Hudgest beat!!!

[disasterflop]

cliff notes:
girlfriend was drunk and thought i was cheating when i wasnt.
girlfriend cut up everyone of my shirts but the 3 in the washing machine.
got fired 2 days earlier


so my girlfriend gets to my house at 12am(drunk obv). im out boozing at the bars and have no clue she is calling. 4:30am my phone rings and girls driving me and buddy home wants to answer to say hi. driving girl answers. my girl" who the fak is this batch!!!" why you answering my mans phone and demands to talk to me. me "hey babe". her " who the fak is that batch!!! u fakin her?" so im drunk and get pissed!!! sarcasically i say" yeah so what if i am" we start laughing and make sexy time noises. the girl driving me home is honestly 250lbs n butt muggly. she coninutes to blast me, i hang up. i get home 2 hrs later cause im like screw her lets go drink some more(my buddy is ridding in the front seat im in the back). so after our dd drives us to my house she is gone and we go in play a little madden drink some more n pass out on the coutchs(8am). get up(5:30pm), shower, shave, eat. time to go to the casino boat. go to my closet to get a shirt. what happens next? i grab one of my favorite polos n there is a hole in it(im thinking, i must have did that drunk one night). next shirt? sliced!!! next? cut!!! next? burnt!!! dis batch got everyone of my nice shirts!!!!!!!!! bout (1200 in unwearables now). good thing i lost my job 2 days earlier.

discus

[RickAstleyFan]

Make sure she didn't poke holes in your condoms too.

[keikiwai]

what a batch

[disasterflop]

good thing my room mate bought me one of those tuxedo t-shirts a few days ago so i can at least have one dress shirt lol

[Labarde]

[X] who the fak is that batch!!! u fakin her?

[Trogdor!]

beat: you didn't even get sexy time

[im a model]

souns like you gotta cut a hole in a bitches face yo

[disasterflop]

[X] def did not fak batch

girl i worked with sister who was just at the same bar n offered me a ride cause my car is imaginary right now

[Labarde]

so have u talked to hole cutter girl since she wrackd your [censored]?

[disasterflop]

hellz no ...she came back with a knife. had to call the cops. sad thing she is a 9. but ill be damned if she is not whacked out in the head. she looks almost exactly like this chick but with Ds