Beat or brag? My english essay

[bluffmenot]

This is an english essay I wrote and got back from my english teacher a week ago. Got 92 points out of 99 (like A on american scale I think) and that's the best result I've ever scored. I go to upper secondary school in Finland, can you believe that?

Here's the story:



"Once in a lifetime



I think it was somewhere around January when I visited the Helsinki Grand Casino for the very first time. I remember coming there somewhere around eight o'clok and noticing how the pokerroom was already full of gamblers

After four to five hours of waiting I finally got a seat on one table where they played no limit texas hold 'em with two hundred euro buy-in. I was sitting right next to the dealer and my first dealt hand was a queen-jack offsuit.

I limped in in a raised pot and the flop was queen high with two hearts in it. It was a heads up situation with me versus some semiprofessional player. Of course I bet my top pair and got called. The turn was a third queen, which gave me a set but it didn't complete the flush draw. I bet again not knowing what my villain had. And then there was the river dealt: the fourth and the last queen in the deck. I was holding the nuts. I can not say if my hands were shaking or not but I bet for the last time and this time I got raised. Maybe the villain had a full house and didn't believe I was holding a queen or then he was just bluffing. I had to go all-in to call the raise and the villain showed a busted flush draw, which means he had nothing and the two-hundred-euro pot was shipped to me.

Everyone congratulated me and I was really happy to double up in the first hand I ever played. I left the casino and cashed out a bit over three hundred euros, took a cab home and propably fell asleep with a smile on my face."

Do you agree with my teacher or would you give me even higher or lower points? Feedback accepted.

[mbillie1]

[ QUOTE ]
propably fell asleep

[/ QUOTE ]

"propably" is not a word. "Promptly" or "probably" would fit.

Beat: I'm point out mistakes in your english essay

[tshort]

F-

1. You turned trips, not a set.

2. You waited 4-5 hours for a seat, doubled up right away, and left? lol

[timw07]

OP Please:

[SkeetyMcdoogle]

Man there must be some dumb mother Fers in Finland if that is an A quality essay

[bluffmenot]

I kinda was waiting for this to happen. Just wanted to see if you really were so rude as expected.

Never remember how to type "probably" correct. And as I got to the table about 1am I played till the casino was closed 4am and left after that. Anyways, I think it was a good trip for a first timer: tripled up from €100 (as I didn't buy in with the full €200). Don't u think so?

[BowToYourSensei]

you suck at life

[isapistola]

i dont know where to start.

1. you make me feel ashamed of my nationality.
2. your teacher/classmates must be retarded if this is one of the best essays of the class.
3. the title is so cheesy i wouldnt even bother reading it if i was your teacher.

[ QUOTE ]
I remember coming there

[/ QUOTE ]
how about arriving?

[ QUOTE ]
with two hundred euro buy-in.

[/ QUOTE ]
with A two hundred euro buy-in. the minimum buy-in is actually 50 euros, good job at misleading the readers.

[ QUOTE ]
my first dealt hand was a queen-jack offsuit.

[/ QUOTE ]
you cant refer to two cards as "a queen-jack" in written language. i would rephrase this "the first hand that was dealt to me...".

[ QUOTE ]
I limped in in a raised pot and the flop was queen high with two hearts in it.

[/ QUOTE ]
you cant limp in to a raised pot. the "in it" in the end of the sentence is useless. you cant assume the reader knows poker lingo like "limp, flop, queen high, offsuit, nuts" etc.

[ QUOTE ]
some semiprofessional player.

[/ QUOTE ]
if an unemployed person who happens to play poker is a semiprofessional then yes, otherwise no. according to your story he seems like some spewing drunk idiot.

[ QUOTE ]
I bet again not knowing what my villain had.

[/ QUOTE ]
youre playing poker without knowing what your opponents have?!

[ QUOTE ]
And then there was the river dealt

[/ QUOTE ]
are you serious here? this line (or verbal vomit) sums up your essay pretty well.

i wouldnt honestly rate this essay anything higher than 60 points.

please tell me what class youre on in "lukio" and what city you live in [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[bigt2k4]

where is the thesis?

[bluffmenot]

Wow.. sorry. I didn't realise it was that bad.