and have many friends. At the time, it sort of seemed like the thing to do. A few months later, I found myself having settled down into a niche where I had a couple of good friends, and a large number of people I knew casually and socially, which was fine by me, and then settled down into my current pattern of not really pushing it. (EDIT: Also, I was getting laid steadily, which obviously was part of it.) That's more what I meant.

[guids]

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whats taken out of context? when you were younger one of the main reasons you had friends was to validate yourself socially, correct? If I took something wrong, I apologize. Ive never felt this way, so maybe I dont understand it, but my friends are my friends because I enjoy their company, and I assume they enjoy mine. Its fun to be around your friends, I just assumed thats why everyone had them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, it is fun to be around them, and of course that is the point. However, one can certainly be more or less active in going out and trying to solicit new friendships. These days, I'm not going out of my way at all to try and make new friends, and so it doesn't happen very often. When I was younger, and just starting college in a new setting where I didn't know anybody, I felt a lot more urge to try and have many friends. At the time, it sort of seemed like the thing to do. A few months later, I found myself having settled down into a niche where I had a couple of good friends, and a large number of people I knew casually and socially, which was fine by me, and then settled down into my current pattern of not really pushing it. (EDIT: Also, I was getting laid steadily, which obviously was part of it.) That's more what I meant.

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This may hae been what you meant, but it is most def not what you wrote. To me what your other posts said was "I have friends, only so I feel that Im not a social pariah", what you just wrote changes a lot of things.

[Sephus]

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I thought their point was that other people required friends for social validation. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

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It was istewerts point, but not gumps.

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it was michael scott's point.

[gumpzilla]

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This may hae been what you meant, but it is most def not what you wrote. To me what your other posts said was "I have friends, only so I feel that Im not a social pariah", what you just wrote changes a lot of things.

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Much like your second paragraph was quite a bit different in tone from what you initially wrote, no? I can't blame you for not understanding what I meant, but a response more like your second one - asking for clarification, basically - is a hell of a lot better than your first post, which I took as a "[censored] you."

[DBSpecial]

I have no friends, none at all. Certainly not optimal but it's not terrible (for me) either.

[guids]

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This may hae been what you meant, but it is most def not what you wrote. To me what your other posts said was "I have friends, only so I feel that Im not a social pariah", what you just wrote changes a lot of things.

[/ QUOTE ]

Much like your second paragraph was quite a bit different in tone from what you initially wrote, no? I can't blame you for not understanding what I meant, but a response more like your second one - asking for clarification, basically - is a hell of a lot better than your first post, which I took as a "[censored] you."

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I didnt really mean to be a dick, and it wasnt a [censored] you necessarily, but it was def a "thats a [censored] attitude to have in regards to friends"

[GuyOnTilt]

A couple years ago I had 6 friends that I was super super tight with and did everything with. That's a really high number for me. Now it's 2 or 3 at a time. I can't imagine having a number like, say, 10.

[Claunchy]

I have 8, but one of them lives several states away and another in a different continent. So 6 that I hang out with at least semi-regularly. I don't consider myself especially social either.

2 or 3 seems low to me, but maybe I'm still young.

[The DaveR]

quids, I might be wrong, but you strike me as the high end. Can you provide a number for reference?

A big reason for this is that I feel like I enjoy being alone much more than most people and I'm trying to verify.

[ViolentGandhi]

I'm 25 and I love having a large number of friends. I like being able to hang out with a large group of people. Unfortunatly I just moved to a new city, so I don't know anyone here, but I've always enjoyed hanging out in big groups of people.