Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9

[bogey1]

Odd how everyone is picking on the family thing.

FWIW, my family generally gets along great. We all truly look forward to family get togethers. They're usually a semi-party atmosphere, some play games, others drink beer and talk, lots of food to be had, etc.

[Blarg]

It's funny, people talking about family in less than glowing terms is I think extremely threatening to some people, so much so that it makes them angry. I regularly see contempt and quite often outright anger directed at people who say their relationships with their family aren't what they wished they were. It's strange that that of all things would make some people furious, and I think it shows how scary-fragile we really rare.

[daveT]

Good for the aggressive types if their families are good. Either they are in denial about their true emotions, or they have a great family. It is strange to think that these people don't even feel empathy, that they don't understand why someone wouldn't love their father after he raped him or her. Surely, if a stranger did this, this stranger would be a horrible person that should rot forever in prison, but a family must be forgiven. Just weird, this emotion, or whatever it is that drives this emotion, is beyond my comprehension. I know that this is more extreme, but it just shows how far it goes. I feel if I could understand this, I would understand the lighter feelings.

[bogey1]

I don't get the "family must be forgiven" crap either. I just genuinely have good family. There are a few people that we all pretty much avoid and they avoid us.

Family are people and I only associate with people I want to associate with. Fortunately, the bulk of my family consists of people I want to be around.

[entertainme]

Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.

I share his sentiment. In fact I started a long post about the importance of family to me last night. Then, as is often the case, I hit the delete key. (I probably delete about 50% of what I start to write in the lounge.)

On the other hand, one of the reasons I feel pretty blessed when it comes to family is looking around and seeing how screwed up many families are, (which by extension means people in general can be pretty messed up.)

Appreciating family doesn't mean you put it on a pedestal above all else, or don't understand that some people have to cut all ties because of the evil in their bloodlines. Please! Where is this coming from?

I can wish people would live up to their potential while fully realizing than many won't and some fail miserably.

Back to the OP. A very nice "stop and reflect" message.

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Last Thanksgiving, one of my sisters asked how my "little job" was going. Fine, I guess, if you consider managing a $2 billion product line little.

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This caught my eye, partly because I have a job that's difficult to describe, and partly because your work sounds interesting. I can completely understand if it's not something you can share about online, though, as my work is not something I feel I should post about on a message board, (not to be obtuse, it's basically sales.)

Also, 35 is just the start of your best years! It's nice to be old enough to not give a crap what others think.

[Blarg]

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Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.


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You misunderstood. The comments I made were general and about human nature, and not directed to bogey at all.

[daveT]

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Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.



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Didn't perceive it either. I think that the general sense of some of the posts was about why KT's post states this about his family. It seems like many people don't understand his thinking, and others, in turn, don't understand the counter-thinking. I think that Bogey probably has a balanced view of this issue.

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Appreciating family doesn't mean you put it on a pedestal above all else, or don't understand that some people have to cut all ties because of the evil in their bloodlines. Please! Where is this coming from?


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Some things are better left untold. But if you have an imagination......

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I probably delete about 50% of what I start to write in the lounge.

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You are not alone.

[Blarg]

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Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.



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Didn't perceive it either. I think that the general sense of some of the posts was about why KT's post states this about his family. It seems like many people don't understand his thinking, and others, in turn, don't understand the counter-thinking. I think that Bogey probably has a balanced view of this issue.

[ QUOTE ]
Appreciating family doesn't mean you put it on a pedestal above all else, or don't understand that some people have to cut all ties because of the evil in their bloodlines. Please! Where is this coming from?


[/ QUOTE ]

Some things are better left untold. But if you have an imagination......

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I probably delete about 50% of what I start to write in the lounge.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are not alone.

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This is all reminiscent of OP's third point, which goes to prove it right:

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3. Other people are always problematic. That's not to say that I've evolved a Sartrian view of the Other, but the flawed nature of communication is the source of most daily stress. No matter how precisely I explain myself, the explanation is dependent on the receiver of the message.


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