Poker leading to social isolation

[thephenom]

I've been playing almost 3 years now. I started playing $5 and $10 home game tournaments with friends. I really caught onto the game, and started to play online, and learn about as much of the game as possible. I really got into reading books, learning player bios, and following the poker scene through radio shows like Rounders. I mostly consider myself to be an internet player now. All of my friends still play the game on a casual level at home games, and none of them has taken the opportunity to learn it on a more serious level.

I've been able to learn alot about the game over the past 3 years. I've come pretty far from where I started and it has felt very rewarding. The downside to learning this great skill and talent is it can be a very lonely hobby at times.

I've been able to share a couple of hightlights. I won a trip to play in the Ultimate Poker Challenge online, and my friend was logged in and watching me play the final table from his home. It felt really good to have someone there, cheering me on for that. Another highlight, was when I was able to meet one of the Full Tilt pros in person at a nightclub. My buddies were there and met him too. He was a really cool down to earth guy, and very approachable and easy to talk to.

Other than, all my other hightlights have been we winning in tournaments online, and my buds get to hear about it afterwards. Poker doesn't have that same commraderie of winning in a team sport like Football or Basketball, where all the guys can enjoy a great accomplishment.

Even the activities involved in becoming better like the studying, posting, reading, and playing online can be real isolating. I sometimes feel I lose touch with reality after playing for awhile.

I guess in a way, I use poker to escape from reality, and thats what causes me to lose touch. It allows me to focus on the game, strategy, and opponents, and avoid real world issues like my life, career and people around me. Some people think pokers really tough - and it is; but alot of the time, I find it alot easier, and alot more fair than real life. Real life can be alot tougher to play and figure out. Poker, at least you know the odds, the situations, and that there are only 52 possible cards. Life can really just leave you guessing what will be dealt next.

If anyone else has any stories about dealing with poker and its effect on isolating you from others and losing touch with reality, I'd love to hear them. Forums like this have been the best way I've found to get in touch with others, and share ideas when it comes to poker.

[invid]

heres my little story...

Me and about 7 of my best friends would play every single night during a 6 month period..and by every night I mean basically at least 5 night out of the week. We would do $10 buyins and have it like a tourney style. After the 6 months most of them stopped playing, couple of them started playing golf, and the others just got over it all. Basically just me and my buddy were the only original ones left. So we started going out to casinos, we both have fake ids and at 17-18 were/are making what kids our age make in a year at some of the mid stakes to somewhat high stakes games around so cal..usually like 500nl-2knl, we play live about 3-5 times a week. We arn't that socially isolated though, I really do believe that if you start focusing 100% on poker, the rest of your life is going to go to [censored]..friends, school, family etc etc. Even though my buddy and I are known as the "gamblers, poker players etc" to just about everyone we know, we still make time for our social lives.

Over the summer I would wakup around noon, play live till about 8pm, then go out with friends..repeat repeat repeat. After like two weeks of this I did get pretty sick of poker, I was probably a winner 2/3 days playing live but I was just getting sick of sitting in a card room for 8 hours a day. Luckily for me, my first year of college just started so I can focus more on school. It was pretty weird though because for the first couple weeks of sitting in class I really was just thinking about dropping out and trying to go pro or just play poker for a couple years..see where it takes me. For a couple days I got really really serious about this idea and was actually talking to my friend about it. I realized that even though it sounds so much better right now, its going to be -EV for me in the long run if I go out into the world with just a high school diploma...companies arn't going to hire me just because I can check raise some donk...

Basically poker has only really isolated me from things that I dont even care much about anymore. So from one point of view its a good thing I guess, just as long as I stick to my original plan and I don't go officially busto..I can stop myself from going [censored] crazy

[Rek]

Generally speaking, poker is an individual pastime – it is not a team event. Using your analogy, if you compare it to sport it is say tennis as opposed to football. Nothing wrong in that and I particularly enjoy that aspect. I rely on nobody and nobody relies on me. I make my decisions and am answerable only to me.

If however you are saying it is having a detrimental effect on your non-poker life then we are dipping into the world of addiction. As in all things you need to keep a balance and be happy with your choices. Perhaps re-think your relationship with poker and take a break.

Whatever you decide I wish you luck.

[DBSpecial]

[ QUOTE ]

If however you are saying it is having a detrimental effect on your non-poker life then we are dipping into the world of addiction. As in all things you need to keep a balance and be happy with your choices. Perhaps re-think your relationship with poker and take a break.


[/ QUOTE ]
This is the standard line about poker, but I'm not sure how far I agree with it. There seem to be some double standards when comparing poker to other 'more valuable' areas of life. There's very little stigma attached to the workaholic who spends most of his time at work and the rest of it thinking about work. Likewise with hobby enthusiasts, Motorcycle nuts and the like.
While it seems that most people approve of 'moderation in all things', the majority feel that poker should be moderated more than most.

[RydenStoompala]

Where's the freaking mystery? Poker involves spending long periods of time with groups of degenerate gamblers, social swine, tv wannabe's and psychopaths. It's a great game to visit, but a really awful place to live, despite any media imagery to the contrary. Anyone who thinks that long-term exposure to the lifestyle will not, in all likelihood, turn them into casino meat, is delusional. All due respect to Doyle and the extremely high-end hustlers who have made a genuine career out of poker. The other 99% are bumming chips in the cage line and sitting by themselves in crappy apartments.

[Rek]

what's your apartment number again?

[thephenom]

[ QUOTE ]
It's a great game to visit, but a really awful place to live, despite any media imagery to the contrary. Anyone who thinks that long-term exposure to the lifestyle will not, in all likelihood, turn them into casino meat, is delusional. All due respect to Doyle and the extremely high-end hustlers who have made a genuine career out of poker. The other 99% are bumming chips in the cage line and sitting by themselves in crappy apartments.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think poker might be just a visiting place for me. Like you said man, all that glory, money, fame that they show on tv is for only a chosen few. The average experience with poker is far less glamorous, with far more detrimental effects than they show in the media.

I'm no degenerate who is losing money; but I've taken away time from my education, and taken time from other socially healthier, more productive activities.

I was at a point in my poker life, where I was contemplating taking it as far as I could possibly go. I think I'm at the turning point now, where I will change from being a daily online player, to a guy who plays in home games once a month.

Online poker has been my #1 hobby for the past 3 years, but I think its taken me away from my life too much. It's been a very rewarding ride to learn the game and grow for the past 3 years, but I've also neglected things that deserved more priority.

I really think its time for me to step away from the game very shortly. It's been a great ride with some memorable highlights and great experiences. I can't say I plan on retiring, but I'm sure it will be an extended absence.

[Pyro12345]

lol I have an identical situation to you... You really should just quit. If your up a bunch, like I am, you can quit without feeling shame.

Think about all the degens at the casino, and those lonely nights driving home with an empty pocket. Your a college student, you should figure something else to do with your life.

[sickofants]

I don't think that it is necessarily that way round. That is, I think that those who value their alone time are more likely to take to poker beyond a recreational level. Perhaps once you get to this stage, you might become more isolated, but I don't believe that a previously outgoing person becomes socially isolated as a result of poker.

I like my alone time an awful lot. If I had to either spend the rest of my waking hours either in the company of others or completely alone, I'm sure I'd go insane quicker in the company of other people. You get the idea. Anyway, as one who prefers his own company, I like to do alone activities. Internet poker is one of these - reading & watching TV are the other main ones. I perhaps give the poker a little more time than the others simply because it is more profitable. When it takes up all of my time and stops being merely a profitable hobby then maybe I'll re-evaluate but right now I'm happy with the situation. I isolated myself, poker didn't isolate me.

[thephenom]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't think that it is necessarily that way round. That is, I think that those who value their alone time are more likely to take to poker beyond a recreational level. Perhaps once you get to this stage, you might become more isolated, but I don't believe that a previously outgoing person becomes socially isolated as a result of poker.

I like my alone time an awful lot. If I had to either spend the rest of my waking hours either in the company of others or completely alone, I'm sure I'd go insane quicker in the company of other people. You get the idea. Anyway, as one who prefers his own company, I like to do alone activities. Internet poker is one of these - reading & watching TV are the other main ones. I perhaps give the poker a little more time than the others simply because it is more profitable. When it takes up all of my time and stops being merely a profitable hobby then maybe I'll re-evaluate but right now I'm happy with the situation. I isolated myself, poker didn't isolate me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can definetely understand you're point. I would enjoy my alone time more if my life away from poker was full of social activity. If I had a job where I was meeting alot of people and interacting alot, it would be nice in the evening s to take a break from that. What kind of job do you have?

I just found work was no place to interact or meet girls. My friends were getting lame for going out. Poker started to take up more of my time, and there for isolated me more than I already needed to be.

My personality of being a procrastinator + being a poker player, led me to avoiding alot of responsibility and putting off things I should have previously done. That is probably the most dysfunctional part of my relationship with poker.