It's ok to profile jellybeans

[burningyen]

I recently went to a convention where a law firm passed out little packets of jellybeans celebrating racial diversity. The little note in the packet reads:

[ QUOTE ]
This candy is just like people—you cannot determine what is on the inside by simply looking at the outside. Diversity Jellybeans remind us to experience people one at a time and enjoy their unique qualities. ~iCelebrateDiversity.com

[/ QUOTE ]

The packet contains 6 jellybeans: red, yellow, green, black, white and orange. I think to myself, “Hmm, this is clever. I guess if I want to avoid eating a licorice-flavored jellybean, which I hate with a passion, I should just start with the black one." So I did.

Result: black jellybeans really are always licorice.

[RoundGuy]

Hmmmm. I'm going to let others decide about this post....

[eviljeff]

I enjoyed the little anecdote.

now let's turn this into a "This candy is just like people, ______" thread

[mbillie1]

Not only are the black jellybeans always licorice, but they're also more likely to commit violent crimes and leech off of the welfare system. Yellow jellybeans can't drive for sh*t and the red ones are always stealing my f**king rakes and shovels and sh*t.

[Tony_P]

[ QUOTE ]
I recently went to a convention where a law firm passed out little packets of jellybeans celebrating racial diversity. The little note in the packet reads:

[ QUOTE ]
This candy is just like people—you cannot determine what is on the inside by simply looking at the outside. Diversity Jellybeans remind us to experience people one at a time and enjoy their unique qualities. ~iCelebrateDiversity.com

[/ QUOTE ]

The packet contains 6 jellybeans: red, yellow, green, black, white and orange. I think to myself, “Hmm, this is clever. I guess if I want to avoid eating a licorice-flavored jellybean, which I hate with a passion, I should just start with the black one." So I did.

Result: black jellybeans really are always licorice.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the funniest thing I've read in a while

[RoundGuy]

[ QUOTE ]
Not only are the black jellybeans always licorice, but they're also more likely to commit violent crimes and leech off of the welfare system. Yellow jellybeans can't drive for sh*t and the red ones are always stealing my f**king rakes and shovels and sh*t.

[/ QUOTE ]
And the green ones are always abducting people and probing your anus. What's up with that?

[Hawklet]

Yeah but it isn't the blackness that makes it taste like licorice, the blackness and licorice are caused by the same thing though.

EDIT: which is, of course, evilness

[Peter Harris]

tangential, i know but:

next time any of the few people here who cook are doing a dessert, Heston Blumenthal recommends doing 2 seperate jellies - a blood orange and a beetroot jelly.

If you take them in and tell the people eating one is orange and one is beetroot, they will immediately assume the red one is beetroot - when actually blood orange jelly is red, and beetroot jelly is orange. It's a good way to f**k with people's preconceptions.

Actually, most of his cooking is about that.

[Senor Cardgage]

Most threads of this nature suck. Really, really hard.

This one is awesome, though. Congrats. The anecdote is interesting, relateable, and funny. And I'm drunk. And licorice jelly beans are still pretty good.

I hate it when you think something is fruit flavored and it's actually some random-kind-of-spice-flavored. WTF. Not cool, gringo. Not cool.

[blackize]

NSFW scroll down to J ldo

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