flame email to FTP, tl;dr

[DaAznFella]

so i've been on mind-bending tilt the last few days, caused mostly by this type of thing:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...=3#Post11873217

Tonight I wrote this to FTP, to what ends I am not sure. It helped me vent I guess. Comments welcome.
Hello,
According to PokerEV (i'm sure someone at your company knows what this software is), i'm about $15k below equity (about 30 buyins) over the summer. I'm talking about a sample size of over 80 thousand hands. Running this bad over such a prolonged stretch is seemingly impossible. It makes me question the integrity of your card shuffling algorithms. The worst hands seems to win an impossible amount of the time. If this keeps up my account will be busto and I will be unable to further line the pockets of your fat officers with thousands of dollars in rake each month. I'm not sure why I am writing this email because I know nothing will come of it. At other, some would say more reputable, poker sites, they would respond to an inquiry of this type with at least some sort of stress ball or teddy bear. I don't think you have these available in your abysmal FPP store, but I'm just throwing it out there. If you send me links to your "card integrity" testing site or whatever other [censored] I will strongly consider taking my business elsewhere.
I'm not sure what it is about me or my account that makes your shuffle algorithm despise me, but it would absolutely lovely if I could change my account name, or if you developed a better "random" shuffler.
Love,
Lee Hoytt (I currently play on your joke site under the name "azn fella")

P.S. I'm aware that this e-mail has been abundantly hateful, but if the present circumstances continue unaltered I will no longer to be able to play poker on your site, which would be a shame for everyone.

P.P.S. I literally received an email from Full Tilt not more than 20 seconds ago telling me that my chat privileges were being abused. I can only claim that repeated suckouts have made me very angry and would have the same emotional effect on anyone. Suspend my chat if you must, but just know that my "infractions," which, despite containing cussing, at least were not racist or feminist or anything like that, were not unprovoked. Thank you.

flame away!!!

[ryang]

big lol

[DaAznFella]

i feel like my posts here in this forum are under-appreciated [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[silenced]

i laughed..........rly.........rly...........rly hard. I would pick out a certain sentence, but tbh the entire thing was hysterical and well-written.

A++

[plzleenowhammy]

[ QUOTE ]
Suspend my chat if you must, but just know that my "infractions," which, despite containing cussing, at least were not racist or feminist

[/ QUOTE ]

wha?

[daume]

GL :P Post their answer [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Kirbynator]

can we "chatban" you from here too?

[Josh.]

stop feeling bad for yourself. you don't play particularly well and i have graphs that would put yours to shame. it's just a program. it's not perfect. every graph i've ever produced on that thing has me running below expectation. it's a fun novelty program but not much more than that. if you want to make money, get better at poker.

[ar0use]

[ QUOTE ]
stop feeling bad for yourself. you don't play particularly well and i have graphs that would put yours to shame. it's just a program. it's not perfect. every graph i've ever produced on that thing has me running below expectation. it's a fun novelty program but not much more than that. if you want to make money, get better at poker.

[/ QUOTE ]
QFMFT

[im a model]

AND THIS ONE TIME I LOST WITH POCKET ACES!! I ALWAYS LOSE AND I NEVER WIN! EVERYTIME!