Do you want to have children?

[Henry17]

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I think it's extremely unethical to bring new life into this world when there are millions of starving children overseas.

Discuss.

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You can't just say something in unethical. Since you are making the claim you should start off by explaining why it is unethical.

[entertainme]

For those asking for a defintion of the intangible benefits, you know that everyday ordinary guy in the movies, who suddenly becomes an all out super hero when his family is threatened? That's what having kids does to you. Inside you're that guy all the time because you are responsible for these people you love. You would do anything for them. You won't understand the depth of how this feels and how it changes you until you live it.

I'd also recommend reading dcasper's Post if your wife is pregnant thread.

The Poker Mom

[reo]

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I have some good friends who are in their early sixties. They are both wealthy profesionals who chose their lifestyle over having children. They now admit that it was the biggest mistake of their lives and that they could not have foreseen how it would effect them in later life.

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Why do they regret their decision? Specifically why do they feel their life is worse because of the choice they made?

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Because money and fame isn't everything.

[Peter Harris]

New to thread, me 24, her 26, no we don't plan on having kids but always say it in the "ha ha i know we're too damn young and our attitude will change" voice.

[tarheeljks]

people seem to be against having their own kids when there are kids all ready in need, so to those w/kids: do you think you would have loved an adopted child as much you love your own offspring?

[Henry17]

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Because money and fame isn't everything.

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True. I'd say having fun and enjoying life is what matters. A child though would greatly interfere with both of those.

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For those asking for a defintion of the intangible benefits, you know that everyday ordinary guy in the movies, who suddenly becomes an all out super hero when his family is threatened? That's what having kids does to you. Inside you're that guy all the time because you are responsible for these people you love.

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I would argue that if someone is accomplished they will already feel that way even without children. But for arguments sake lets assume that I would get some of this euphoric feeling from having a child. Is the gain from that really enough to counterbalance the negative of now having a relatively boring 15-16 years?

I can't answer that for other people but for myself I know that isn't the case. In ordering preferences I'd put death above a boring existence so even if I gained somewhat by having a child at most it would bring me up to content while by not having a child I am already at very happy.

[reo]

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A child though would greatly interfere with both of those.


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Stop being naive. Let it go . . .

Drop the John Searle [censored] . . .

[Henry17]

Why am I being naive? Having a child = boring life for at least the 15-16 years until the child can be fairly independent. For myself no abstract positive feeling could ever be worth losing such a large percentage of the good years. It might be the correct choice for some but certainly not all. I know what I want out of life and it does not include being limited by children. To think everyone wants the same things is naive.

[duckman]

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Need more parents to post in this so they convince all you idiots that kids are likely the most rewarding part of your life.

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If they are going to do that then they need to actually name specifics of how having children has improved their lives. Most of the time it is just abstract and meaningless statements like having children is "amazing" or having children was the best thing I ever did.

They never explain how or why children improved their life only that they did. The negatives of having children are pretty easy to list so why are the benefits such abstract concepts?

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Benefits include:
Give Love
Receive Love
Nurturing
Patience
Fun
Seeing the world anew through unblemished, non synical eyes
Working with someone towards a goal that is greater than yourself
Having your child reach up and grab your hand
Wrestling with your kids
Plyaing Wii/video games with kids
Eating Cheetos with your kids
Going to Disneyland and watching them skip all day
Putting on home plays
Playing hide n seek
Playing baseball
Going skating
Playing soccer
Having your son say "There are no such thing as bad people only bad manners"
Watching your kids suceed at learning
Watching Shrek Toy Story with kids
Teachng your kids manners
Having your 3 year old tell you "you don't have to talk to me that way just b/c you are frustrated"
Holding your kid when they are crying
Being there for your kid when they are sick/hurt
Building legos
Going for a walk with your toddler having him point to a car and go "auto"
Having both your kids win the VIP award 2 times in the school year both for "Integrity"
Changing your kids diapers
Cooking your kids mac an cheese jus tthe way they like it.
Having someone who ask's "Where's Dad" or "Dad will you play with me?
Having your 9 year old son tell you that his idea of a dream weekend was the one that just transpired where you had a weekend marthathon of japination.
Realizing that you could learn from your kids about being mor open and honest.
Paying $150/hr for your kid to see a child psychologist and realizing that he carries the same issues as you and that if you don't heal maybe he won't either.
Realizing your kids are spoiled and that they have a shelterd life compared to the abuse you suffered as a child but being grateful that you could stop the bs at this generation.

Realizing that it was the best decision you have ever made.
The only one you never regretted or doubted from the moment they were born.
Specific enough for you?

How long a list are looking for - I could be here all day.

[Henry17]

Which is why parenthood was possabily the correct decision for you. I find all of the items listed either neutral or negative. Most of them I see as negative. There is not a single one I view as a positive.