Most embarrassing fart cover up story?

[Blarg]

Definitely funny story.

[traz]

This girl used to always tell me to flex and she'd punch me in the stomach. However, one time I was flexing and she punched me, and right when she hit me, I farted an audibly loud fart.

"Damn, you knocked the wind out of me"

[recondite7]

Been with my girlfriend almost 3 years now. First or second date at her place I accidently fart and I immediately look up and blame it on her. I wasn't even joking either I guess I was so nervous that I just said something really stupid. Luckily as retarded as this was she didn't seem to care.

Beat: 3 years later she is "comfortable" around me and farts all the time. I hate this and don't think it is cool and really wish she would stop.

[CrazyIrishman]

I remember being in a food fight in the cafeteria in elem. school and getting taken to the principals office with the other kids. As the principal was scolding us, I leaned to the side to let out an SBDF and to my surprise, I ripped a 70 decibel cloud of stench. Wow was the principal pissed.

[TheBlueMonster]

so this one time I was in gym class and there was this girl who I kinda liked and I had to fart. I tried to casually walk to the bathroom, but as I opened the door I let a little squeaker out. The kid standing near me heard it and gave me this look like "woah dude, that's nasty". He was the only one who heard so I pulled him into the bathroom and slammed his head against the walls until his skull made a cracking sound and blood came out of his eyes. When I went back out I didn't notice that some of the blood had gotten on my shorts and people starting laughing and asking if I had my period. It was so embarassing!

[absoludicrous]

I blatantly ripped ass in the kitchen during our tour of the kitchen at Buca Di Beppo tonight. It was awesome.

[TheRempel]

This one is about not even trying to cover, even though it's probably the most prudent course of action.

I was at my buddy's place a few years ago playing Baldur's Gate or something on the PS2 at about 3:00 am. His girlfriend had gone to bed a few hours earlier and was sleeping in the bedroom about 20 feet away.

We'd made some hotass chili for supper and during the middle of a level, he lifted his leg to let one rip.Out came the wettest loudest fart I have ever heard. I actually heard the [censored] splashing against the inside of his legs. I turned to him and he had a horrible look on his face.

He proceeded to stand up, go into the bathroom, and I heard the shower running. 5 minutes later he comes out, goes into the bedroom, and his girlfriend drowsily asked "What's going on?"

"Nothing honey, I just [censored] my pants."

They are now engaged to be married. WTF

[absoludicrous]

[ QUOTE ]
Out came the wettest loudest fart I have ever heard. I actually heard the [censored] splashing against the inside of his legs.

[/ QUOTE ]

Like this noise?

[ShineOn]

passed out hammered with a chick next to me on the couch. remember waking up in the middle of the night to my extremely loud fart. i was drunk and i sleep very well so all i remember is waking up for a second. i wake up to a note saying "thanks for letting me spend the night, blah blah blah". i have spoken to this girl many times since, but still do not know if she was present at the time. either way, i am embarassed every time....it was brutal.

[ManChild]

ZOMG, that kid was me
im gonna come to your house on thanksgiving and kick you in the nuts in front of your entire family and GF(my sister)