Teen pregnancy (Or:I'm too young to be a dad)

[Blarg]

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Give your head a shake. Having an abortion = trauma, but you think giving up a live child and living with that would be easier??? Also, naive to think that anybody that adopts the child (except a relative) would want the biological parents butting in and confusing the kid.

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I think giving a child up for adoption would be easier for both of us than getting an abortion...Not saying it would be easy, but certainly easier than an abortion.

I didn't say that I would want to be like a second dad to the kid if he or she was adopted...But I would certainly want to meet the child at some point in his or her life.

People saying I don't have a clue are, for the most part, correct. I'm not even 18, what the hell am I supposed to know about raising a child and all the things that go with it?

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In an adoption, most likely that choice will not be yours, ever. The adoptive parents obviously want to be THE parents, and unless they tell the kid at some point (which many do), and the kid wants to find you, you will never know where this kid is. Again, this is probably nothing, but I just want to disabuse of any illusions about what happens. My friend decided to find his biological mom and they now have a relationship, but he didn't do this until he was in his 30's, so to think that you will ever see this theoretical child before you are 40 is unrealistic.

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You are being naive. There is such a shortage of healthy white babies in this country(and people don't want to adopt black babies) that many adoption agencies will in fact set a plan like this up for the biological parents.

That said, abortion is still a viable option.

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I'm black...

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My bad. In that case you will never get a plan like that. Sad to say it but there's just a higher demand for white babies. I guess it's the product of the racist society we live in. I would really push her to consider an abortion if I were you because it's going to be tough for her to give the baby up once it's born. It's a lot tougher than people think it is. I know this because I watched a friend do it and it tore at her for months. Abortion tears at you too but it's easier in the first trimester when it's just a tiny blob on the screen. And at least with abortion you don't have to think for the rest of your life about the kid you gave to someone else.

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As someone who grew up in a foster family, I'll volunteer that this is incorrect.

The waiting lists are for VERY SPECIFIC types of white babies, if they are there are at all. And they are NOT always there -- not in every county, every city, every state.

The huge wait is for uber-aryans -- blonde hair, blue eyes. Males are wanted more than females. And also extremely important is that they are fresh from the womb.

Babies up for adoption drop value out of the womb as quick as new cars do when you drive them off the lot. Get a 6 month old kid and the demand is FAR less than for a fresh one, and at one year, hugely less still. At two years, sorry, you're getting old. At three years, ewwww. Better luck next life, buddy. Get a five year old or a six year old and ouch, this is getting REALLY rough.

And yes, they exist, and there are plenty of them. Soooo, so many. That's why they often get placed in virtually any foster parent situation at all. Because the state simply can't handle all the unwanted children there are. Not even close. If you have a parent who breaks his kid's ribs and f*cks him up the ass, are you going to leave him there with his biological parents? Even though it's against the law and you could lose your job for it? Or are you going to pass him out to anyone and everyone, including maybe some really sketchy characters?

What choice do you have?

And yes, our family has been in the situation to receive those kids who have been incredibly brutalized by their natural parents. It not only happens -- wake up world, it happens ALL THE TIME. Every day, everywhere. All the time. Try to sleep tight knowing what else is going on all around the world, your country, your neighborhood. This sh*t is so real that it's as real as your next door neighbor. And tiny children live it every day.

Unwanted children aren't wanted. Not even white ones. Only a tiny percentage of them, for a brief window in time. Good luck hitting the lottery, young' un! God bless you, because we sure won't.

[Iq75]

OP,

If you have been using the condom correctly, there’s a very minimal chance that she’s pregnant. Girls get these “feelings” all the time.

My cousin got pregnant when she was 16. They decided that they would give the child for adoption. Once she was born and they saw her, there was no way my cousin or her mother would have given her away. I don’t think that they asked for the 16 year old father’s opinion. This is just for saying that making plans for adoption is not the same thing as actually giving your child up for adoption.

Btw, while I was reading this thread I got a text message from my wife; she’s pregnant!

[Lonhro]

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OP,

If you have been using the condom correctly, there’s a very minimal chance that she’s pregnant. Girls get these “feelings” all the time.

My cousin got pregnant when she was 16. They decided that they would give the child for adoption. Once she was born and they saw her, there was no way my cousin or her mother would have given her away. I don’t think that they asked for the 16 year old father’s opinion. This is just for saying that making plans for adoption is not the same thing as actually giving your child up for adoption.

Btw, while I was reading this thread I got a text message from my wife; she’s pregnant!

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A couple of things.....

1) Why would your wife text you on such a big occasion?
2) Forgive my need to be a nit, and
3) Congratulations (and/or commiserations) dude! [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Iq75]

1) and 2) If everything goes well she/he will be our 3rd child. When her period was late, based on previous experiences, we were already like 80 % sure that she was pregnant. We also discussed it on the phone ½ h before she made the test. So to answer to your question: I’m at work, it’s our 3rd time and we already were kind of sure, thus the text message.

3) Thanks, but it’s not time to congratulate just yet, let’s wait the 9 months and hope that everything goes well.

[kyro]

been there, done that. I think it's some sort of rite of passage guys must go through.