Illegal Alien

[funkytown]

Interesting....

4-18-07

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service,
I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department
of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming
an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the
Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's
provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United
States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a
$2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a
good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started
before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the
local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I
have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant
figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law
school applications, as well as " in-state" tuition rates for many
colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me
of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome
car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that
I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040

[ShakeZula06]

This is either old or a duplicate. Still kind of funny though.

[mark_foley]

in before lock?

[funkytown]

Is it really that funny?

[ShakeZula06]

[ QUOTE ]
Is it really that funny?

[/ QUOTE ]
What, are you that upset about some poor illegal aliens that came here to avoid starving in their own countries aren't paying much in taxes? I say good for them. Just because we get screwed over doesn't mean they should.

[cardcounter0]

Date: Mon, 30 Jul 2001 02:41:27 -0700 (PDT)

Subject: TREAT AS URGENT CONFIDENTIAL

FROM Donald Ruppert
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA
TEL 228 0-5-5-1-5-2
LOME - TOGO

ATTN: Funkytown

I am Donald Ruppert, the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of international bank of Africa Lome-Togo in west Africa with due respect and regards. I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction.

During our investigation and audting in this bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased person who died on November 1997 in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his account with this bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery to this development.

Although personally, I kept this information secret within myself and partner to enable the whole plans and idea be pofitable and successful during the time of execution. The said amount was USD$14m (fourtheen million united states dorllars). As it may intrest you to know, I got your impressive information through my good friend who works with chamber of commerce on foriegn business relations here in Lome-Togo. It is him who recommended your person to me to be viable and capable to champion a business of such magnitude without any problem. Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the deceased, get the required approval and transfer this money to a foriegn account has been put in place and directives and needed information will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your intrest and willingness to assist us and also benefit your self to this great business opportunity.

In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil servant, we are not allowed to operate a foriegn account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of transfer because I work in this bank. This is the actual reason why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin with affidavit of trust of Oath to the bank and also present a foriegn account where he will need the money to be re-transfered into on his request as it may be after due verification and clarification by designation bank account.

I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free. On smoth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitiled to 30% of the total sum as gratification, while 10% will be set aside to take care of expenses that may arise during the time of transfer and also telephone bills, while 60% will be for me and my partners. Please,you have been adviced to keep top secret as we are still in service and intend to retire from service after we conclude this deal with you. I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm the money in your account. And ask us to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment, either in your country or any country you advice us to invest in.All other necessary information will be sent to you when I hear from you.I suggest you get back to me as soon as possible stating your wish in this deal.

Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA

[SNOWBALL]

[ QUOTE ]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


What, are you that upset about some poor illegal aliens that came here to avoid starving in their own countries aren't paying much in taxes? I say good for them. Just because we get screwed over doesn't mean they should.


[/ QUOTE ]

BUT BUT BUT, they be stealin my jobs

[XXXNoahXXX]

[ QUOTE ]
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the
local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I
have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant
figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

[/ QUOTE ]

WOW. sounds like a great deal! The emergency room is super efficient!


Also, this is very very old and equally as dumb.

[NeBlis]

All illegals who are not paid cash pay taxes. Most of them make up a SS# so the government takes the money, never issues a refund, or SS payment and laughs all the way to the bank at you morans complaining about a "drain on the system"

[DVaut1]

Hey Iron,

Any way we can sticky this letter, so that next month, when someone wants to post this again, we can point to the sticky and say "hey, look at the sticky, we've seen this already"?

Maybe just a "don't copy and paste chain mail from your Lou Dobbs Fanclub listserve" rule would do the trick.