jokes you've made IRL that flopped

[qdmcg]

[ QUOTE ]
11th grade health class.

The teacher is blabbing about unprotected sex. This is purely a lecture and not like a question and answer thing.

He says, obviously rhetorically, "And then what do you do when your girlfriend gets pregnant because you had unprotected sex."

I thought it would be really funny, at the time, to respond loudly with "kick her in the stomach," so I responded with that.

The class was completely silent. Then the teacher yelled at me. Then the teacher made me apologize.

[/ QUOTE ]


excellent cant stop laughing

[XXXNoahXXX]

[ QUOTE ]
i joke around all the time..and i sound like OP and i'm also very crude like Noah...so i can take it too far. I don't usually bomb much b/c it's so damn funny to me other people laugh. but yeah, laughing at me. One joke i definitely remember bombing, that i told years ago at college..Pepperdine is a christian school but mostly academic reputation..but many christians.

So i'm at school, snack area- a good 20-30 people around. At the time there was controversy about the abortion morning after pill in France being legalized in the US. So i bust out the christians answer to the morning after pill RU486, is RU469. no laughs. just stares.

[/ QUOTE ]

took me a second, but this is pretty hilarious.

[Wilpro]

First week at uni, was in an assembly hall and we were given an introductry speech etc. Then this women came on and was telling us about rape alarms, and why the girls should have them for late at night etc etc. The a few minutes later, this hot girl (9/10ish)called anna got up to go to the toilet. A few seconds later, my housemate got up to go too, and i said a little too loudly to another friend 'Hope anna's got her rape alarm'. Got about 100 people turn around in front of me and just stare at me with a disgusted look, with my friend just cracking up... obv went smooth irl than how i explain it!

[Kimbell175113]

I rarely go for a joke or even speak all that much in class or around people I don't know all that well. When I do, though, I usually get laughs, especially because no one expects it. Sometimes, though, that means they're not ready for it; they hear me, think for a minute, look at me funny, then just move on.

Once in an English class we were talking about movie adaptations of books. We went through the standard "book is better" discussion, then to cases where they were equal, then to the other end of the spectrum: the teacher asked for great movies based on awful books. I immediately blurted out "The Passion of the Christ."

[eviljeff]

val: somehow ive always been friends with crowds of rowdy boys....
val: even assh*les
val: but theyre nice underneath
evil: once you reach the lower intestine?
evil: ZING

[Aces McGee]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i joke around all the time..and i sound like OP and i'm also very crude like Noah...so i can take it too far. I don't usually bomb much b/c it's so damn funny to me other people laugh. but yeah, laughing at me. One joke i definitely remember bombing, that i told years ago at college..Pepperdine is a christian school but mostly academic reputation..but many christians.

So i'm at school, snack area- a good 20-30 people around. At the time there was controversy about the abortion morning after pill in France being legalized in the US. So i bust out the christians answer to the morning after pill RU486, is RU469. no laughs. just stares.

[/ QUOTE ]

took me a second, but this is pretty hilarious.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, this is very, very good.

-McGee

[T-God]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

"When I was a kid I went out to Missouri, visiting my great grandparents. When I was there I saw a caterpillar museum, which seemed really crazy to me. I actually liked it a lot though, and I tried to go back a few years later, but it had turned into a butterfly museum."

[/ QUOTE ]

I actually really liked this one

[/ QUOTE ]
Me too.

I never really bomb because I always really enjoy my own jokes. Then if no one else laughs, I find that really funny too. I have a great time telling terrible or offensive jokes.

[scpi10]

[ QUOTE ]
I rarely go for a joke or even speak all that much in class or around people I don't know all that well. When I do, though, I usually get laughs, especially because no one expects it. Sometimes, though, that means they're not ready for it; they hear me, think for a minute, look at me funny, then just move on.

Once in an English class we were talking about movie adaptations of books. We went through the standard "book is better" discussion, then to cases where they were equal, then to the other end of the spectrum: the teacher asked for great movies based on awful books. I immediately blurted out "The Passion of the Christ."

[/ QUOTE ]

GOLD

[gatorch0mp]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I know I've bombed some jokes in my day, but luckily I and pretty much everyone around forgets them once I get one right. I'm sure I'll bomb at least one or two this weekend, so will update.

Also, I think classrooms are a bad place to judge whether or not a joke bombs. For instance, one of the best jokes I've ever heard would probably be considered a "bomb" based on response. A professor had missed the last class for unknown reasons and it turned out she had gone to the doctor and found out she was pregnant. The next class she put a picture of the ultrasound on the projector and my friend blurted out "That baby looks nothing like me." HI-larious, but very little laughter.

[/ QUOTE ]

this joke was A+

[/ QUOTE ]



Woulda laughed my ass off.... this is great.

I wonder if it would have been more or less awkward if the professor was male?

[MiloMinderbinder]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, my joke was along the lines that, "Gary Condit issued a press release about the whearabouts of Chandra Levy. Good news: She contacted him this morning; Bad news, she was calling from the World Trade Center."

[/ QUOTE ]

Considering the WTC didn't exist anymore, I'd say that wasn't really funny on any level.